Baby Hints & Tips

Deciding on more than one child

children paintingJust wondering on your thoughts on having more than one child and what are your reasons? Worried about my child growing up lonely being my one and only.

  • As a single mum of a beautiful 5 month I think about this a lot. I’d hate for him to be an only child as i could never imagine growing up without my brothers and sisters. Fingers crossed for Prince Charming and some more babies one day hahaha.   Trista
  • As an only child I wouldn’t recommend it. I miss now not having a sibling to talk to ect I never had cousins either until I was 14. Can be a very boring and lonely childhood. I always said I would never have just one based on my experience.   Yvonne
  • Siblings make parenting less demanding in my opinion. They always have a playmate and don’t have to rely upon you to stimulate them. Most mums of only one kid that I know, freak out that I’m having bub 4, but I certainly accomplish a lot more due to actually having more time. Sounds silly that I get more time, but the kids entertain each other and I can step in snd out of activities as I please and am not required to be there for every part of their play.   Lindita
  •  I agree with each to their own. It depends on what you can afford or how many you think is enough for you. My husband and I have 8 children. We actually decided to stop at number 6 but even though we were being careful I fell pregnant with twins when she was 6 months old. Although it’s a struggle and money is tight and our house is busting at the seams, I wouldn’t have it any other way.   Kym
  •  I’m an only child. Yes it gets boring and lonely. But I adore my mum and I got to do more alone things like reading and drawing. I wouldn’t change my childhood for the world.  Nicole
  •  I was adamant we were only having one due to a traumatic birth. I’ve since changed my mind (13 months later) as I would really like my son to have a sibling. I know lots of well adjusted only children and lots of well adjusted siblings. It really depends on their upbringing.   Melissa
  •  I’m an only child and I’m pleased I didn’t have any siblings as I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had. I had the girl next door who was 2 yrs older than me and mums 2 best friends both had kids in the years around me, so I was never alone. The relationship I had with my mum because I didn’t have to share her is beyond priceless. One happy and healthy child is better than none.   Diane
  •  I have 1 son and I would adore more. But my boy is my miracle (adopted) and hubby says no more. I will cherish him and adore all the times we have. He won’t be lonely we have a fantastic circle of friends and his best friend is an only child too so we include him on a lot of things!   Deborah
  •  I’m an only child, it was boring growing up. I have 2 children because I didn’t want my child to be lonely.   Billi
  •  No matter how many children you have it is amazing how much love your heart can hold. These days all children socialise that much I don’t believe it is a problem. There are people that can only have one child. This is the way of life. Enjoy.   Kerry
  •  I had one child and was quite happy and contemplating wanting another one and turns out I am having 2 more at once which is a bit scary but think it would be good for daughter to learn to share and do all of that cause she is not real good at it.   Amanda
  •  I’m an only child and I can honestly say that the stereotypical spoilt and lonely only child is crap. My parents also split when I was twelve months old, but I never felt unloved or ‘bought’ like so many kids. Nor did I get everything I wanted (if anything my parents were stricter than a lot of kids I knew with siblings). I was also forced to make friends and come out of my shell more; something that I think was a good thing. Don’t just have a baby to give your little one a playmate, or so he won’t be lonely- what about the poor kid who overhears something when he’s older and realizes you only had him so the older one had a friend? It’s about what sort of parent you are, not how many you have.   Alana
  •  So undecided too- we have an 18 month old and thinking one is enough. I always wanted 3 (both of us are one of 3kids) but now I just don’t know. I’m 30 this yr and my partner is 31 and we don’t want to be ‘old’ parents (fertility issues already) who can’t keep up or give them the time. Also thinking about things like education, holidays overseas etc and what life we can provide for our son if we have just him. He has cousins and my friends have kid’s similar ages so he won’t be alone forever. ???   Kirsty
  •  My oldest was a lonely only for 12 years so when I had my youngest daughter we had her brother 13 months later because I have watched the pain of 1 child being lonely and refused to do that to another. So now I have a 13 yo 14 months old and a 6 week old. The 2 little ones will always have someone to play/fight with.   Kyla
