Baby Hints & Tips

First time mum anxiety towards labour

terrified of giving birthI’m 19 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m absolutely terrified of giving birth. I’ve read the pros and cons of a natural birth compared to a caesarean and the natural birthing cons sound worse to me than that of a caesarean. Yes the recovery is worse but there is no stress on mum, bub or dad. It seems like it’s the more calm way to go.
I don’t know what to do. If I go with elective caesarean I need to organise it NOW. Who has had both ? What’s did other moms prefer? Who has elected to have a caesarean?

  • Vaginal birth is an amazing, powerful experience, women have been doing it for all time, and you can too!! Jennifer
  • I was induced with my first bub and terrified of having to have a caesarean. I had heard so many horrible stories and eventually when my time came around my hubby and I decided to just take it as it comes. It is true that no two people have the same experience so I can only go off my experience. I went in on a Sunday evening to have the gel. Ended up having two more doses on the Monday as I hadn’t dilated or effaced enough to break my waters. Tuesday morning I was 3cm so they decided to give it a go with the drop and check on me 6hrw later to see progress. I was also listed for an emergency c section. ALL that in mind, I found the gel to be the most uncomfortable part of my labour. My total labour was 2.5hrs from waters breaking to my husband holding my daughter. I was actually still clothed in my nightie and underwear when I delivered my daughter with no pain relief. She was 9lb 2 and only a slight graze. I went in with the mindset that what would be will be and tried to relax knowing the pain won’t last forever. I did have a small complication with lots of blood loss but that was fixed with daily iron tablets for a month. Other than that I have no drama and would do labour over the last 9 weeks of pregnancy anyway!! Anon
  • Don’t forget that a Caesarian is major surgery! There are all the risks that come with any major surgery. Lisa
  • Ive had a c section..my bub and this is my personal experience. .did not come.out drowsy in any way and i was on my feet the same day walking around..my daughter was a happy healthy baby who couldnt progress due to the shape of my pelvis..and after seeing how well she recoverd and how calm and beautiful ahe was i will be opting for a c section next time round again..dont let people scare you of..if its what you want. .all good. .pros and.cons to both..i can only tell you about a c section..so definitely talk around.. Louise
  • I have had both natural and emergency c sect. Both have pros and cons but each birth is different for everyone. Some have no troubles some do. And honestly you can’t base your decision on others horror stories. For your first I would attempt a natural birth honestly unless there is a medical reason not to. I preferred my recovery from c sect but I had difficult birth with my first. We all get nervous no mater how many kids you have so your not alone Melinda
  • A natrual birth is the best way to go.. as csection ya bub could come out drowsy.. let ya bub come natrually when he/she is ready i have had 6 and its not as bad as it sounds hun Mell
  • I was TERRIFIED and was planning on having all the drugs under the sun to get through it. I had a 3 day labour, 10 pound baby and had no drugs You will be fine!!! I survived and it wasn’t as bad as I thought! Have faith in yourself you’ll be great! X Amy
  • I had a natural birth, I only used gas & air. It was the most relaxing amazing moment of my life! I am 19 & was pretty nervous about giving birth. But I was so calm during my birth & to get up and be able to walk around & shower 30 minutes after my baby was born, was awesome! Charlotte
  • I’ve had 6 natural births only used gas with 3 it does hurt a lot but I was on my feet with in the hour with each 1 and only had mild cramping for a few days after. Something to distract u helps ear phones and hubby helped me a lot Nikki
  • Sweety, I’ve had a c section (an emergency one) and it’s really nothing compared to the empowerment and beauty of giving birth naturally, I am about to attempt a VBAC as I would never opt for another major surgery. I can’t wait to feel empowered by this birth, if you want some advice or someone to talk to feel free to pm me xx Kate
  • Also I would like to add that if somebody has a c section it is still a wonderful, powerful and amazing experience. You still give birth to your child and you are just as brave as anyone else. I also held my baby straight away and felt a deep connection instantly! It was beautiful. I know that this is not answering the question directly but I just thought id clear that up for all the people that are making negative comments about c sections! One way is not better that another. Krystal
  • C section Again Any day. Have had it both ways Lakyn
  • A csection not stressful on dad? Would you like to stand their and watch your husband to cut open and a baby pulled out of him? It’s stressful! I was also terrified of birth, but more so of a C section.. I managed to birth naturally, only gas and not stitches, it was hard but I got to get up and shower myself.. Not be washed down by a midwife, I changed my own pads, drive my baby to his first appointments .. My recovery was days compared to weeks! Let your body do but its made to do hun Cara
  • There is a fabulous book called birth without fear.. Find yourself a midwife you trust.. Midwifery led care is by far the best! Kate
