Choosing not to breastfeed from birth

Due to certain issues that I have, I am choosing not to breastfeed when my baby is born. I know this is the right decision for me, but I can’t help but feel guilty about it. I know I will also get pressured from those around me. Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you overcome the guilty feelings?

• I am a fierce breastfeeding advocate but I am even fiercer when it comes to doing what feels right for you and your baby. Stand tall and be comfortable with your decision; it will make it easier to withstand the comments of people who can’t mind their own business. Good luck and I wish your baby a happy and safe arrival into the world! Jodi

• Don’t feel guilty, you need to do what’s best for you and bubs. A happy Mum= happy, healthy baby Cathy

• Don’t feel guilty at all. I chose not to breast feed because I didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t want to stress myself out or the baby. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding. I found my husband was able to bond a lot with our baby and I could rest when I needed it. our baby is very healthy & a nice chubby bubby all the best! Becca

• I also want to add, no-one can tell from looking at a child, how they were fed as a baby. My four year old has always been off the charts for height and weight, and is a healthy, happy, very clever little boy. All on formula. So as far as I am concerned, the whole ‘breast is best’ malarky is a load of rubbish. Fed is best, end of story. Wendy

• It’s pretty sad that no one is allowed to try and support her at least trying to breastfeed without 5948291 formula feeders jumping down their throats! Every single breastfeed you give that baby is giving them invaluable colostrum. Even if you only do it for a week.. It’s liquid gold & is designed exactly for that particular baby’s needs. Best of luck x. Anon

• Wendy, there is evidence to prove that formula does have health risks for babies and that it is infant a fourth rate choice for feeding a baby. This lady is definitely entitled to choose how she would like to nourish her child, however, she should be able to make an informed decision with CORRECT information. Saying that breast is not best is not the truth. Cassie

• Your right Wendy… Breast is not best….. It is the biological norm. Ethel

• I breast feed my four month old because I’ve just had luck with it but my older girls were bottle fed. Serena

• Hi everyone, I have created a group called Breast Isn’t Always Best – The bottle feeders support group designed for mums who couldn’t breast feed and want to talk to other mums that also tried and couldn’t and just want to talk about it and get support! This is not a group to sledge mums who do breast feed, we think u are awesome! But this is a group for those who couldn’t.. This follows a woman who committed suicide due to the pressures of breast feeding, post natal depression and lack of support! Please join or share with those who may need it x https://www.facebook.com/groups/463920723718316/ Jenna

• The best and most important part of breastfeeding is the first few days…the colostrum. Maybe express that and give to bub? I made A LOT of colostrum, double the average and when my milk dried up just a few weeks later the midwife told me that I had provided my baby with the best start to life simply by provoding her with the colostrum. Tiffany

• Don’t feel guilty! I am pregnant with my 4th child at the moment all my boys have been bottled fed & simply because I didn’t want to breast feed. If your happy & comfortable then so is baby. Sare

• People who say Brest is best and are not supportive of other women regardless should really learn to keep their opinions and comments to yourselves!!! Its no business of anyone’s how u birth, feed, raise, teach etc your child except your own. Good luck mumma I hope u get all the support u need xx Natalie

• U women that say breast is best and that breast milk is the only thing u should feed ur baby are disgusting closed minded human beings!! How dare u say that when u have no idea what a mother has been through to not be able to breast feed!! U should be disgusted and ashamed of yourselves!!!!! Jenna

• There is also a lot of false information being spouted out on these forums, be careful what advice you listen to. 80% of it is bullshit or bias. Sasha

• I am so sick of breastfeeding vs formula. Just because you can’t breastfeed doesn’t mean your a bad mum. I am a pro breastfeeder yes, but I understand that there are those that can’t, and what else are they supposed to feed their babies?! Your their mother you do what’s best for you and your baby! Karina

• If you feel guilty.. maybe it isn’t the right decision for you? Cat

• I chose not to bf at all with my second and third, I had a few snarky comments and looks, but I always came back with, you’re not the one taking care of my kid so it’s not your business. Bianca

• Some women are disgusting! I am sick to death of this “mummy bashing”. For health reasons I choose to mix feed from day three and fully formula feed from day ten. I have a healthy 18 month old and he had an engaged happy healthy mummy. Julie

• This just confirms that other mothers really are the harshest critics!! I’m appalled by some of the comments. If you can feed and your comfortable, fantastic but a healthy mum and bub is the most important thing, so what ever that takes is more important! Kaitlin

