Child Restraint / Harness – Yes or No?

For

Against

• Some kids are just born runners and escape artists. If it helps keep the child safe and close to mum and dad then I’m all for it! Before i had children i was the opposite though, could never understand how anyone could put their child on a leash. Generally the ones who judge don’t have children or have never experienced an escaping child.   Melanie

• I have a back pack harness. I’m all for them. I’d rather have people having a go at me and my child safe, than be travelling in the back of an ambulance or reporting a missing child at the police station.  Emma

• I’m all for CHOICE!!! Each child and situation is different, if it worked/works for you GREAT, if it’s not required or not your cup of tea GREAT!  Parenting is a hard enough gig without input/judgment from those who’ve not walked in another’s shoes!!   Shannon

• I’ve never used one, so far my kids haven’t been runners but why anyone would be against something that could potentially save a child’s life is beyond me. I wouldn’t hesitate to use one.  Jackie

• I haven’t used one but definitely for them. You can never be to safe when it comes to your kids it takes a turn of the head for them to be gone and if it lowers your stress level whilst out awesome. Wish I had of used one.   Suzi

• I use one for my 3 yr old daughter. I have 3 kids so 2 r in the pram and one is on a harness that’s a butterfly. My daughters fight over who is going to wear it. My husband was against it but I said if I take them out by myself id rather her on the harness than hit by a car or lost. He hasn’t complained since lol.   Lissia

• I used one for my son when he was younger. He has autism but was undiagnosed at that point. Put simply he had no concept of danger at all (like most toddlers) so it was to keep him safe. Eventually we got to a point where I could say “stay next to the pram or you will go back in it” and he understood. It took a LOT of him screaming and then calming down and wanting out and we would go over it again. If I had had another child at that point there’s no way I could have done that and the backpack would have continued. I am considering getting one again (he is 3.5) as I have a newborn now and I lost him in big w the other day. Scariest moment of my life.   Chloe

• Haven’t personally used one but was in a cafe recently and there was a mother with a toddler and bubs who was trying to put a backpack style on toddler. They had named it Jack or something and mum said ‘Jack can’t stay on his own, you can take him across the road for me’ and toddler was happy to wear it. I just thought it was great! I see nothing wrong with keeping a child safe!   Sharon

• I’ll be commenting on both because I am all for them if they are used properly! I had one for my son, rarely used but when we went for train trips to the city and stuff it was really helpful to ensure he was safe and it kept him close to me but he was able to walk freely! In saying that some people give it a bad name by using it to “drag” their children around (which sadly I’ve seen people do this) they shouldn’t be allowed to use them, it’s more or less child abuse!

• We used one of the teddy bear ones from toys r us (not sure on brand but was great)!   Krystal

• In the UK, they are normal so you don’t have to worry about being frowned upon. We have one for our son that is a little turtle backpack… and he loves wearing it! I agree at first it did look a bit like a leash but at the end of the day, as long as your child is safe and comfortable, who cares?  Kirsty

• I’m all for them! Before I had kids I have to admit I hated them but since having kids I will put their safety over anything. How many horror stories do we see where kids get taken or go missing when the parent has turned their back for 1 second. I have 2 kids under 2 and I like to know my eldest is attached to me at all times if I need to tend to my bub. I don’t hold it as u would a “leash” and pull my daughter pack as if she’s a pet. I wrap it around my wrist and we hold hands it’s purely there as an added precaution should she try to run. I don’t care if people judge me because those people aren’t my problem, my children’s safety is my responsibility and I’m prepared to do what I need to keep them safe.  Jess

• I used a restraint. Goodness help anyone who made a comment. For the safety of my child it was worth it! Particularly as he was 2 and I was heavily pregnant and tired… All it takes is a split second and they’re gone. Usually though I’d try to have a trolley to keep him contained or he wore a monkey backpack with his snacks and a small rope for IF I needed to hold on to him.   Chantale

• I use one for my son he is 2 and I have a newborn. He refuses to sit in the buggy, I find it is safer than him running into the road. I always hold it lose and hold his hand. It keeps him safe that’s the main thing.   Laura

• I’m for and against. For them because some kids are genuinely runners. Or perhaps have ADHD and who are we to judge the parents who struggle every day that want a normal outing. I’m against for some parents who do it as a form of punishment.  Tish

• Whatever works to keep them safe I say !   Karlee

• I have 4 children aged 1, 2, 7 and 8. I don’t use a restraint and I have never used a restraint. My 2year old walks everywhere and I have lost her once or twice when she first started while doing the grocery shopping. One of the scariest things a parent could experience! She is generally very good and stays with me now. From time to time I have to call her away from something that she finds interesting but she doesn’t wonder off anymore.

