Baby Hints & Tips

Tantrums in a two year old

2 year old tantrumsMy 23month old has not had any tantrums yet, but has been sick last week & only better now. In the past two days, he’s had three tantrums which last about 10minutes of full on crying & uncontrollable sobbing. They’re started when he doesn’t get what he wants (like going to bed for a nap, or wanting to go to the park).. I have no idea what to do & nothing I do helps. I’ve tried to talk to him, walk away & ignore it. Just would love any advice please, thanks

  • My son has a quiet spot with a place to sit and books ect (in his room) .. When he is getting upset and can’t calm i tell him to go to his room until he is able to put a smile in his voice.. He isn’t in trouble but this does allow him to cool off and stop it from escalating.. He cries .. And yells but comes out and when I ask if he can speak with a smile in his voice he throws me the biggest cheekiest grin .. If he comes out and is still blubbering.. I just send him back.. It’s his space – he can take his time to calm down.. I believe it is teaching him to understand and control his emotions … Renee
  • Something that works for us is “Mr. Duck -Hand” It sounds ridiculous but I just make a duck with my hand and talk with a silly voice. It works better at preventing tantrums but Mr. Duck-Hand had been known to work wonders. Jessie
  • I have found when mine has a tanty is to ignore it and walk away and not feed the situation, if that fails I try something that will distract him from what he wants. Good luck. Mine is a little older than yours. Nic
  • Let him know that you understand that he is frustrated/angry/sad and that it’s okay to feel the way he does. At this age they’re discovering all their emotions but don’t have the skills or knowledge to properly express them or deal with them. Just give him the time he needs to calm down, count to 10 with him, give him an egg timer to watch to help him calm down, encourage him to take some deep breaths. Just remember it’s normal and the only thing you can do is let him know that it’s okay to feel the way he does and teach him coping skills. Tiffany
  • Sounds like he’s a bit tired, maybe still a bit unwell. I used to through my daughters blanket over her, that worked, not anymore though. If I go near her, she gets worse. So I let her go for a while, then try and distract her, or give her a cuddle. I think she just gets so frustrated, she just needs to wriggle it out. I move anything that’s in her way so she can’t hurt herself, and talk with a calming voice, saying it’s ok. Just wait for it to pass. My 14 mth old son had one a couple of weeks ago too, a bit early I thought! Just ride it out. Kate
  • My daughter is the same age and since being sick and getting over it is also chucking what I’m thinking terrible two tanty’s. No advice just know your not alone. Aimee
  • My lo sometimes would get all hysterical in her tangy esp if not well if distraction or telling her no for whatever the issue was etc didn’t work sometimes just give them cuddles to help them have a cry and get comfort. I think they get a little scared feeling out of control and have no way to stop themselves and you can’t reason with or discipline them until they have started thinking again. Then you can discuss it. But cuddles and saying things like were you upset or sad seems to help. Lorelle
  • He might still be feeling unwell which is why he is suddenly having tantrums. If ignoring it hasnt worked, try lots of love and cuddles to help him through his frustration… It may pass when he feels 100% again. Tamara
  • Sarah Ockwell- Smith – ‘Toddlercalm’. Great, respectful, far sighted and based on scientific evidence. Have a read of the posts on her web site to get an idea before you buy the book if you like. My boy has had a lot less sleep in the past little while from fighting naps and taking forever to fall asleep at night… He’s been throwing lots of tantrums and generally narky. Last two days managed to get on top of the sleep a bit more and he’s a lot calmer and cooperative. I know it sounds obvious but your boys behavior could just be worse because your boys been sick and is tired from fighting the illness. Maybe stay home as much as possible and do everything you can to get him to have as much sleep as possible for a few days if you’re not already doing that. Kathryn
  • I always found my kids are at their worst when they are tired. I would say he might not be quite over it? Rosalie
  • Remember they are normal part of development, don’t ignore them its your role as a parent to help him learn to regulate his emotions, how to handle his emotions…his brain is so young he can’t yet handle how he feels…great books are Pinky Mckay’s Toddler Tactics or these websites www.ahaparenting.com he needs connection or at this age distraction and cuddles…Natalie
  • Get use to it!!! Lol only joking!! I found that at that age my dd was having tantrums due to not being able to communicate what she wanted. I use to put her in her room until she was calm (checking on her every 5mins) then when she was calm I would sit and talk to her and explain why she was put in her room and go from there. You have to be consistent too – if you say your going to do something, then make sure you follow through. Also, pick your battles…there’s not point going through all that screaming for something silly like you want him to wear a red shirt but he wants a blue shirt. Make it clear you will not listen to crying/sooking etc and when your little one is calm you can discuss things good luck! Carmel

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