• I BF my baby for 8 months but at the end of the day and end of the year and the end of decade etc you and I both would of just fed our babies Don’t stress yourself out and just enjoy your bundle! Jessica

• i felt funny at the start but at the end of they day who cares, I fully breast fed one baby and fully bottle fed the other, and they are both fully functional and happy kids, i did what was right for me and no one else is in a poistion to judge that, you have ade an educated decision so i would just say stuff them all! do what you want its your baby your choice Hollie

• Try not to feel guilty. Obviously breast milk is best but the absolute most important thing is that your baby is fed. If you choose formula, so be it. It’s your child, your decision. There will be nurses, friends, etc who feel they have the right to impose their choices onto you. Try to ignore them. Just like the age old religion debate, there’s no right or wrong. Mandy

• Yes, breast is best and its sad your not giving it a chance.. But you know what, at the end of the day, a healthy baby and healthy mum is all that matters…. Laura

• I get so annoyed when ppl say ohhhh it will give your baby the best possible start, I was breastfed, my partner wasn’t, we are both healthy adults, go figure. I was put through hell trying to breastfeed my son, I had no milk but the lactation specialist still insisted I keep trying I would have to be hooked up to a machine every 2 hrs and every other hr I had to try to feed my son. He ended up losing more than 10% of his body weight due to starving for 5 days!!!!! I will never put myself and my next baby through the emotional and physical pain it caused, these nipple Nazis need to get a reality check. At the end of the day hun, do what is best for you because your the one that will be looking after this baby day and night…happy mumma = happy bubba x Karlie

• Similar story with myself and my daughter. I completley respect and encourage those bottle feeding because to me that’s harder when there are narrow minded people out I’m currently a breast feeding mother. And I can not believe the judgemental comments on both sides. Every mother is different, as is every child. Not all babies will take the Boob. And it’s not easy breast feeding. I fed my eldest til 3yrs and my still feeding baby is 14 months. And at times they were both offered formula. Who gives a stuff what your child is fed, the important factors are that they are healthy, and loved and cared for. Mothers should support each other not belittle and humilate. As for feeling guilty, I love the saying ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. You’ve made the choice already and your baby will love you no matter what. Best wishes for you and your family. Tan

• With my first child I was unfortunately narrow minded about breastfeeding and just assumed I would be able to, thought all these other women who “couldn’t breastfeed” just hadn’t tried hard enough. Well I tried, and I tried and then through the bleeding and screaming I tried some more and it just did not work. I felt extremely disappointed in myself and after my daughters first bottle I was ashamed and felt incredible guilt. But then she slept, slept properly for the first time in 5 days. And then she was happy, she woke up and played and looked at us, not just screaming and crying. And then she put on weight and was a glowing beautiful baby and I was at peace with my decision. I am pregnant with my second daughter now and I am going to try and try and try but if it doesn’t work out I know it’s not the end if the world. In fact it really doesn’t matter, if we are happy then we have made the right decision. Do what you need to do, what you feel is right. Mother’s instinct is a powerful thing and you are already showing your ability to make decisions based on what is best for you and your baby. Emma

• I think it is disgusting that some of these mothers are saying this stuff. Mothers are supposed to stick together and help each other out. I tried to breastfeed but I wasn’t giving my daughter enough so she was going hungry and she was miserable. I started formula feeding at a week and a half old. She is now almost 5 months old, sleeping through the night and is the most happiest baby I have ever seen. You will still be feeding your baby no matter what. Stop being such judgemental bitches! Do what is right for you and bubs. Like everyone has said happy mum = happy baby. Nicole

• Oh come people leave the poor woman alone. She did not ask for a debate about how to feed her child, it’s her child and she has made a decision based on her own circumstances. Which, I may add, is all any one of us can do. My first bub was mixed fed to 4 months and formula there after, and my second is still breastfed at 7.5 months. But you know what, if for whatever reason I made the decision to change him over to formula, for his health or mine (mental or physical), it’s really no one else’s business other than mine and my husbands. And that’s exactly what i’d be saying to anyone who had an issue with it. Jodie

• Your baby, your decision… It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks. Michelle.

