Baby Hints & Tips

Abortion Pill

abortion-pillI’ve just found out I’m pregnant with our second child and discussed with my dr today possibly terminating the pregnancy as I only had my first child 6months ago and financially, physically and emotionally my partner and I are not ready for another baby, my dr mentioned a pill known as the abortion pill has anyone used this? Or has anyone been in a similar situation as we are in? Just after some advice as I’m a little nervous and unsure of what to do.

**Please only offer helpful, supportive, non-judgmental comments that answer this specific question. Any comments that do not fit this criteria will be deleted.

Considering abortion 

  • I got pregnant really young and at first I was over the moon, I was happy and excited to me a Mum. But when I told my partner he wasn’t happy at all, he said we cant do this straight away. We don’t have a house we don’t have enough money we need to have an abortion he said. I was shocked, I thought he would be happy about it but he wasn’t obviously. But what he said was true, we were just getting by with us and we didn’t have anything that would help us, financially we were crewed. After a lot of arguments and sleepless night I gave in to his its me or the baby option and chose him. (Let me just say he made many broken promises that swayed me to say yes) I got the abortion and I tell you now I regret everything. I didn’t even consider any other options, I didn’t even consider myself. All I really thought of was finances and in his word’s (were just aren’t prepared.) So my advice to you is please don’t. I know finances are tough and its a hard road ahead but please don’t. If you find it hard please consider adoption, you can choose to have an open adoption if you wish. But please don’t make the same mistake as I did, no councilor or pleading will take the guilt the darkness and the pain away. Please learn from my mistake and let your baby live. Allow yourself to love them, even if you do choose adoption. I’m not saying this to offend you at all but please don’t hurt your future wellbeing or the future of your baby. If I could take it back I would, and I don’t want anybody to go through the same emotional and physical pain that I went through. Your choice is your own but I just had to share what it feels like after you do it, after you realise there is no going back. Lily
  • Hi my husband were in the same situation! We ended up terminating it was an extremely hard thing to do but in the end it wasn’t fair to bring another child into the world when it wasn’t the right situation (emotionally physically mentally) now were are expecting bub #2 (planned one) hope this helps Also termination wasn’t with the pill either, and having 2 friends and an aunty that can’t have children made it incredibly hard aswell best wishes Carissa
  • Have a surgical termination, it is a very simple procedure that takes minutes, although you will need the whole day as is done under anaesthesia. Recovery time is quick you just need to take it easy for a few days after and it should be just like a normal to heavy period, although sometimes can get some stomach cramps along with it, they will also give a course of antibiotics to prevent any infection. I would definitely not take some pill that forces a miscarriage. Crys81
  • Hi, I just wanted to say I’m looking into adoption at the moment and would hate to hear people would look into termination without at least first considering seeing it through and adopting out to one of the many on the waiting list. Rachael
  • My advice would be to speak to a counsellor and really weigh everything up I would also do your research on the pill. Go and speak to an abortion clinic aswell (ask them about the pill too). No matter the decision you make at least if u do all these things u will no without doubt ur choice is what’s best for u and ur family. Don’t doubt that u can’t do it tho. U are only given what you can handle. Best of luck Mia
  • I was pregnant with twins, miscarried lost one doc recommended terminating the other due to medical reasons.. I took the abortion pill ended up in hospital the second one finally came out it was the most horrible experience and painful ended up needed a curet because not everything came out! After that 3 months later I fell pregnant and miscarried, pregnant again miscarried again miscarried mind you I have a perfectly healthy 5 yr old! Doctor said he was confident it was from the abortion pill and said it was still a fairly new procedure and he didn’t think enough study was done.. A few years later I’m finally pregnant and giving birth next month… If you really must have an abortion don’t take the pill… Think it through properly I felt I was punished for having an abortion even though I had a medical reason I wish I never did it xx Y
  • I can’t give you any advice on the pill or abortion in general but I can tell you what my experience has been with my two girls being 16 months apart. We didn’t plan our youngest, and it was certainly a bit of a shock. The pregnancy was hard as I had severe pelvic pain from around 5 months onwards so walking, picking up our eldest and other little tasks became painful. We were also in the process of moving states and as my husband was working full time 70+ hours a week, I basically had to pack, clean and do everything else myself. I was very lucky in that I had a very easy and fairly quick labour. Since the birth we’ve had some major struggles with sleep. Our oldest started waking up several times a night and from about 2 months our youngest was waking every hour during the night. Our oldest is back to normal now and our youngest has just turned 6 1/2 months and we’re slowly starting to progress forward, with her sleeping 2-4 hour blocks at night. But despite our struggles – financial, emotional and physical – I would not change a single thing when I see my daughter smile, laugh, try to learn how to crawl. She is the most amazing, beautiful little girl and has been such a blessing to us. She adores her big sister and her big sister adores her. They’re already best friends. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, know that you will struggle, but you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. There are plenty of people out there in similar situations who can offer support, and the thing you need to remember is that it will get better, you will get through it and you are truly blessed. All the best with your decision. Amanda
  • Have heard this pill isn’t always a success. It’s a hard decision to make I don’t envy you being in this position :( just be aware that the success rate of terminating a pregnancy with this pill isn’t 100% Alison
  • Hi beautiful mum. Do not feel bad about this. When our number 2 was only 4.5 months old i found out i was pregnant again. As we are religious abortion wasn’t even considered. If i had of known how much pain that pregnancy was going to be and how much it physically would destroy me i would of reconsidered. And if i had of fallen pregnant again with a 4th within the first 12 months of my 3rd it would of definitely been considered as i would of been on bed/couch rest from the beginning and most likely in a wheel chair. I am sorry you need to consider this but please what ever you descide dont feel bad. I have had a miscarriage after our 1st and it does effect you emotionally very strongly that is another thing to consider. If it helps at all i love my surprise if not a bit rushed to join us bubs and do not feel anything but complete joy in watching him grow. Yes it is hard having 2 boys being only 13 months apart and you have to get double of everything but found we where a bit more savy this time round. Cot from ikea as it was only $89 and car seats we got the convertible that do up to age 7 so saving money in long run. And i also found with food and stuff it didn’t make much difference if anything just helped me not to reach the ‘use in three weeks’ guidelines on the formula and 3rd is a human garbage can eating his brother and sisters left overs. Good luck my thoughts and prayers (if that is ok) is with you and your family. Ruth