  • At the end of the day it is your choice but this is my experience… I have had 2 children. During both pregnancies I had pre-eclampsia resulting in both of my girls being born at 37 weeks. My first I had 15 hours of active labor. My blood pressure became dangerously high and the doctors decided to perform an emergency cesarian… I was almsot fully dialated so I have felt I would say about 80-90% of the pain of full labor and honestly a cesarian is alot more painful. You can’t walk around afterwards as you are catheteised for around 24 hours. and you have to rely on the nurses to help u get your baby during the night.. Even then when you can move every movement is painful. My scar took around 6 weeks to heal and there was still alot of pulling up until about 5 months…With my second after consultation with several different doctors we decided based on the complications of the last pregnancy and the arising of the same issues this time we would go down the path of an elective cesar… It was alot calmer (like you said) but it wasn’t at all pleasant for hubby and eneded up being emerg c sec becasue I went into spontaneous labor before the date I ws booked in for. I was up and moving alot quicker but I struggled to do things with my toddler… she struggled to understand why she couldn’t play around with me like normal… it took nearly 12 weeks for my scar to heal as I wanted to keep doing things with her… I hated not being able to drive for 6 weeks… I hated having to rely on people to clean my floors and hang my washing becasue hubby had to go back to work after 3 weeks… and to be perfectly honest I an envious of mothers who are able to give birth naturally… I think you may be surprised at how much pain your body can handle. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people… :0) Amy
  • I was terrified about birth, especially with my second child because it does f***king hurt and I never thought I would do it again but I did! And I would again. Your stronger than you think! I still want to high 5 myself and every other mother just thinking about what we go through. Carley
  • You will be surprised how well you will go We are all terrified, especially with the first, but once upon a time there was no such thing as elective c sections, they were only ever done on mums that needed it for medical reasons, not just one wanting it for fear of natural birth. Your body is designed to give birth, and if it can’t or bub is in distress, etc, then c section is obviously the way you will go……but give natural a chance, if fear is the only thing that’s holding you back. I know many mums that would kill for the chance at a natural birth but unfortunately it’s not for them due to health reasons. Cassie
  • I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my first and yes it is scary to think about, but on the other hand I’m looking more forward to the end result. The thought of holding my first child in my arms will get me through. Kirsten
  • Can I suggest a hypnobirthing or Chinese medicine birth class. And prenatal yoga. As well as the standard birthing classes. They empower you to trust your body and the process. I feel for you being so worried, it’s not easy but it is wonderful. Likewise if you absolutely feel you can’t, I imagine it would be truly stressful on you and bub to go through it. All the best. Paige
  • Your a first time mum.. Everyone is scared the first time.. You’ll be fine, chances of something happening are slim. There are so many mums out there that would give anything to be able to give birth naturally Chantelle
  • Our bodies are amazing, trust in yourself. Whatever you choose it is your choice, and you will know what is best for you and bub. Best of luck x Lou
  • I had natural birth with my two children. There isn’t any stress on anyone if you concentrate & breathe. I was up & walking around within half hour of having each baby & I felt great. I didn’t want a cesarean because you can’t get back into your routine straight away. Im currently 29 weeks with baby number 3 & im planning natural again. Go to birthing classes & meet with midwifes which will help with your decision – Good Luck Brittany
  • Please attempt a natural especially for your first. It’s the most amazing experience. Karina
  • Natural birth – what nature intended…. I would never recommend a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary! Jennifer
  • I had an elective ceasarian, best decision ever. She was born in 10 mins, no stress on me or her. I was up walking around the same day. Amazing experience Jen
  • I was so terrified of natural birth! Then once it all happened it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I made the same mistake and read the pros and cons on both. But my support team (my best friend who was my birthing partner and my mother) were extremely reassuring that natural birth is the way to go and im so glad I listened to them in the end. The best luxury of having a natural birth is to have that shower after all is done. You can’t do that with a c section! It’s the only thing that made me feel all brand new I thought it was going to be so traumatic but it was actually such an amazing experience. Your body takes over and it’s very surreal. Good luck mummy to be! Natalie
  • I’ve had 10 natural and 3 c sections and have to say, if I had another I would choose natural. Gina
  • Ive had both although my csection was emergency i still preferred csection to natural, my son wasnt groggy at all after my emergency c section. Its definately a personal preference as i dont deal with labour as well as my sister Jade Saxelby she on the other hand loved having natural and it didnt bother her at all. My recovery was longer aftwr my natural than my csection good luck though either way Kristie