• If you know you’ve explored all options & it’s just not possible for you then you bottle feed…. At the end of the day as long as mum & bubs are happy & healthy that’s all that’s important I would recommend the dr browns bottles…. They are the absolute best & will help keep colic/reflux issues to the minimum Sending loads of universal hugs Sherree

• One of my friends has four kids and all four of them she’s had elective Caesarian and bottle fed them all – they are all beautiful and intelligent kids. We are lucky we have the option to bottle feed if we need to nowadays. Good luck xx Jodie

• Don’t feel bad.. I hated breast feeding and ran out of milk anyway. As long as you and bubs are happy and healthy, this is not an issue. Kristie

• A healthy and happy Mum and baby are all that matters Heather

• My 1st i got pushed by midwives and ended up with depression as my daughter wouldn’t latch but i had had my 2nd a week ago today and i chose to bottle feed her and got no pressure this time. U are still a good mum either way. Don’t let any one tell you any different. Tamara

• I was unable to BF when my little one came home and I cried continuously, then I saw he was happy, healthy and settled then realized it didn’t matter where his food came from. As long as he was happy Bec

• I breastfed with my first till 7months and did not enjoy it but persevered because of the mother guilt/pressure. In hindsight, my boy did not grow well was constantly hungry and slept poorly-colic all day. Nine years later with my second child I am bottle feeding because I have had breast cancer (with associated surgery and treatment) and cannot breastfeed. What a JOY bottle feeding is- my son is happy, less colic and is growing well. I find I am happier and get out more. I recently read a scientific study that concluded that when siblings from the same family who were fed differently are compared in a range of abilities/ health categories the difference in outcome is negligible. Do what suits you and your baby. Debbie

• Don’t feel guilty as long as your child is nourished!! It’s nobody’s business how he is fed. Do what you think is right for you and bub!! Jillian

• Your damned if you do and your damned if you dont, im still breastfeeding my 10 month old and I get comments about that. Do what is best for you! Kristen

• Just tell people “it was better for us both that I bottle feed”, give a smile and leave it at that. Loren
• “Breastfeeding is NOT the true test of motherhood.” ~Erin Odom. You are still a good mum. You are still enough. Danielle

• How you feed your baby is no one else’s business. If any one asks or makes comment then just say that for medical reasons you couldn’t breast feed and you have chosen what will work best for your family. People will be less likely to criticise if you show confidence in your choices. All the best x Rebecca

• I breast fed my first till she was 11 months and my twins till they were 12 months I had no issues with it and found it very natural and comfortable….but I would never judge another mother in their decisions to how they feel is the right way to raise their family…especially a mother who is seeking advice and reassurance. Alana

• Check out Exclusive Pumping: breastfeeding without nursing. It could be an option for you. Dervla

• Being a great mum is not all about breast feeding. You need to do what is right for you and your family. Your well being and babys well being is priority, you know what is best. You will be a fantastic mum, there are so many other things that make a great mum, as long as you are feeding baby, nurturing their growth and development, getting lots of rest and happy that’s a great mum. Being a mum is the greatest feeling, enjoy the adventure . Kelly

• I made the decision second time round that if by the time I left hospital my baby wasn’t breast feeding properly I wouldn’t continue. My first experience was so stressful and I didn’t want to go through that again. It didn’t work second time round and the day I came home from hospital I started using formula. Had no stress and therefore a much more happy and settled baby. Of course I felt guilty at times but I knew the overall outcome was better for all of us. The time with a newborn goes way to quick to be stressing yourself out over something that really isn’t a big deal – only to some people who think they know everything cause it worked for them! Good luck! Xx Nadine

• There is no need to feel guilty – you are your baby’s mum and you know what is right for you both – anyone says anything – just walk away… you and babys health ( mental and physical ) is the upmost importance not comments from others – congrats and health and happiness to you and your family Anne

• I believe that it is no one else’s business how you feed or raise your child. I also believe that if you lined up a group of kids (or adults for that matter) you wouldn’t be able to pick out who was breast fed or formula fed. Do what is best for you, your baby and your family. Don’t let anyone else make you feel guilty for it Margaret
• You are feeding your baby. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Laura

• All 3 of my kids were bottle-fed and they are healthy and happy. Just tune out when you get the negative people making comments, its none of their business. I was exclusively bottle fed too as a baby in the 70’s and I’m sure the formula’s are much better now! It doesn’t matter what a Mum’s reasons are, bottle feeding your baby is your choice and no-one else’s Monique