  •  I was an only child for 10 years and it sucked! When my mum had two more growing up watching then playing together it sucked for me as I was so much older! So I will be having two! And plus only children can be very self centered and not play as will with over kids! Me included! Lol good luck.  Cherie
  •  I hated being the only child that’s why I have 2 kids so they can grow up together.  Marybeth
  •  I only ever wanted 1… He was almost 7 when I had my girl. Ashleigh just summed it up… My son is exactly the same… He wants to play with his sister but is too rough so I always have to come in the middle… It would be nice if they were closer in age but I wasn’t ready… On saying that I think it’s hard to keep them amused as they are in totally different brackets…  Toni
  •  I’m an only child however I was constantly around other kids like at family daycare or cousins. I never felt lonely growing up. You do wish for a sibling but it’s not the end of the world, in fact everyone was envious of me! I never knew what “shot gun” was because I got to sit any of the seats in the car! Lol   Anna
  •  I had 4 plus a step daughter… More the merrier and I have big age gaps: 24,18,11,4,7 monthsAlways thought I’d o ly have one but love my kids and would probably have more if I could !!   Rachael
  •  I had never questioned having a second, it’s having the third that I’m not sure about. Reason for having two? One to be mum’s favourite, one to be dad’s.   Darrell
  •  My theory is that if anything happens to the parents then they will be lonely, I was one of two and don’t get along with my sister so I said I always wanted at least 3 so that they always had someone who they were close to. I now have four and life couldn’t be any better. My brother in law had 1 and said that was it, now they have a 16.5 year old, 4.5 and 1.5 year old, they’re loving it even with an unexpected medical condition with the last oops baby.  Christine
  •  I always said I wanted more than one child, as growing up most of the only children I knew where harder to get along with. I always wanted 4 children, as I liked the thought of an even number (no middle child) and 2 doesn’t feel like enough to me. I currently have 2 with the youngest almost 1, we will be trying for number 3. Also my brothers were 6 and 9 yrs older than me and I was always envious of friends with close siblings- even though they would fight, they always had a friend close in age.   Amy
  •  I have one child… And I always wanted a big family.. As i come from an family of 5.. But… My thoughts are that you shouldn’t want to have a 2nd child for the sake of giving your 1st baby a play mate.. U should really just want to have another baby/ies in ur lives. Each to their own. I know many friends who were only Children (ok- I know 3… Lol) and they are so level headed, successful and happy people w an amazing relationship w their parents.   Mimi
  •  I didn’t want my first born daughter to be lonely or grow up alone as I had 3 siblings that I love. We had a son 2 years after the first and unfortunately they have never gotten on from the time my son was a few months old, they are 13 & 11 now and my son choose to live with my ex just so he didn’t have to put up with his sister… Sooooo it didn’t work for us.  Kirsty
  •  We have 8. I think we would have been bored with a few. Hubby is from a large family.   Amanda
  •  My partner’s daughter is an only child, and honestly I struggle with her, she is a good kid but so grown up, she hangs out with adults more than her sisters. I have always wanted 3 babies, so far I have 2… My family is not complete with 2. I have a 4yo a 2yo and am due in feb with number 3. Yes I freaked out about cost etc but we are dealing with it and also excited. Miss 11 is excited to be having another sibling.   Emma
  •  I had my first daughter at 17 after labour and everything else I swore I was having no more. Then had a very traumatic pregnancy and labiur with my son 2 years later. Was told no more kids but I fell pregnant again now I have 3 beautiful children all 2 years apart. And I want to go back and try for another boy in 2 years. But even if I have another girl il be happy your heart can hold a lot of love. My kids are extremely happy playing around house together.   Rachel-lee
  •  I have a one & only wouldn’t change for anything! We’d like to foster later on but for now id rather regret not having another one then regret having another one. (I was an only till 11 then got a brother).   Natasha
  •  My hubby and I were set on just one due to circumstances out of our control. However 7 yrs after our first we were blessed with a second. I was worried about having just one and how would she turn out ect then when I was pregnant I was worried about another person that would need that 100% attention also. Our second is 11 months now and I am so glad we did have the second. My oldest is a real mother hen to her little sis. All the best I am sure you will make the right decision that suits you and partner and you’re LO.   Racheal