  • I think you need to make this decision for yourself. I personally was all planned for a natural birth until 2days before my due date when I had a scan and plans changed and I had a c-section. My doctor was more than happy to continue with our original plan but also offered a new one. I weighed up the pros and cons of both and at the end it the day I asked myself what would I regret. Would I regret not trying and risking a natural birth to have that empowering feeling that everyone talks about? Or would I regret not doing what I was comfortable with given our circumstances? Do what feels right for you and what will allow you to enjoy this amazing experience without fear. Plans can always change so don’t feel pressured or rushed into making any before you are ready. Rachael
  • I planned on a natural but had emergency ceaser and in the end it was easier, thankfully my recovery was great. And I’ve just read a few other posts and what crap your baby won’t come out drowsy if you have a ceaser mine was fine my sisters 2 were fine my aunts 4 all ceasers were fine none were drowsy lol never heard anything so ridiculous. Make sure you sift through the comments honey and take with a grain of salt Best of luck Melissa
  • I would also recommend natural if possible, there is lots of support out there for you to get through this. A c-section is major abdominal surgery. If you are planning numerous children the risks increase with each pregnancy after a c-section. Also, bub has a higher chance of needing some kind of nursery care after birth if born by cs as has higher chance of having fluid on its lungs, which in a vaginal birth would be squeezed out during labour and birth. Tamsin
  • I would give anything to be able to birth my children natural, my body failed me both times. Why would you give it up just because you scared? Empower yourself and birth without fear! Kiara
  • It is really tough, but it’s over before you know it and you really do forget the pain. I had an epidural and it was the best thing I did, I was terrified of an epidural before going into labour but I did find it really beneficial. You can do it hun, try not to think about it yet and enjoy your pregnancy Imogen
  • You can absolutely pick your baby up after a c section Helen
  • I’ve had 5 babies naturally with no epidural and its no picnic but keep in mind u can have an epidural and so long as it works properly u won’t feel any pain! Once all my babies have been born I’ve been up and showered and loved being able to walk around, yes u are a little uncomfortable ‘down there’ for a few days but that’s nothing compared to not being able to move without being in serious pain for around 6 weeks after! A friend of my sister had a cesarean almost 6 years ago and at the end of last year was in hospital because of a bad infection in her scar. Natural births aren’t for everyone but my advice would be to do it and have an epidural lol if u have a natural birth as soon as that baby is out u don’t remember the pain, well I didnt until i was back there again with the next one haha Nicole
  • I’ve had 2 natural births & 1 elective C-Section. My 1st was absolutely fine, no dramas at all My 2nd got stuck at the shoulders He was delivered blue, no heartbeat, not breathing & it took 3mins to resuscitate him & luckily he is ok. However, I was advised that he was extremely lucky, so I refused to take that risk for my 3rd. I had to fight right up to 2weeks before my due date & made to feel irresponsible (!), selfish, lazy etc…but my family would have been devastated if she hadn’t survived a natural birth. As it was, C-S went well & she was fine BUT could not breastfeed…we tried for a week & she lost so much weight we ended up back in hospital where I mix fed breast (very little milk being produced by this point)& formula from a bottle. After a week we went home & continued expressing/formula bottle feeding. At 3 weeks she learnt to latch on & I breast fed her for a year. Personally, I far preferred natural births – I loved, after all that effort of labour, right at the end, the feeling of them coming out so easily & being able to hold them straight away & having a big soft cushiony tummy for them to lie on, instead of a still big hard bump of a tummy, that made it quite difficult to hold baby! I also had a friend who was so terrified of natural birth she was making herself ill. I told her do whatever was necessary to enable her to relax & enjoy her pregnancy, because I believe a happy, calm mother is better for baby than a scared, stressed & upset mum. Whatever you choose…it has to be right for you – only you can decide & remember, it’s only the start of your life as a mum so enjoy your pregnancy. Hope this helps xx Marion
  • A natural birth is a very empowering,amazing and beautiful experience ever! You have to believe in your body and the amazing things it can do (grow a baby e.g). Try calm birth classes to address any fears you have and you can learn ways to cope with labour/birth. I’m also a midwife and my experience with women who have just had a VBAC they are absolutely over the moon when they birth naturally and it’s beautiful to hear the words “I did it” . Talk to your midwife and go with what birth plan you feel comfortable with. Mellinda
  • We are born and made to give birth… i have had 3 natural births without any drugs … Listen to ur midwife throughout and all is good . They are the experts .. you will be fine Liz
  • Everyone is going to give you their opinion… I would do whatever YOU like. Unfortunately no one can give you the correct answer. I know people who have had terrible experiences both ways…. And also people with great natural births and c sections! Good luck – either way, you will get your baby! Stacey
  • I had an elective c section. It was really good . Yes you are sore for a week or so but you are with a natural birth too. Our baby came out perfectly healthy they put him straight onto my chest I will have an elective c section with my next one. Hanna