• Once upon a time, both before and after having children I would shake my head at people that used them. Just because I thought of it like walking a dog and you shouldn’t treat your kids like that. I no longer do that! I now understand that every person, every child, every single parent’s way of teaching is different and what may work for one does not necessarily work for another. Children with unnoticeable disabilities, ADHD, a number of other things that I can’t think of off the top of my head and even just over excited children. And the parent’s. While one parent may be able to handle it others can not and there is nothing wrong with that. They just need a little assistance, and even if a parent did do it for their own sanity or even as a punishment, who the hell are you or I to judge them and their parenting?? At least they are not flogging or abusing their child! It would be no different to sitting/standing a child in a corner or taking their toys off them or banning them from T.V etc. Anyways, that’s just my opinion.   Tara

• I must admit I haven’t used one and we don’t have one. My 2yr old ds likes holding our hand but when we go to the checkout in the shop and you let go of his hand he just runs off. I think for his safety he needs one but i feel like people will look at me in like I’m a bad parent for having my child on a leash. i know it’s for the safety of my child but i feel like other people around me wouldn’t agree.   Jazzman

• Before I had kids, I used to think “I would never put a leash on my child”! After having kids, I now think it is responsible parenting. I would rather see a child on a restraint than running around erratically in a busy car park or street! Our children are so precious, if they safe your child’s life just once, I am 100% all for them!   Melanie

• I personally haven’t used one yet but I do have one and I would have no problem using them! For me it’s a safety issue! It’s not like I would drag my kid around or treat them like an animal it’s there just in case!!!   Annemaree

• I actually purchased one the other day purely for when we go on holidays. We will be flying and have an extremely active 15 months old and I can just imagine what she would be like without one at Sydney airport whilst we are trying to juggle luggage etc. I don’t care what people will say, it is for her own safety.   Kelly

• I’m all for them. Us mums don’t really have eyes in the back of our heads and it only takes seconds to get into traffic or water. Safety first. Can’t replace children.   Stacey

• I used one recently while travelling with my 14mo dd. we were travelling just the two of us and I was 6 months pregnant. It was the only way my independent tired and stubborn little munchkin would stay by me.. The minute she felt freedom she would run, and in a huge airport like Dubai and New Yorks JFK definitely wasn’t going to take that risk. I understand both sides, but I definitely agree that it should be up to the parent to decide based on the safety of their child and the situation.   Kassondra

• I got the animal backpack for my DS when he was 22 months old and we were going to be travelling overseas… He was famous for just taking off running and since I was travelling alone with him I felt it was the safest for him and I. After using it a couple times I didn’t even have to hold the lead cause he had learned to stay by me when wearing the backpack… now he’s 31months old and I haven’t used it in ages!   Dayna

• We used the backpack style when dd was 2.5yo & travelled overseas. It was so useful while waiting in line at customs & when boarding. It would have been impossible to carry her/hold hands & our carry on luggage etc.   Olivia

• I was always against them, often comparing them to dog leashes aha, but since having a child of my own, I totally agree with them now. It’s there to keep the child safe, not to make them look stupid or make them any less a human. My 17mo is a runner but getting better with holding my hand. If I ever felt that I needed to use one, I wouldn’t think twice (:   Claudia

• I’m  all for them with 3 toddlers I would rather know where they are then them run off and be hit by a car or be lost in a crowd.   Libby