  • Hi there! I found myself in your same situation when I was 18. My son was 3 months old when I got pregnant. They are 13 months apart. Honestly, I was scared, knew it would be hard, but I couldn’t help but think of what type of life I would be taking away from that little baby if I terminated. When they are so close in age it’s almost like having twins, they help each other, they play together, and honestly, I don’t think they can imagine life without each other. They are best friends. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I guess if worse comes to worse, there is always adoption. I just feel there are many deserving parents who can’t have kids, if you truly don’t want this child, give it away. Kayla
  • I found out I was pregnant when my first baby was 6 months also, so my son and daughter have 14 months between them and I absolutely love it. BUT then when my second was 10 months old I found out I was pregnant again and this time I considered abortion and adoption, but I decided to wait and see how things went, as I’ve had 2 miscarriages also. I could not connect with this baby at all even after a scan at 8 weeks I was absolutely terrified. At 9 weeks I had a bleed and thought I was definitely miscarrying again, the next day I had another scan and cried with happiness when I saw the little bean swimming around. Since then I’ve been so attached to my baby, and yeah it’s going to be really hard work having three kids under 2 years and 8 months, but it’ll be worth it. If you are 100% sure that you and your partner do not want another baby, then sure get an abortion, but make sure you’re 100% and not 99%, because you don’t want to regret it later. By some of the other comments it sounds like the pill isn’t very nice, but you’ve got some great suggestions already and I just wanted to share my own experience. Whichever direction you take, be strong and you’ll get through it, big hugs and good luck xx Elle
  • It’s a double blessing and can be done, don’t give up on this baby. My eldest is in year four and his sister is in year three, what a great friendship they have, not only brother and sister but best mates too. Your capacity for love doesn’t get halved it doubles, sure it won’t be easy at times, but babies aren’t easy no matter how close or far apart they are. Grab this and have this little blessing. Good luck xo Vanessa
  • Personally I couldnt ever have an abortion unless for medical reasons. My 2 are 16months apart & i absolutely love the age gap. They are much easier close together as they entertain each other. Some of my friends waited (2-3 yrs between them) & the older one is so much more work whilst your trying to look after a baby. (Runs away etc). The way I look at it (which is harsh i know) but u dont want to regret your desicion. Would you kill your 6month old? Coz that tiny bean will 1 day be your 6month old, then starting school, then graduating & getting married.. And if you look at abortion videos you will c how cruel they can be done. I honestly dont know how we survived financially through our 2 children but we have. Family tax benifit helped alot! & support from family & friends was good. You can eat some amazing meals for really cheap espec if u live in a city. I was faced with an abortion at 20wks for medical reasons & it was the most tramatising experience ever. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Sorry to be so blunt but i think living with regret for making the wrong decision because of not knowing all options would be horrible. Hope you make the right decision for you. Ps im pregnant with my 3rd so will have 3 kids 3yrs & under Rach
  • Please, please, please don’t do it. There are so many families like me that are heart-broken because they can’t have children, and would do anything to have that little person growing inside them. If you don’t feel you can keep the baby, then carry it to full term and give it up for adoption. It’s not just your body. It’s your baby’s body you’re talking about too. Not just one life you are cutting short, but all the lives that life could have impacted on. A husband stolen from someone. A workmate. A father. That little person inside you is only a baby now, but they will grow up. It’s okay if you can’t keep them, but please, please don’t kill them because of that. Sarah
  • My only advice is to make sure that there is no part of you that wants this child. Anything short of that, you could regret the decision & not forgive yourself. Be 100% at peace with your choice BEFORE you do anything you can’t undo. Also.. There’s 13 months between my brother and I. My mum left my dad when my brother was 1 & was alone until we were 6 & 7. She said it was the hardest thing she’s ever done.. But SO worth it. We were, and still are best friends. Sammie
  • First of, I would like to say good on you for having the strength to recognise you are not in a position to have another child and my heart goes out to you for facing what will most likely be one of the most difficult decisions in your life. I had a termination after my first born… I fell pregnant by accident three months after him. I too was not in ANY position to bring another child into the world. Funnily enough, I was always one of those people who said ‘oh, I could never have an abortion… It’s not right’ but…. When you are facing that decision…. It’s not about what is right or wrong… It is about what is right for YOU, YOUR FAMILY and YOUR LIFE. I didn’t use the abortion pill, I went to a clinic for a proper termination. It was scary but it was very professional … First off I was seen by a psychiatrist who made sure I was of sound mind before undergoing the procedure, then another doctor performed an ultrasound to determine at what stage of the pregnancy I was at. It was VERY different from my other pregnancies where you get to see the baby on a big screen etc…. This was done very fast and there was no screen for me to see, only a computer monitor that the doctor saw facing away from me. Next I went through a door and walked into an operating theatre. I climber up onto the bed, the doctors and nursing staff introduced themselves and then they put me to sleep and I woke up in recovery. The hold ‘process’ took about 15 minutes. I have since found a new partner and now we have two more children together. Sure, sometimes my mind plays the ‘what if’ game and I wonder if I had gone through with the pregnancy would it have been a boy or girl? What would he/she be like now? It crosses my mind occasionally but i know FOR ME, it was the RIGHT decision. Good luck sweetheart xx Kmb
  • I have used the pill before. I would recommend taking the pain medication provided prior to taking the pill and sitting in a hot shower…. It is painful..however bearable and the pain only lasted a couple of hours. It’s a bit of an emotional roller coaster too on the day so maybe best to get your child minded for the weekend so you can rest. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. If you are certain that this is what you want to do then guilt shouldn’t be a factor to be worried about. I wish you all the best! X. Anon
  • The thing that sticks in my mind is this: What if, for some or any (bizarre) reason, you were unable to conceive again after you aborted. Would this haunt you for the rest of your days? I am most definitely NOT saying abortions causes infertility, but you never know what a chemical can do to your body. And you never know what your body will do, regardless. I’m praying you make the right decision for you- as much as we can offer opinions, it’s YOUR choice. Kerryn