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  1. Kerrie says:

    I was one week over due and was put in to be induced. I had the gel on Monday night and the drop in by 8am Tuesday morning. By 8.20 I was have massive contractions every 90seconds. I was strapped to a bed as I was induced to monitor both the baby and myself. By midday I was not even 3cms dilated and got a epidural (best decision I made) I could still feel tension but no pain. By 6.30pm I was 4cms dilated and struggling, at this point my obstetrician called a emergency c-section. 24 hours after I had the gel put in I finally met our little girl. By the next morning (less than 12 hours after he surgery) I was walking and even showered myself. Next time I will go straight for a cesarean, I was really stressed through the whole indictment.

    The main thing to remember is its your labour, do what feels right for you and don’t let anyone tell you one way is better than the other. Everyone’s story is different and I have no regrets using pain relief and not having a natural birth.

  2. Bec says:

    I think you need to ask yourself what your so terrified of. Then, from there u can try and decide, maybe with the help of a midwife or obstetrician who isn’t one sided on the subject, where you want to go from there. For me, I was terrified of the pain, I don’t like it, I have no pain threshold and I don’t like not being in control. My birth plan consisted of me having an epidural, anything else I had full faith in my Obstetrician to make that call. Epidurals = best invention ever. No point in being in pain when u don’t have to be.
    There are risks and complications associated with both methods of delivery, try and do some research and decide what meets your needs the most. if it helps, I’m going back for round 2, there will be 17 months between my bubs, so it can’t be all that bad…right?

X