• Before I had kids I didn’t like the idea of them as thought it was treating them like animals but when I had my first son he was a runner( faster than me too) as he has autism he has no sense of danger and I was always worried taking him out if not strapped in a pram! He always bee lined for the road or the exit at shops! Having a harness saved his life on many occasions I’m sure! He is now 6 and is old enough to understand to a limit that running off is dangerous so a harness is not needed anymore! My middle son is 2 and gets cranky if you don’t hold his hand so no harness needed there and now just to see how my littlest son goes as has just started walking but if I needed it I will never hesitate to use a harness to help keep them safe! I guess if people do look at it the same as we put dogs on leads then maybe they should ask why we put dogs on leads…. To keep them safe and to stop them from getting hit by a car or dog napped! Same dangers apply for a child!   Lauren

• I have a monkey backpack for my boy after he took off towards our road used a few time till he got the hint no holding mummy’s hand monkey goes on and he hates it but I’d rather use it then lose my son and yes I agree Renee it’s a safety harness not a dog lead and collar as long as it’s for the safety of the child. Tegan^ my sons exactly the same but only when dads not there it suck but helps he likes the pram now to so he get the choice now walk or pram but he always has monkey on so if I look away he is still when I look back there.   Samantha

• I did for a very short period of time as my daughter took to running TOWARDS roads every time we went for a walk….she learnt very quickly that holding Mummies hand was a much better option.  Renee

• My son is 3, so the age most kids listen. He has some learning issues but looks like your typical 5 yr old, big kid. But he is a runner and has NO stranger danger!   Sara

• We used a Thomas harness for a few months for my then 20 mo ds when I was heavily pregnant, to keep both of us safe. We always held his hand with the lead around our wrist…he was a bolter & is very strong willed, so it helped us teach him to hold our hand & stay close while out and about…we haven’t needed to use it since, it was a fantastic teaching aid & gave us peace of mind.   Melissa

• I’m all for them. I agree with what other people have said about safety it only takes a few seconds for them to run in front of a car or hide behind something or someone to take them but all these people who think it’s like your treating your kids like a dog who cares what they think most dogs get treated like family anyway and in some cases dogs are peoples kids so it’s not necessarily a bad thing being treated like a dog.  Renay

• These days they are essential. Too many crowded places and distractions to lure little ones away, let alone being aware of undesirable people.  Caroline

• I’ve used the backpack ones. My dd was an absolute runner & with my ds only 16months younger I didn’t have enough hands to stop her escaping. I did have her in a double pram for a while but once she started getting out of that the next safest option was the harness. To me, her safety was the most important thing. I still held her hand whilst pushing the pram but the harness was there on case she did a runner! She also loved having the Teddy bear on her back & for the most part didn’t mind having it on. I’ve never regretted using it & once she became more dependable I stopped using it. I only ever received positive comments about it from strangers too.   Kathleen

• We use a rein harness or a backpack that looks like a spider – we try to hold hands mostly but fine these reins give him some freedom when in crowded places without the fear of losing him. We don’t use it everywhere we use our discretion, not bothered what people think about them when we are out and about at all! Too many weirdos to risk my precious boy x (he’s 23 month).  Emma

• When my son had started to walk/run, we had a monkey backpack harness for when we went to crowded places. I didn’t want to lose him and he seemed to like the monkey backpack. Didn’t need to use it for very long, as he learnt to listen and stay close whilst out and about I would rather have my child safely with me. It is so disappointing that some people just can’t keep their nasty opinions to themselves, especially when it’s not their child!   Emma

• I’m heavily pregnant and have to cross roads with 4 kids under 6 every day to walk the eldest into school – using an teddy backpack restraint as a safety net while teaching my little man to hold my hand etc has been very helpful. He loves the backpack even without the lead on, but after a week or so he didn’t need it anymore.   Hannah

•  We’ve just started using one as we have a new baby and an energetic 2 year old. Gives me peace of mind in the shops when she’s not doing what I need her to.   Kelly

• I used one of those animal backpack harnesses you can get from kmart for my daughter when she was walking up until 3. She now 4 and still likes to wear it as a backpack because she can put little things in there… I would rather have her wear it than having to chase after her especially in shopping carparks. Im in need of one for my lil boy who would rather walk than be trapped in pram… and what’s great about the backpack harness is they have a long lead so the child can still walk ahead and explore but no more than 1metre… my daughter won’t leave my side more than a meter now and its great. She used to run off… plus it’s not like we are forcing them on our children as now you can get really cute ones and kids love them cause it’s like a little back pack…Danielle