  • you need to make sure that both your partner and you are 100% on the same page, if you go ahead and one of you has even the tiniest bit of doubt, the what-ifs will eat at your relationship. It’s a tough one and while it wouldn’t personally be an option for me, I hope you are at peace with your decision, whatever it may be. Zarna
  • My friend recently took that pill you are talking about, she was about 5.5 weeks, she said it was horrible. She said to me “what have I done” Best of luck whatever you choose xx Hannah
  • A few years back I found out I was pregnant with my 5th baby, I was struggling with deep depression and my husband worked away, and my psych suggested an abortion. I went home and looked up all the pros and cons and when I saw the pictures and read what the baby was up to I found I could not do it, this was a little life inside me and for some reason I had been given this chance of being a Mum again. My eldest is 14 and my youngest is now 5, and I managed, it was bloody tough, but I am so happy I have my little boy, he completed our family. Don’t do it if you have doubts or if it is just about money, money is important, but all kids need is love and a home, the rest somehow works out. Tennille
  • I wouldn’t recommend the pill to anyone. It was an absolute horrid experience which I feel has left me somewhat mentally scarred. In my thoughts I refer to the pain it caused physically because it was just that… physically painful. After going through such a simple procedure and walking out thinking I was using the right method, it turned into 7 hours of hell and then to top it off half was left inside and ended up being surgically removed anyway. Whatever your choice – I wouldn’t suggest the pill. Em
  • I was in your situation not too long ago. It is so hard and no one understands until you are in that position. I have a 15 month old son and I was just getting ready to go back into work when I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. My husband and I seriously considered termination however have decided to continue with the pregnancy. We had always planned on having a second baby, however, not at the time I fell pregnant. I have a history of miscarriage and wouldn’t forgive myself if we wanted another child and for some reason could not fall pregnant and have another. Do not feel guilty for how you are feeling as from all of the comments, it is very normal and only you know what is right for you and your family. If you do continue with the pregnancy I am sure that with love and support you will make things work. Best wishes to you xxxxx Monica
  • I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It sounds like you have already done a lot of thinking. I probably shouldn’t have responded as I don’t have experience with the abortion pill but I have had one termination as well as two successful pregnancies and numerous miscarriages (due to an auto-immune disease). Each loss has stayed with me. My termination was decided by medical advice but more as a result of pressure from family. I was 22, at college, boarding with my much older sister & her family, and newly datong my husband. The baby was conceived while I was on “warfarin” which can cross the placenta and cause deformities. My sister threatened to kick me out – I had no family in Sydney besides her so that swayed me more than the medical advice. My husband allowed me to decide but I think he would have supported whichever decision I made. Your decision won’t come easily but I think you need to decide what is best for you. Please don’t undervalue your mental health or underestimate the impact that a sense of overwhelming can have on your ability to parent your 6 month old. You know what it’s like to have a newborn, what support network you have, how supportive your partner is. If you decide to terminate, I think it will probably be really hard at first, but I also think you are making the decision for the right reasons. Good luck and please be kind to yourself. Richelle
  • i found my self in a similar situation in march i did get a termination but i will give u the advice my doctor gave me, the abortion pill causes natural abortion which can be highly traumatic wnd you arent necessarily guaranteed to pass all the matter, which means you will also potentially need a dd&c I had a medical termination,at 8 weeks 5 days. under twilight sedation. I honestly would suggest if you do decide to get one that you consider the medical route. I had very minimal pain and bleeding. Good luck Bec
  • I had a similar situation falling pregnant with a child well before my husband and I were ready on all levels. It was a really tough decision and I still think about the baby we never had. I don’t regret the decision (it was right for us at the time) but just be sure that it’s right for you too. I ended up choosing the surgical procedure just based on the time frames we were told (a longer bleed/down time with pill vs surg.) good luck with your decision, wishing you all the best. Anon
  • I just want to start by saying I am pro choice. I do however think it is wrong to use abortion as a contraceptive. Of course you need to do what is right for your family but consider the possibility that if you abort this child there is always a possibility you may not fall pregnant again, would you be ok If that was the case or feel regret. I have a 7 month old and would struggle if we got pregnant but given that it took 1 vasectomy reversal, 1 iui, 3 ivf cycles and 2 1/2 years to get my bub I would never consider termination if this was to happen. Please think very carefully about your decision, good luck with whatever you decide. Peta
  • Everything happens for a reason. You wouldn’t have fallen pregnant if it wasn’t meant to be. Think in a few years you will have two beautiful children, and all the hard work will definitely be worth it. Don’t give up! Stay positive! Good luck x Kirsty
  • Mum should do what is right for her. Sometimes these things happen and if your not ready for a baby or arnt in a very good position to have one it is best to wait until you are. I have never had an abortion and have two beautiful girls but if I was to fall pregnant again my partner and I have decided that we don’t want anymore kids therefore get a termination. We take all the precautions but if it were to happen. Just remember it’s your body, your life and u need to do what is best for you. Don’t let anyone make u feel bad if you choose to terminate. Hope this helps you make the right decision for you. Lauren
  • Almost a week ago i found out i was pregnant again with my second baby.. My little girl is 6 months on the 11/06.. My husband is kind of in between work at the moment but at this stage we manage and arent too worried about bub number 2 coming along. Your desision is a tough one and is something you and your partner need to decide without judgement.. Have you also thought of the other options? Like adoption etc.. This is something that is going to need a lot of thought.. If you have any doubts about terminating your pregancy please consider other options.. All the best… Kylie
  • I had the chemical abortion or “abortion pill” when I miscarried at 6 weeks. While it is definitely not the same situation, the pill worked in the same way as I hadn’t spotted or passed blood prior. I took the pill on the Thursday night and on Friday morning I started passing blood. It wasn’t any heavier than a normal period and dropped off and ended about 10 days later. There was sac that came out as well but it was small and it went straight into the toilet so I never saw it. As you are a bit further along i am not sure how much different it will be. In terms of the decision. You must do what is right for you and your family. Only you can make the decision. There will always be those against it but that’s life. The people who matter most will support you. Lill