• My son was born 7 weeks prem and not in a very good way. He was formula fed from day one and has been a healthy, strong and settled child reaching all milestones early and no bonding issues at all. It astounds me that we are made to feel guilty about what feels right for us. The BEST thing for a child is a happy, relaxed and comfortable mum! Try not to be consumed by those who decide to judge you. For all the crap that is put into our bodies these days, I’m sure breast isn’t always best Rachelle

• I chose to formula feed my two babies because I didn’t feel comfortable with breast feeding and I have two beautiful happy healthy girls, don’t feel guilty ! Danyelle

• Don’t feel guilty. It is your decision. Make sure you are clear on this when you book into the hospital. Stay strong and don’t feel pressured. After not being able to feed my number 1; and was made to feel terrible for it. So with number 2 I didn’t even want to try. I told the nurses and midwives my decisions and requested no pressure either way. Some weren’t happy but once I voiced my decision I had a couple of supporters. If mum is happy, baby is happy. They make formula and/or breast pumps for a reason. Good luck! X Tenille

• Don’t let ANYONE make you feel guilty. It is your decision! I chose not to breastfeed.. why? I simply did not want to! Some people tried to guilt me, I just didn’t listen! The hospital staff never said a word about it, but it could of been because I had twins, I did overhear midwives trying to convince other women to stick to it, etc. I think I was just prettu blunt that I was not even going to attempt it. I guess imn answer to your question about overcoming your guilty feelings, juat remind yourself that YOUR choice is the best for YOUR family. The best thing is that dad gets to bond with bubs during feeds too Steph

• I also made the choice not to breastfeed. Basically, its no-one elses business, and you can only be made to feel guilty if you allow someone to make you feel that way. Be confident in your choice, and remind yourself that you are doing what is best for you, and in turn, your baby. Wendy

• I couldn’t feed my twins and I get a lot of judgment from other mums which is really sad because we should all be supporting each other. You know what is best for yourself and if bottle feeding works for you then do it and don’t listen to what anyone else says. It doesn’t make you any worse of a mother. As long as you and bubs are healthy thats all that matters. Good luck to you Christine

• Your baby will thrive and grow just as well on the bottle, no breasts or guilt needed xox hugs and prayers from someone that did feel guilty when didn’t breastfed 1st baby and then regretted feeling guilty as life is too short. Bub grew to be a big healthy girl from the bottle, just like me Sue

• ur body, ur baby, ur choice don’t let anyone say otherwise! but do tell ur care provider what u want to do, I had guilt and tried in hospital to breastfeed and numerous attempts later I just stood my ground and said I was distressed by it all! it’s ur choice… no one else xx Leah

• I did try breast feeding and had HUGE trouble with it. I felt sooooo guilty that I was thinking about goin to formula. When we finally did, it was the best thing I did. Yes I wish I could have breast fed but it wasn’t meant to be for us. Everyone was so much happier once totally formula, especially bub as she wasn’t hungry anymore. When you see bub is happy, the guilt becomes less. And the saying is so true …. Happy mum = happy baby. Do what’s best for you and those who are true to you should support you no matter what!!! Good luck! Lynette

• Happy baby… starts with a happy Mummy. Jodie

• You have to do what is best for you and the baby. Your mental and physical health is the most important thing you can have when raising a newborn child. Everyone else around you doesn’t look after the child 24/7 so it’s really none of their business. Best wishes. Holly

• Yay! Good for you for making up your own mind about how to care for YOUR baby! Who really cares how you choose to do that, as long as… your baby IS cared for! I breastfed my first because it worked for us. My second is due in a few weeks and I plan is to give the boob a go again, and switch to formula if required or if I feel like it. I was entirely formula fed, as was my husband. Neither me nor my husband feel hardly done by as a result! I am grateful that I was well nourished, full stop! I am also a paediatric/child health nurse and am the first to advocate for a happy mum=happy bub, regardless of parental choices. Be strong- do what is right for you and try hard to ignore those narrow minded and opinionated people who, unfortunately, will always be around. Best of luck with everything xx Kimberley

• Don’t feel guilty, breast is not always best. I was breast feeding and it turned out my daughter has a rare blood disease where my breast milk was killing her! People should keep there opinions to themselves, they never know all the details and it’s none of their business. Rowena

• You do what is best for you hun. If you have any concerns about how it will affect your baby in the future go for a drive to a school and try to pick which kids werent breast fed. You wont be able to. The most important thing is that your baby is fed and that you are both happy. Best wishes and congratulations on your pending arrival. Xx Amanda