• I used a back pack style one for my daughter. I didn’t use it daily however frequently enough she knew what was going on. I always had peace of mind I knew where she was. It taught her to stay close. I have never used it with my second, he is like a magnet. I get why some people don’t like them. I’m pro supporting each other’s choices.   Misty

• I used one when I was pregnant with my second, it was a turtle backpack and my son, who was 18 months when we started using it, loved it! I felt less stress when we were at the shops or walking because I knew I didn’t have to worry about him running off! People always asked where we got it and told us how cute and clever it was! I never felt bad for putting it on him and never got any negative feedback!   Daina

• I let my 16 month old ds pick his own. He has a monkey with a tail he loves it wants it on all the time I got it cause he is at the age where he just loves walking but still hasn’t worked out to listen to instructions and runs away. So when we went away for a week to the city I felt comforted that I knew where he was and he was safe. I always thought they were mean before I had my ds now I see them as a god sent he knows how to wriggle out of holding hands very fast! Oh and my hands don’t get bitten!!!!! As I have a biter!! He likes to bite when things don’t go his way but the slight restrictions of the monkey he has no issues with at all! And my hands are bite free!!!!   Jennie

• I am for the animal back packs. As a mother of 2.7 year old twins that can now climb out of my awesome walking pram they were a necessity when taking my eldest to school. As much as they were good for keeping the twins close I faced other problems of them wanting to go in opposite directions or not wanting to walk at all! To say that some mum’s drag their kids with the leads is no different than a mother pulling her child up by their arm!  Dee

• My son is a runner and doesn’t want to hold my hand, it can take a mere second or 2 for a child to run off on a road if you’re walking and that could be deadly… I hated the idea before I was pregnant but I’m glad I have one and my son loves his “lion” (teddy harness) it keeps him safe and gives him some freedom.   Nicole

• I’m in two minds. I hate that they are basically leashes but at the same time, my daughter runs wild. I have one for her but haven’t used it yet as I’m worried about public opinion and feeling like I’m walking my child.  Katiee

• Completely for them after having my son run off in a car park nearly being run over was an image I will never get out of my head so he gets his backpack harness on for his safety he is a runner!   Mandy

• I had one when I put it on my son (he was 15tg months at the time ) and stopped ad laid on the ground until I took it off.  Lynsey

• I used one for my oldest, I bought it after he ran away from me whilst heavily pregnant (he was 18 months old I was nine months pregnant) straight into an elevator which promptly closed! Thank Christ for the old lady keeping him in there until I waddled down and retrieved him! He wore it for about three months as he thought it funny to run away from me, but would pinch his baby brother if I put him in the double pram.  Stacey-Leigh

• I used the wrist strap worked a treat as she learnt to not run away. Only had to use it a couple of times. Got some really dirty looks when out an about while using it but I didn’t care least I knew where my child was & I knew that no one could just take her.   Deanne

• Last year at the royal show I used a backpack with a lead on it.. My son was 18months at the time and wasn’t good yet at holding hands and not running away… It was the best option at the time. Though now a year on. He’s older and I wouldn’t use it. I’ve taught him to stay nearby (doesn’t mean he always does yet).  Prue

• I have to use one for my little as he just run off and chuck him self on the floor and won’t move with out me dragging him.  Tegan

• I used one for 2 of my boys. They were runners so I found it very handy.I am all for them especially if u do have a very active child that likes to use there running feet lol.   Emma

• I have a active 3 & 4 year old. I use a harness on them with a animal back pack anytime we are going into big crowds or somewhere I need to keep them close by. I love them. We can go out and enjoy the family time instead of being stressed all the time. They love them as well as they have a animal back pack on. 4 year old as a monkey one and 3 year old has a dog one and they choose who holds their tails. I started using them once they weren’t in the pram all the time. I have had teenagers laugh and say why do you have your kids on a dog lead even though it was the backpacks and I just responded at least I know my kids are safe. We don’t use them often but sometimes they even ask to have them on lol.   Laura