  • hi sweety.While I cannot comment on either method I can say whatever decision you make will be the right one.If you want to look at a pregnancy clinically,in the early stages it is a group of cells.Not technically a baby.Whether that helps or not I don’t know.I wish you all the best and please whatever you decide do not feel guilty.lots of love and hugs. Kerry
  • The fact that you say you’re nervious makes me wonder if you are 100% convinced that this is the right option for you??? I understand this is a very difficult decission to make but please consider that your older child will be 15 months and more independent than currently and financially you already have everything you need, and usually people have a way of coping even though they thought they wouldn’t be able to. Bottom line, please be 100% convinced that this the right choice for you ( and only you can decide that) because otherwise you will have a lifetime of regrets. Good luck with whatever you decide x Jacinta
  • I’ve been in almost exactly the same situation. After a horrid pregnancy with my first and a labour that left me with a lot of physical damage, and postnatal depression, I discovered that I was pregnant again when my son was 10 months old. I knew I couldn’t cope with another baby and that continuing with the pregnancy would see me harm or kill myself. I terminated. The pill was something I looked into but it’s actually the harder of the two options as it forces you into ‘labour’ so you miscarry. In the end I opted to terminate surgically. It only took a few hours and it was over.and I was back to normal activities within 24 hours. I really struggled for months afterward, emotionally as I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I saw a counsellor who had her own agenda and didn’t help. In the end I discovered a counsellor who specializes in post abortion grief and now, just over a year later I’m doing much better with coping with and accepting that I did what I did because I needed to. Big hugs to you my sweet. It’s a tough road to walk down. I’m thinking of you. Anon
  • I have used the abortion pill after finding out bubs had no heart beat. I was only 9 weeks along but it was painful and very messy. I had to sit on the toilet for a long time during the worst of the bleeding including dilating enough to pass sac. Make you you have strong pain killers to go with it. Personally I would choose a D&C. With the pill there’s no guarantee it will all come out properly so you could end up needing a D&C anyway. As everyone has said – only you know what is right for you at the time. You don’t want to regret terminating a life, esp if you can’t fall pregnant again in the future. At the same time you need to be comfortable you won’t regret or resent having the 2nd child. My SIL contemplated termination when she fell pregnant with her 2nd child, 6 months after the first. Her reason for not terminating was ‘later on in life, how could I tell my son he missed out on a brother because I chose to kill him?’.  Carolyn
  • I had a friend who fell pregnant unexpectedly and was seriously considering abortion but changed her mind at the last minute… She went on to give birth to beautiful twin boys. A few years later after trying and trying for another baby, she was told that she couldn’t have any more children. (I’m not sure what the actual problem was, she never went into it) Her boys are almost teenagers now and she counts her lucky stars every day that she made the decision she did because she may not have any children at all which she would regret for the rest of her life. Anyway, not trying to put a guilt trip, just saying whatever decision you make, be sure you have thought about every possible scenario so your decision will never be a regret later. Good luck to you and your little family ♡ xoxo Shelly
  • Hi, my husband and I went through this about a month and a half ago. I have a 3 year old and a 15 month old and when I fell pregnant I was just coming off breast feeding and changing from mini pill to normal pill so it was totally unexpected. We had only ever wanted 2 children. We thought financially we could not support another child, not necessarily now but more in the later years as my husband is 8 years older than myself. We decided to have an abortion. I had the surgery as the place I went to didn’t offer the pill. I had to speak to a counsellor before the procedure and I don’t think they really aim at changing your mind. I’m not depressed or anything but I know come the time it was supposed to be born there will probably be regrets there but I know we did it for the best of our family. We have not told anyone about it either. Minnie
  • I have used the pill. Basically you go to a clinic, they give you one pill then and there, then they give you four pills to take home. When you get home you put the four pills above your gums to sit there and dissolve. Once they’re dissolved it will kick off the process. You’ll start bleeding within about 20mins. There is a lot of blood and cramping. Nothing a panadol and heat pack can’t help though. It’s not as bad as some of these ppl are making it out to be. Anon
  • It’s your body and your decision. My best friend was in your exact situation and chose to terminate. She doesn’t regret it x J
  • Me personally would never choose an abortion (unless fora severe medical condition and I’d do my research first) But this isn’t about me or any other people commenting this is about you I belive we all have the right to choose… So think long and hard and speak to your partner and then decide if it truly is the right options for you… If you do choose to keep this baby remember you will find a way to cope everybody does and every bodies way to cope is different Just remember once you have terminated this pregnancy (if you choose to) there is no turning back just make sure it’s the right decision for your family Sending love and well wishes Caity
  • I was in a similar situation. I fell pregnant 3 months after having my son. I knew I couldn’t handle 2 under one so I made the decision to have an abortion! For me ans my husband it was the right thing. I didn’t feel guilty about it as I knew we had made the right choice. You have to be 100% sure that this is what you eant and need to do. If there is even the slightest thought in your head it’s not right then you will more than likely regret doing it. 3 months after I had that abortion I fell pregnant with my daughter. My son and daughter are 15 months apart and I love the close gap. There are absolutely benefit s to having them close. But do what you feel you need to do. Cause at the end of the day your the one who has to be ok with your decision. All the best and good luck. Annalise
  • I’ve looked into this. When I fell pregnant with both of my kids, I had to seriously question my ability to provide for these babies. Marie Stopes in Brisbane offered the surgical method or the chemical method which was the abortion drug. It’s not something you go into lightly. Both methods require counselling sessions prior and you still experience the emotional loss. I don’t know anyone who has had a termination that hasn’t had to deal with some form of grief afterwards. I have never had a termination, but I did explore all options which we are all free to do. My suggestion is to speak to a counsellor, speak to your partner and really look at your situation. If you choose to go ahead, you can still change your mind right up to the point where you actually take the tablet. Good luck, I wish you all the best Sallie