  •  I’ve always wanted 3 with a 2 yr gap between each so they can all grow up together.  Kai
  •  There’s an 8 yr gap between my 2 but i wish I hadn’t waited so long. My eldest is constantly bored unless she’s with a friend…or on her ipad!! She doesn’t like playing outside unless she’s with a friend either.  Ashleigh
  •  We were set on only having one and then accidently fell pregnant again. Now my fiances going to get a vasectomy.  Ashley
  •  I think it’s each to their own. We always spoke about having 2 but after our 2nd was born I didn’t feel I was done so we had another. I am done now though.   Bobbie
  •  I have 2 and would like at least one more if hubby decides he wants to over the coming years. Having 1 doesn’t mean they will grow up lonely. However you and your husband/ partner will be their only playmate/s while at home so you will need to put in a lot of effort on that front, whereas for me, my 2 keep each other company while I can get some chores done around the house. Only children do seem to get rather spoilt (just from my own experience with only children I know.) I also like the fact that in the (hopefully) far far away future, when my hubby & I are gone, our children will have each other to continue to support and guide each other. If you have one, and they have cousins close in age, I would do everything I could to try and forge a strong relationship between them and your child for an alternative sibling type relationship.   Kirsty
  •  I have 3 kids. I was an only child until I was 10 and it was very lonely for me and I always asked my mum for a sibling. I was so happy when she had my sister. I always wanted more than 1 child and I’m so glad I did, my older 2 are 9 and almost 7 and they have always played together and had each other to keep company. My little one is nearly 1 and they adore him and dote on him.   Kelly
  •  I was an only child so swore I would never only have one but in saying that I had a great mum and lots of cousins so I didn’t miss out at all. It is your choice.   Stacey
  •  My partner only wanted to have the one child after our daughter was born because he was worried that he couldn’t love another baby as much as he lives our DD and no matter what i or anyone else said I could not convince him otherwise, I was pretty upset but he wasn’t taking extra precaution to stop a baby and I certainly wasn’t trying to stop myself falling pregnant again! After a few months i missed a period and started feeling all queasy in the mornings and it turned out we were having bub #2 LOL my partner was in a bit of shock when we did the positive test and it took him a month or so before he would even have a proper conversation about the baby, needless to say he managed to wrap his head around it all and is just as wonderful and loving to our now 5 month old son as he ever was with our daughter.. Things definitely happen for a reason and i think our son was meant to be a part of our family no matter what..   Sarah.
  •  I am raising 10 year old twin girls and a 9 year old boy on my own. It is a challenge having them so close in age but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I do feel for my son though as he is surrounded by girls and asked for a brother for Xmas so I do kind of wish that I could give him a brother but 3.is enough for me.   Sharon
  •  I adore my brother and sister most of the time and wouldn’t want to live without them. Though 2 is my limit. That way it’s one to one with parent child ratio lol   Larissa
  •  That’s right I couldn’t imagine having only one child I love my little boy so much and am pregnant with my little girl and already love her so so much and god willing I would love to have one more three little munchkins to love. The biggest gift you can give your child is a sibling! I have one brother but I wish I had more!!!  Zsuzsika
  •  I think you need to carefully consider all the reasons you do want another one vs. reasons you don’t. It might be a reasonable thing to have another because you want your child to have a sibling to play with etc but are there other reasons that would make it unwise for you? I think it’s entirely possible to try and mitigate loneliness in an only child if you work hard at finding ways to have them involved with others, but you can’t take back a 2nd child. It’s far better to be a good parent to one child than to have more and stretch yourself to the point where it’s either difficult or impossible for you to be the kind of parent you want to be.   Louise
  •  We were only going to have 1! When our son was 5 yrs I could see he was lonely at times! I decided to have another as I thought he would be very lonely if anything happened to hubby & I! We now have 3 sons but I’d love a girl! Lol not sure if I’d cope with 4!   Sharna
  •  More is always better. You can always tell an only child. I have three boys and they all play together so well. They keep each other entertained and at the moment they are all such great friends. Have more if you can.   Kirralee