• Yes we have because our child has autism and is non verbal ..it’s for a child safety I’m a mother of eight so my children are all different in the way they respond to certain safety rule some needed it some didn’t ..it’s a parents choice and no one else.  Chantel

• I used to be against them, but I am now all for them. I don’t use one as such, but did use one when I took my then 2 yo to the Royal Show last year. At that age my lo refused to hold my hand, and didn’t want to be restrained to the pram. He was more than happy to wear the wrist strap. I will use it again this year. I’d rather have him harnessed the risk the chance of loosing him in a very busy place.  Kristy

• I have never used one but if I needed to for my child’s safety I would. Every child, family and situation is different. If a safety harness or wrist strap keep your child safe and the parent sane there is no problem in using one.  Jasmine

• I used to use a backpack harness when taking mine to daycare as my youngest was still in a pram and the older didn’t understand to stay beside it.   Shay

• For safety they are great! I agree that possibly those who oppose them may not have needed to use them to keep their kids safely with them. I haven’t needed to use one (yet!), but definitely see them as an option worth considering for kids who like to run…Bron

• I used the monkey back pack type. Love it and needed it otherwise I couldn’t leave the house by myself with my 2 youngest!   Toni

• Well reading all these semi harsh comments would make anyone that uses some sort of a harness feel like a crap parent! Nobody knows what people’s situations are and nobody should judge! Can anyone look at a child and know whether they have autism, ADHD, hearing impaired etc? Can you look at a parent and tell if they have even slept last night as maybe their child with special needs has kept them up all night and using a harness is the safest option at that point in time? We all judge way too much these days:( I am against harnesses when the parents are just dragging them along or not even watching them at all just letting them walk behind! But sometimes it’s needed for a child’s safety and maybe next time we see someone using it we could stop and ask ourselves why they are using it instead of judging and saying its lazy parenting or that parental responsibility is key! I used one for my son who has autism until he learned danger but haven’t needed it for my other two sons who don’t have autism!   Lauren

• I’m for and against. For them because some kids are genuinely runners. Or perhaps have ADHD and who are we to judge the parents who struggle every day that want a normal outing.

• I’m against for some parents who do it as a form of punishment.  Tish

• Food for thought….isn’t both prams and baby carriers/slings also forms of restraint? I have just had twins and if I am to go anywhere with my 23 month old son then I will be considering a little backpack type ‘restraint’. I am not a lazy patent but my son is still learning and I would rather have him with me than to lose him!   Rowena

• There’s a fair bit of judgment here.. Not a lazy quick fix is you have an autistic child who would happily wander off with any passing friendly looking stranger but a life saver! Am against if it is used as a punishment or to pull the child along that is definitely wrong.   Caroline

• Yes I agree, I think a child should be taught to stay with you in public. I see it as a lazy fix myself. I will not be using one with any of my children.   Sarah

• I have 4 children aged 1, 2, 7 and 8. I don’t use a restraint and I have never used a restraint. My 2year old walks everywhere and I have lost her once or twice when she first started while doing the grocery shopping. One of the scariest things a parent could experience! She is generally very good and stays with me now. From time to time I have to call her away from something that she finds interesting but she doesn’t wonder off anymore. Once upon a time, both before and after having children I would shake my head at people that used them. Just because I thought of it like walking a dog and you shouldn’t treat your kids like that. I no longer do that! I now understand that every person, every child, every single parent’s way of teaching is different and what may work for one does not necessarily work for another. Children with unnoticeable disabilities, ADHD, a number of other things that I can’t think of off the top of my head and even just over excited children.  And the parent’s. While one parent may be able to handle it others cannot and there is nothing wrong with that. They just need a little assistance, and even if a parent did do it for their own sanity or even as a punishment, who the hell are you or I to judge them and their parenting?? At least they are not flogging or abusing their child! It would be no different to sitting/standing a child in a corner or taking their toys off them or banning them from T.V etc.Anyways, that’s just my opinion.  Tara