  • I used it when I was younger for a just in case measure prob wasn’t pregnant but knew I didn’t want to be so got it and it was horrible only in the sense that it made feel as sick as a dog but I have heard that it is different these days. The only prob with having an abortion when you are having doubts about it being the right thing is that when you do find yourself in a position for another child the guilt can be terrible but it is something that will pass I am speaking from experience and I do think about it from time to time but its not quite as painful for me anymore and if im realistic I know I did what was best for me. The pros and cons of it I guess is that a vtop is surgery and taking the pill isn’t but a vtop will take care of it but im unsure as to the reliability of the pill.. Im all for it if its what YOU want and you dont need to explain your reasons to anyone and I wouldn’t take into account what god wants unless you are religious because god doesn’t pay your bills Anon
  • Whatever you and your husband decide is up to you and no one else. There is 14.5 months between my first and second child (had two more after that and a miscarriage), and at the time we were struggling financially, that was 42 years ago and we did survive, I have two beautiful grandchildren from my second child. As I said before you and your husband must decide what is best for you both. My love and best wishes to you both.xx Denise-Ann
  • I fell pregnant with #3 3 months after my son was born and it was the very first night I had stopped bleeding. I knew the second I fell pregnant and I considered abortion. I went through a range of emotions and booked in for a d&c. I couldn’t go through with it, we were financially unable to have number 3, I wasn’t emotionally ready and I was petrified. I fell into a deep deep depression and wanted to kill myself, as the thoughts of me killing my baby growing inside was to much for me. Hubby and I spoke and we agreed that this baby was on its way for a reason. So we cancelled the d&c and continued on. At 14 weeks I had a miscarriage, I was relieved but still upset. I got the rod and pill (pill to teach my body a regular cycle) 18 days after my miscarriage before I finished bleeding so no more accidents could happen again. 2 of my friends have had abortions. 1 went into a deep depression and had to be admitted to a mental health hospital for her safety, she received counselling and all the help she needed to come through it. It took her a while but she can cope better now although she still does have her down days, that was a few years ago and she has recently had another baby. My other friend fell pregnant with her second when her son was only 6 weeks old, she had an abortion and coped quite well. She went on the pill and her partner wore condoms every time and she still became pregnant when her son was only 8 months. Her and her partner decided well this is the second time it must be meant to come whether we are ready or not. So they continued on with the pregnancy. Carry on 9 years down the track my friend had another baby, absolutely delighted, bub came 9 weeks early and was thriving. When bub turned 11 weeks she suddenly grew her wings. My friend blamed herself for her daughters death because it was punishment for having an abortion almost a decade ago. It ripped the core out and she turned to alcoholism to over come the pain. Thankfully through lots of support and counselling she escaped the alcoholism before it was too late and fell pregnant again with another daughter. When it comes to an abortion it’s not a quick fix solution. Either road you choose will be rough but it’s completely up to you. Both abortions were done via a d&c not the pill. Erin
  • Is a big decision . That only you can make and every one had their own reason. I know with the abortion pill you have to take it during a certain period of time. I think if your mind is made up then it is the best and least invasive option,as long as you discuss with your gp all of your medical conditions or medications or weather it affects breastfeeding if you are. . Best wishes you will do what you feel is best for your family every one does x Kristine
  • Firstly… sorry your having to contemplate this decision. I’m against abortion but wanted to share a story… A good family friend of mine had an abortion after having two beautiful girls as it was very unexpected (they only wanted 2 children). She is now in her mid 40s & to this day regrets it & is very depressed because of her decision. She has even fallen into gambling. I understand money is tight (it is for most people these days) but you can live to your means. In saying that you don’t want to bring a baby into the world if you can’t support him/her. Maybe you could consider adoption? I know many woman who would love a chance at being a mother, you could make a dream come true. All the best. Jodie
  • If you are in Melbourne contact ‘the babes project’ They are a crisis pregnancy support and offer counselling (I think it’s free) and can support you during your pregnancy or post abortion should you choose that. Roxy
  • Whatever decision you make, make it with no regrets. Xxxx it’s only a decision to can make. Fiona
  • It is a tough decision to make but you have to realise that whatever decision you make you have to live with for the rest of your life. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant but April this year I had an abortion, it wasn’t what I wanted, infact my ex partner sort of forced me into it. I hate myself for not standing up for what I believe in or telling him it was my decision to make. So just make sure that the decision is your OWN and no one else’s because if it’s not what YOU want you will end up regretting it. Best of luck! And go with your instincts! Chelsea
  • I have had an abortion in the clinic so I’m not sure about how the pill works or the effects. I do know though that you are thinking about this for all the right reasons, emotionally, financially, physically. I believe you know the answer to what you want to do and only you and your partner can make that decision. Don’t listen to people telling you that they were in te same boat but things have worked out fine because every bodies situation is completely different. I feel don’t bring a child into the world if you are completely not ready for it. All the best Hun. xx Kiki
  • I was also considering the pill option however was not completely comfortable with having to deal with at home. I opted to go into a clinic & I am so glad I did. They were very professional, the procedure itself was over very quickly & I recovered very well. I also have a young child & I know I made the right decision as I had quite a bit going on in my life at the time. My advice, go with your instincts. Only you know what’s right for you. You need to be 100% sure as you don’t want any regrets. All the best. Maree
  • Hi sweetie. You must be so terrified. My husband’s aunt found out they she was pregnant with her third when her second was 3 months old. It is not my place to judge you or tell you what to do, however financially, I see where you ate coming through as I would be in the same situation. Personally, I would not contemplate a termination because I believe that God only sends you what you can handle. But it is your choice. The only thing I would say is think very carefully about this as this decision is irreversible. Also if you are not too far along, you could possibly wait till closer to the last possible termination day because there is still the possibility of a miscarriage. Whatever you decide, you have my support and you can email me anytime you want someone to talk to. Regine
  • When I had my 3rd child, a very sick and exhausting 3rd child, I had 3 under the age of three. When she was two months old, I had every symptom of being pregnant again and I was horrified, mortified, terrified. I had a really good friend who couldn’t have any more children, and so I talked to her and said I was happy to go through the pregnancy, but the child would be hers. It was just a matter of sheer dumb luck that I wasn’t pregnant, and the RELIEF was huge (much as my friend was sad). I personally am not a fan of abortion unless there is a medical reason, however, I believe everything happens for a reason (even though that reason may be obtusely vague at the time) have you considered adoption? There are SO many potential mamma’s out there that would give their right arm for a baby. Talk to a social worker if you can and get information. Don’t be too hasty.  Angel