  •  So far I have a 2yo and a 1yo and they are best friends (sometimes) and keep each other company while I’m cleaning and I would love to have a big family of 5+ but my partner agreed to 3 lol and he doesn’t want to have a third for at least 3 more years.   Jessica
  •  We thought after having our first daughter that we were done! But changed our minds when she was around one. We wanted her to grow up with a someone and always have a playmate. We had her sister when she was 23 months old and they are the best of friends! I’m so glad that we have 2 girls close in age & hope they remain as close as they are now. I love watching them play & grow together.   Lousie
  •  The playmate thing is huge in my opinion. My boys are already best buds at 3 yrs and 9 months. Plus when we get old we don’t want the burden of taking care of us or even taking care of funeral details to fall on one child! : )   Suzy
  •  I am also a single mum to a 10 month old girl and I am worried about not having the chance to give her any siblings. But if you don’t feel the urge to have another then that is completely fine. Each to their own.   Courteney
  •  I have had three children, 3, 2 and 7months. I was only going to have one, two reasons didn’t think I could have kids and I really only had her because my husband wanted children. Once I had her, and even though I got post natal depression, I couldn’t not see myself with just one, I just felt that we weren’t a family yet. I think you just know when you have finished, if you are questioning if you should have another one or not, why?   De-anne
  •  My daughter Is 5 going on 6, I think at times one is enough I can then give her everything but then she says she is lonely and would love a sibling. I think if you r happy and your child is happy and if it happens again it does it’s a gift for the one you gave enjoy the times you have.  Nicole
  •  In my opinion, having an only child denies your child the wonderful relationship siblings have, then also the chance to be an aunt/uncle. I love those roles, so would never want to deny my kids of that.   Cassie
  •  I never wanted just one personally as I grew up in blended families – between all I have 6 siblings. I LOVED having so many around to be with – but I watched one sister (the only child of my Mum and her Dad) and my stepdaughter (also an only) feel very isolated within their respective families without someone sharing their situation. Of course life happens and the perfect nuclear family is not always possible, but I definitely wanted more than one with hubby whatever happened – we have 2 Mr 13 and Miss 3. They are far apart in age but super close in relationship – I have not one single regret For you though it depends on where you are at and how you feel personally – a well loved only child will not feel the lack. If you feel that you could not handle more than 1 its best that you give everything. If you want a large gap then do so! If your child becomes part of a blended family there is so much to be said for that! In the end it is ALL about loving your children however many you have and whatever the circumstances – everything else will be fine.  Renee
  •  Thank you for asking this question. As a single mother I worry about my daughter being lonely and the possibility that she will never have siblings.. Hopefully one day she does but until then we will both cherish this time together, just us.  Ashlee
  •  I’m worried about not having as much time for number 1 now that number 2 is on the way but I’m sure we will make it work!   Debbie


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  1. em says:

    I wasn’t an only child but my brothers were teenagers when I was born, so by the time I was old enough for a playmate, they were practically adults! So I was the only child in the house.
    I was never lonely and I never remember wishing for a sibling! i loved getting all my mum’s attention.
    It taught me how to be self-reliant, I always played imaginatively by myself, I got into books and reading in a major way and excelled in spelling and English at school. I don’t believe this would have happened if I had siblings. Even now I am very independent, and I never get bored. I don’t understand boredom – you make your own fun! My daughter will be an only child and I have no regrets.
    Also, all the people assuming that having siblings is only ever a positive thing – my brothers are two years apart. They didn’t get along as children, they were never friends, and they certainly don’t like each other now!
    As for the “burden of organising funerals” etc, we have money so all that will be handled well in advance. My child will have the support of her many aunties, uncles and cousins. She won’t be alone.
    There is way too much drama about this issue. One-child families are the largest growing type of family in the world.

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