• I’m only against as it doesn’t teach your kids how to behave on/near roads. But in saying that there are kids with special needs or delays that may not be able to recognize dangers and for that I totally agree some kids need them.   Bianca

• I commented in both I’m for them. I agree you should teach your child to stay with you but they don’t always listen or at the age where they don’t know better. So then what happens the odd occasion they don’t listen and your somewhere like a car park or you child’s one that won’t sit in a pram or trolley but would rather walk. You can’t always predicted or control how your child’s going to behave so you do what works.  Renay

• I can’t see that teaching your child to stay close is any different if you have a restraint on or not. It certainly makes a difference if you’re teaching by experience – but who’s going to let their kid get snatched or hit by a car so they can learn a lesson? No one! Restraint itself doesn’t teach the lesson! Where’s the harm in enhancing safety while your child is learning?   Meghan

• I didn’t like them with my first for the same reason as most people have mentioned and I never used one with him – I still think they need to be used carefully and not relied on but I ate my words with my Houdini dd.  Renee

• I’m a little bit of both. Some kids need them as a consequence in the process of learning but I don’t think they should be used because its “easier” than teaching your child to listen and stay safe!   Erin

• My son used to do the bolt; it was getting dangerous so we started to use one of those monkey backpack thingys. It worked ok, till the dog ate it!! So I tried another tactic, he would have to hold my hand, if he didn’t or pulled away, I would grab him and sit down wherever we were and stay there until he assured me that he would hold my hand. I’ve since done that with all my kids, it works for us, they learn the only way they’re going to get to do anything other than sit on the floor is hold my hand, it gets boring. I probably start this 14-18mths. If we are going out for extended periods or really crowded events then we revert back to the pram for everyone’s sanity.   Anfrea

• I’ve commented in both! I thought I would be against them before my son was walking but now I’m not! Ad with everything in your child’s life as a parent you do what you feel is best! It’s a thought provoking topic! My choice is safety – in the split second something can happen by the road or in a crowded place I’m not taking my chances, I’m still teaching my child safety I’m just being safe too !! He has no special needs at all he’s an active toddler who’s learning , pretty much like when he started to eat I didn’t choose to give him an adults sized meal and a knife and fork ! I chose to start at the level right for him to learn……. It’s appropriate for his age, how you choose to teach your child is your choice and choose to be a little bit cautious in such a chaotic world.   Emma

• I’m not for or against, I won’t be using one as I do want to teach my girl to stay with me and not run off and age is getting better! But I won’t lie, I’m 39 weeks pregnant and can’t run after her and thought of using one has crossed my mind lol I won’t but, I’m just avoiding the shops more atm.   Alana

• I’ve commented on both because I have seen people use them to “drag” their children around and I think that’s completely wrong!!! I don’t think they should be used as punishment or as a consequence! They should still be taught to hold hands & stay with you when walking with a restraint, we only used our sons a few times (mainly trips to the city etc.) and his nearly 4 now and knows not to go on the road, hold hands at all times, when he doesn’t have to hold my hand stay next to me and stay in my sight! So I guess end of the day Restraints are good if used properly!!!   Krystal

• I don’t like them for pretty much the same reason as everyone else. Children need to learn to stay by your side and not run off and using them is a quick fix but I think there are better option, most kids I’ve seen in them are young enough to be in a stroller and I would use a stroller before a restraint to keep my child close.   Jessica

• I personally have never used one, and don’t agree with them generally. I have seen parents just pull them back, even though gently and feel it is a quick fix for parenting and kids need to be taught how to behave in public and near roads, I also understand it is hard for parents who may have a few little ones and it would be very hard and for safety reasons may use one, as long as it is not all the time.   Lauren

• I have commented on both. They shouldn’t be used for punishment or discipline but they are great at crowded places like shows ect where they can easily get separated from you with people pushing past so the kids still have a bit of freedom to run around but within limits. As with everything else they have their good points and bad. They are not for lazy parenting it’s all about safety.   Lauren

• Every child, family and situation is different. If a safety harness or wrist strap keep your child safe and the parent sane there is no problem in using one. Having said that I don’t think they should be used for discipline or for an excessive amount of time.   Jasmine