  • Can you do a dnc? I had to terminate a failed pregnancy about 9 weeks ago and my experience with the pills was awful and wouldn’t recommend it at all. However apparently everyone is different. Also if you do use the pills make sure you get the strongest pain killers they will give you cause you will more than likely need them. Kelly
  • I’ve used the pill before. I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s no cheaper, if anything more expensive than a regular abortion. It kills off the fetus and brings on a miscarriage. It was the most painful experience of my life (and even since then I’ve been through a labour). If you really don’t think you are ready for this baby I recommend just going through being put under and having it taken out. It’s never an easy decision to make to give up a baby. I hope you work out what will be best for your family Anon
  • I can’t comment on the pill, or medical termination as they call if, but I did have a surgical termination at a clinic. It was okay, you don’t feel anything physically and it’s all over in half an hour. Once you wake up, you’re a bit tired and crampy. Even though it was a hard decision and some people might say invasive, IMO so much better than consciously taking a pill and waiting for it to come out. Do what is best for you and hopefully your partner supports that. X Nicola
  • My 2 are 15 months apart, and I am now pregnant with a surprise 3rd. From someone who has had a termination take it from me: if everyone waited for the right time to have kids no one would have them and you’ll never regret the children you have. Only the ones you don’t. Helena
  • When I found out I was pregnant with number 4 it took a lot of soul searching. ..I kept thinking of all the problems and financial hardship and I still have days when I think”can I do this”? My husband was more comfortable with the decision of keeping her and becoming a father for the fourth time much quicker than I did and he never had those second guessing himself days. .. We did what was best for us and you have to do the same for you and your family. .. It is a hard decision but once you make it just know that it is the right decision for you. .. even on those days that you second guess yourself. … I found out I was pregnant with my third when my second was 6 months old and I must admit it was easier than I what thought. … he was a great help and there is hardly any jealousy between them …in fact I find it easier than the 4 year age difference between my first and second. .. Look at all your options and go from there… Sending hugs… Anon
  • My first was 4 mths when I discovered we were pregnant with number 2. I cried and was upset about being pregnant until around 20 wks. Did tell people until 16 wks as I was afraid what people would say and didn’t want it to be real. My son was born early just before his sister’s first birthday. It was tough but I wouldn’t give up my little man for the world. They are almost 3 and 4 now and almost like twins in how close they are I wouldn’t be upset to have a small gap again. Since then we have had two more babies. Our baby girl was born and passed at 36wks and our little boy is now almost four months. I would give almost anything to be given the opportunity for our little girl to grow up with our family. Chantelle
  • Love it’s your body …… If you and hubby know you can’t cope it is the best thing to do… Liddycoat
  • I can only imagine all your confusion at the moment. But please have you considered for just a moment that maybe you are pregnant again because there is a reason for it. You may not feel ready for all of it at present stage but in due time all will fall into place as it always does. The benefits for your bub having a sibling at such a young age is so good at the end of the day for both of them. All I am asking is for you to really sit and think about the positive this new precious little miracle inside you will bring your family at the end of the day. Forget all the negative just for a while and think of the love and blessing. Good luck my friend and I hope that you will keep your precious gift and that you will all find joy and peace together. Cornelia
  • I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my 2nd (my first will be 18 months when this baby will come) I was at the doctors planning an abortion for the same reasons.. However, I had an abortion 4 years ago simply because I was not ready for a child.. That has haunted me everyday and I think about it all the time ‘what if?’ I decided to go ahead with my current pregnancy due to the fact that I love my son so much and not for a second have I ever regretted him, the termination I regret. I decided I’d make it work and here I am 20 weeks due with another beautiful son! It’s a personal choice obviously and I have been on all sides! I’m not sure how far along you are but just have a really hard think about what you want! It’s a hard situation but we are lucky enough to be able to fall pregnant. Good luck + I’ll be thinking of you at this hard time. Anon
  • I fell pregnant with my first unexpectedly and was considering abortion.i now have a 2 year old girl.the reason I couldn’t abort was because I asked myself would i regret it? And the answer was yes.I guess you’ve got to ask yourself that question.I also fell pregnant with my second and miscarried at 8 weeks and had to have a few and c.I got offered the pill but couldn’t stand the thought of seeing it i Would definitely recommend the d and c over the pill. Jess
  • Don’t have an opinion for or against, but thought I would let you know that my two are 10months apart. Neither of us was ready for a second (but we found out at 22 weeks) physically, mentally or emotionally. A had pe and in icu before and after #1, and husband was terrified of that experience again (ended with pe again), and I so wasn’t ready for a second person to be fully depent on me . Saying the last year has been hard is an understatement (ended up with pnd), but #2 is part of our family. In our case it isn’t that he wasn’t wanted, but neither of was ready. Anon
  • I had the medication abortion at right on 9 weeks. It didn’t get everything out (higher success rate when less weeks I was right on the limit). So I ended up having to go under to get remaining tissue out surgically. The medication abortion consists of two types of pills, first you swallow one which stops any further growth. You cannot change your mind after this one. The next one you wet tablets and dissolve them in your mouth which causes your uterus to expel the contents. You have to continue these tablets for a day or two to ensure it works. If you go for this option you may see something in your pad or toilet that is recognisable as a fetus. Even if you dont look when cleaning up… you can still know because I felt it pass out on the toilet. Less chance of this if you are less weeks though. If you do take your time to decide keep this in mind as well as the fact that you must be 9 wks or under to have the medication abortion. You also still need someone to drive you home after getting the dissolvable tablets so its not necessarily more convenient. Smile
