Throwing a baby shower? Who should put it on? Family? Friends? Or me??
When I was pregnant with my first, it wasn’t a matter of who should organise the baby shower, the decision was whether you should have one at all. My Mum wasn’t very keen on baby showers, and in turn I didn’t have one. I think she worried about celebrating the baby before it actually arrived safely in the world. She also didn’t like the idea of people feeling obligated to buy presents, especially when there is thought that gifts are given at the birth of the baby.
Things seem to be different nowadays. Which is strange because it seems like only yesterday that I had a newborn.
The question has now shifted to whether family or friends should put on the baby shower, or whether you should take the lead and organise it yourself.
1. Family and friends
Supporters of the ‘family or friends scenario’ focus on baby shower etiquette. It has been done this way in the past, and so the custom should continue. The present issue is also raised, with the thought that it comes across as a gift-grab if you have initiated and organised the event yourself.
2. Throwing your own baby shower
In contrast, those in favour of the ‘organise it yourself scenario’ say it is up to the individual and their own particular circumstances. They argue it isn’t self-indulgent because a baby shower is a celebration of the upcoming birth, and presents are just a part of the package.
A voice of reason on the topic of baby showers
Whilst there seems to be sensitivities around choosing one of these options, it shouldn’t really be a reason for anxiety or stress in your pregnancy.
If someone has the time to organise the baby shower for you, take them up on the offer. But remember to go with the flow in terms of appreciating that they are doing something kind and selfless – for example, don’t pout if the colour scheme is yellow, rather than purple or the food choices are not what you had hoped for.
If no-one puts up their hand, remember that life is incredibly busy these days. Whilst friends and family may wish to put on the event, reality will often intervene. This does not mean that no-one cares about you and baby.
If you want the event to run just the way you want then it really is important to be honest and take on the organisation yourself. This isn’t to say you can’t ask for help where you need it. By all means, ask a friend to cook that decadent chocolate brownie, the one you have been waking up at night thinking about. Get your Mum to give the house a quick vac before the guests arrive, or even spoil yourself and get a cleaner in.
As for my experience with baby showers (my friends surprised me with a baby shower for my second) it really is a lovely opportunity to catch-up with the people we hold dear and have a few laughs together.