  • The pill is effectively the same as having a miscarriage. It will all happen at home and can be painful and also extremely emotional. I am not sure if your doctor told you but the pill can also take up to a week for it be fully complete depending on how far along you are when taking it and how your body reacts to it. If you don’t think you would be strong enough to go through it that way I would suggest going the medical route. Good Luck darling with what ever way you choose to have it done and please remember no matter what choice you and your partner have decided is best for you both you are still allowed to feel sad and seek any help you might need xxxx Kara
  • I was in a similar situation….found out I was pregnant with #3 when #2 was only 5 months. As we needed fertility treatment to even fall pregnant with #2 I felt extremely guilty that I didn’t want #3. It wasn’t in our family plan & i knew it would stretch us financially. Although we have decided to keep it (4 weeks off arrival) I don’t feel any excitement about this baby’s arrival. I know I should be grateful but I just don’t feel it. People say I will change my mind when it arrives. We have put things in place along the way to ease the burden… I’m just taking things day by day…. Either way u decide to go, I really believe u have to do what is best for u guys as a family. This is a commitment for life & by far one of the most difficult decisions u will make. There is support out there for both now & later. Make sure u use it. In the end u have to live with either decision & its ur choice to make. Remember that others have been there too… Kirstene
  • I was in the exact same position my baby was 6 months when I fell pregnant with my second I chose to have an abortion as I was quite young and 1 baby was hard enough for me I believe it was the best decision as im now in a much healthier happier relationship and am trying for our 4th child now and we are excited to be trying esp now that we are older and more financially stable. I have never had the abortion pill I had an actual abortion which was very invasive and quite terrifying I wish the abortion pill was available back then. Only you and your husband know whats right for your family and im guessing your only a few weeks along so rhe fetus is extremely tiny and has no attributes of an actual baby yet just enjoy your 6 month old for now :) good luck and I do hope you dont get any negativity x Rachael
  • I hope this can help you. I had a termination at 16 years old, to the father of my eldest child. It was a hard decision to make yet I knew I could not provide a proper life for that bubs. I hadn’t graduated high school, had no money and was living with my parent. I had the procedure (we don’t use the abortion pill in Aus to my knowledge) done and felt horrible for a week. Some people will say it affects them for life, for me however, I have no regrets about my choice. It has now been 7-8 years and I know I made the right choice for myself and the baby. I made a choice that ensured I didn’t become a horrible mother that couldn’t provide for her kids. I saved myself and the baby from a life of god knows what. I have since had 2 kids (eldest at 19 and the youngest is 3 months to my partner of the last 4 years- there is almost 5 years between my 2) and I have been able to provide with my current partner a home and life for them. At the end of the day no one can tell you what to do, and I’m not trying to tell you to do one or the other. That choice needs to be made by you. You need to do what’s best for you, your child and this baby. I know you have a current partner, but as stated earlier I became a single mother when my eldest was 7 months old, so don’t do anything because your partner wants you to. If you think having this child will surely lead to separation then will you be prepared to raise 2 young children on your own? These are the types of questions you need to ask yourself. I wish you the best of luck in trying to make those decision as I know it is not an easy one. Stacey
  • I had a termination at a younger age prior to having kids, and have absolutely no regrets. I couldn’t have offered a stable life for my child then, and I am 100% confident still to this day that I made the right choice. Having said that. I now have a 2 year old, and we have struggled with secondary infertility for almost 1.5yrs. So I can see both sides of the coin. I think you should do what feels right to your family, but if you do choose to go down the termination road, make sure you are 100% confident in your decision or you may find it hard to forget and move on from Liane
  • Oh darl sending loads of universal hugs & strength. I am by no means against the option of termination… I’ve had several friends who’ve done so (but I’m not aware of this pill, only the morning after pill), but the fact that you’re unsure says to me that it’s not an option you truly want to take deep down. I can really empathise how exhausting a 6month can be, but just think that you still have 9 months to prepare get excited about this. My two are just over 18months apart & I’m so glad they are close in age it makes things much easier when they get I to their 2yr -4yrs as they can play together & have same interests. You will be able to utilise all the clothing etc from your first so you don’t need to go out & purchase new basics. I’m sure your friends & family will be more then supportive to help you I’m truly sending you all the universal strength love & healing light to help you make the right choice for your  family Hugs Sherree
  • Hi. Yes I have. My husband and I made the decision last year to terminate a pregnancy. Much like you it was a financial/emotional choice. It is easy enough and obviously less invasive. You basically just have a really really bad period – it feels strange as the fetous gets broken down and comes out as big blood clots (sorry for graphic details) it may also make you vomit quite a bit and it can be painful for a couple of days. I do have days I regret our decision but I am 3 weeks away from giving birth again and looking back it was the best decision for us at the time. Good luck xxx Anon
  • If you’re not ready then you’re not ready, you can’t bring a baby into the world if you can’t give it your all, I have been in the same situation, had the pill, no bad side affects. I commend you for you decision. Good luck for the future. Xxx Katy
  • Same thing happened with me I was pregnant with my third after just having my second 6 months ago I was terrified and not sure if I could cope, as I suffered pnd. Long story short I had that pill and miscarriaged but it is a huge regret I cried for a year, and even though it was 5 years ago I still regret it and wish I just asked for more help. No judgements and it’s your decision but this decision I made changed me and my relationships as I’ve been there and it’s hard but I think if I had my time again i would keep it and reach out for help from people around us. Good luck making this decision Julie
  • Please please consider all options first, it may seem like it is impossible but there is always a way! I myself had a termination and I have regretted it every day since and once it’s done it is something you can’t ever take back! Ultimately it is up to you but make sure you are 110% sure! Sarah
  • It is a scary time when you get a positive after a short period of time. I am very much against abortion but when I saw those 2 red lines come up when my 1st was only 8months old I freaked and also considered abortion. I didn’t do it and now have 2 beautiful girls and I honestly couldn’t imagine not having them. The pregnancy was ok by the middle (I suffered bad hypermesis gravidarum) and I really ended enjoying it. A 2nd child close in age is actually great here. Means they go to school sooner and I can go back to work sooner. It is hard the first few months dont get me wrong. My little girl is 3 months now and I am only just getting the hang of 2 but it is amazing seeing them together admiring each other. Talk to your partner, sit down and have a real think if you can do it. My body managed, my emotions to be honest were a bit hectic but ok and financially it really isn’t much more of a cost than 1 is depending on how you feed etc. Big hug, go with your heart as it will be something you will always remember and possible regret without long thought. Kerri
  • I had a surgical termination last year, i too feel pregnant when my baby was 6 months old (although he was our third). I chose the surgical method as it was over and done with, my husband dropped me off early (i was the first patient of the day), then i was home by 10am. I spent the day resting (our older 2 were at school/preschool), and was up and about the next day. It is entirely up to you what to do, and you have got time to think it over (depending on where you are, most areas are 12 weeks, i know i had until 15 weeks), but you do need to make a decision if you want to go down the medical route (by memory i think you have until 7 weeks for it). I don’t regret having it done, we don’t want any more children (i found out i was pregnant the day my husband was booked in for the snip), and further pregnancies are potentially life threatening for me. I think you both have to be 110% on board, and recommend getting some counselling before going ahead with anything. Good Luck Sayuri
  • I have used it once. I remember when after I took it the dr said out of the two options this one is the worse. He obviously was unable to tell me that until I had made up my mind as the dr are not allowed to influence your decision. The only down fall I had is you actually feel and know that the foetus is being terminated compared with the surgical option. I’m a pretty strong person so it didn’t effect me but if your not mentally strong enough to be able to go thru with that option I would go the surgical way. It’s over and done with and you feel no different compared to the pill that you would be taking. I remember every time I went to the toilet I was scared to look as your body is trying toget rid of the foetus due to the tablet and I didn’t know what I would see. Good luck xxxx Nikki
  • Hi. I was in a very similar situation. My son was 10 months and a full on baby.I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I had a termination because I felt I couldn’t do it physically. My partner and I were on the same page. It was the right thing to do for our family at the time. I have gone on to have another heathly baby 3 years later. I have no ill feelings towards my decision. I’m at peace with it. I hope this has helped you. Love and light to you and your family. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you want to discuss it further. Holly
  • I to have found out I am pregnant. my boy is 7 mths old. His birth was horrific. But things happen for a reason. I am going to keep it and we are both so happy. we are blessed to be able to have kids and financially we will just make it work and cut back our already tight budget. Sometimes things happen for a reason I know my body hasn’t recovered but ill make sure i get closer attention my my doctor etc. Just think long and hard about. It can work it really can. Melmel
  • I have had an abortion and it is never easy. To this day I think about the twins I chose to abort who would now have been 13. Did I make the right decision? Yes I did as I was not ready emotionally, physically, financially and it would have broken our relationship. Do I have regrets? Of course, that’s only natural but it doesn’t change the fact that it was the right decision for us at that point in time. I had the abortion pill and a dnc and then a second dnc…. It was a bit of a nightmare for me. The pill is painful, it’s rEal, it’s emotional. It makes you begin to cramp and abort. I had a DNC at the same time as I went to an abortion clinic, however they didn’t remove all the material and I required a second DNC a few days later. You will need lots of love and lots of support and I’d highly recommend counciling and safe sex from now on. Piper
  • Hi, I have no advice, but I have recently found out I am pregnant with my 5th child, my youngest is 6 months as well. We are looking at our options too, I know it’s a hard decision, but any decision you make will be the right one for your family. xx Lil
  • Hi, ive been in your situation. I fell pregnant with my 2nd child 4 weeks after my son was born. Due to my circumstance I had a termination. Mind you it was at 15 weeks the maxium they will will do it. I was hard but it was the right thing for me to do. Im sorry your in this position. Only you can decide the what the right thing is for you xoxox good luck Maddy
  • We were in the exact same position, a 6 month old and 6 weeks pregnant. I looked into all options because I was not ready. I am now 6 months pregnant and happy, once I got my head around it I was fine and am excited to be having another. Still not ideal timing but this baby is a blessing. I understand the feelings you’re going through and support either way. I think it’s a brave decision to terminate, if you feel you can’t do it then why put a baby through that? It’s no ones business, do what is best for your family.people judge but we were on two types of contraception, I was breast feeding and I took the morning after pill and still got pregnant, so this little baby is obviously meant to be Erin
  • Weigh up the pros and con’s and most of all don’t let anybody with their negitive comments make you feel guilty. We all make choices and nobody gets to judge. I have heard of this pill and no dire side effects have been noted. There is another option? Good luck with your decision. I have been in the sane position my son was 3 mths when we fell pregnant with baby #2. We were broke miserable and totally I’ll prepared but alas, we have our beautiful charlie. We are still not financially set up but happy we made the choice to go ahead with the pregnancy. Tracy
  • I haven’t been in your situation but I just wanted to offer my support for you. I have a 6 month old daughter to and would have no idea what I would do in your situation, I’m not allowed to have a second child due to medical reasons but i would love one one day but even so it would be a tough choice, one which doesn’t need to be made harder by judgemental people. It would be so hard and what ever you decided has to be right for your family, don’t worry about he judges as they don’t know your particular situation. Good luck, and do what is right for you Melanie
  • I was in the exact same position as you- we found out about DD2 when my first was 6 months old. It was an incredibly difficult pregnancy, we live paycheck to paycheck and we are often stressed. But I wouldn’t change it for the world :) I love both my daughters and couldn’t imagine life without them :) you’ll never regret having your baby but you might regret having a termination. Good luck mumma x Katie
  • If you are not ready there is no question to ask. I had my third 13 months after my second. Birth to birth. And I considered abortion for my fourth. To the point I was 5 minutes away from taking the pill.. it just wasnt for me. Annette


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  1. Avatarannette says:

    If you are not ready there is no question to ask. I had my third 13 months after my second. Birth to birth. And I considered abortion for my fourth. To the point I was 5 minutes away from taking the pill.. it just wasnt for me.

  2. Great post shared. If you have any doubts A Woman’s Haven can guide you

  3. AvatarNick says:

    Nobody will probably read this as I’ve stumbled across this rather late whilst looking for advise about something else. But I am in total horror at the amount of guilt tripping in these sanctimonious responses. Just terrible. Every person is different and you should respect each other’s choices. Fair enough to suggest thinking carefully before making such a big decision… but for the people PLEADING her not to do it?? I’m just appalled.