• This is my 3rd bub and neither one of them would latch to my breast. I tried for 6 weeks. So now I express milk for him and I seem to be quite good at it. But I also supplement with formula if I haven’t pumped enough milk some days. And I do not feel guilty at all. He is 4 months old now and still getting breastmilk. I found this was a way for me to keep giving him some breastmilk and keep my sanity( pumping is really hard!!!). Make your decision , stick to your guns and be proud of the fact that you can have a baby, and care for it the way you want Tiffany

• I haven’t been in this situation, but all I can say to you is that you have to do what’s best for you and bubs. If that is formula feeding, then that’s fine! The best advice I have been given is calm and happy mum, calm and happy baby. Try not to worry about what everyone is thinks and just relax and enjoy your bub. Casey

• I think no matter what you choose you will feel guilty. I breast Fed, the first taste of anything else was when I got gastro. I got mastitis 6 times in 11 months and fought with PND, I got a break because o had to feed him and the lack of sleep sent me crazy.I feel guilty that I pushed myself so much, I wish I mix fed.Next baby will be mixed, If I’m lucky enough to be able to breast feed. That way if things get bad I can hand the bub to someone else and get a break if I need it. Maybe breast is best, but I think having a happy healthy mummy is more important. Cin

• I don’t know your circumstances, but my advice is if you feel guilty, give it a go. You might be surprised and fall in love with it, I know a number of mums who didn’t want to breastfeed for whom this was the case… They tried and just didn’t want to stop. At the very least give the baby your colostrum in the hospital, it helps clean the meconium out of their bowels and gets their digestive system working. Failing that, don’t feel guilty, at least your baby will be fed. But how do you know you don’t like it if you don’t try? Gemma

• All that matters is that your child is fed, clothed and most of all loved…. it shouldnt matter by what means he/she is fed as long as they are healthy and happy! Once bub is born you will already have enough emotions and things on your mind, I think its really important for your well being to get past this gulit as soon as possible so when you come across certain people you will already have the strength to ignore them. Shaye

• I was lucky to have no issues feeding my son aside from a painful bout of mastitis and his tongue tie. However my mother has a condition that prevents her from bf and it can be hereditary, I was worried and I knew the guilt my mum experienced when she realised her problem after my brother went jaundice. I resolved that I would try to breastfeed as it is the way nature intended, however, I said to myself that if I was unable or there were other complications etc, aren’t I lucky that I have the option of bottlefeeding, once upon a time a woman had to rely on a wet nurse…..so don’t feel guilty, you do what’s best for your child and you, and if anyone says anything, you tell them it’s none of their business, you are nourishing your child to the best of your ability. Shanna

• I tried to breastfeed and when it just wasnt working I was devastated even though I knew formula was what was best for my lil one. I criwd for two days and it was mainly because of the pressure people put on you! But at the end of the day what made it ok was the fact my lil girl was thriving from formula and she was happy and gaining weight and growing !! Thats all that matters….happy bub happy mum! Jenny

• You don’t have to explain yourself. Just say it’s the right choice for us & don’t engage in any further discussion. Yes BF is important & beneficial but it’s not for everyone & it’s just one part of parenting. Kirsty

• There is way to much pressure put on mothers to breast feed these day – all I can say is you do what is best for you, your baby will be fine – formula these days have so many nutrients in them Lucinda

• Yes I have been in this situation. I withheld breast feeding completely from birth. Yes I felt guilty about it. But you need to make peace with your decision before bub comes as you will have enough to deal with when he/she comes along. A happy mum and bub is more important than how you choose to feed bub. Making sure that bub and Mum are happy and healthy is the important thing, and formula’s are so good these days with a great range to choose from. I hope you, like I, have the support you need from family and friends. And remember, it’s your choice. You do NOT have to breastfeed if you do not want to, whatever the reason, don’t be bullied into it and you do NOT have to justify your decision to anyone. But make sure whatever decision you make, is the right one for you and bub, no one else matters but you and bub Joanne

• You do what ever you feel is right for you. We just had this problem with my daughter who just had a baby, she chose not to breastfeed and felt guilty due to other people opinions!!!! I told my daughter it’s not going to affect how you are as a mother if you breast feed or bottle feed. By the way I breast feed and bottle fed my six children and they are all perfectly healthy!! Enjoy being a mother and do what you feels best and never feel guilty. Vanessa

• Unfortunately mothers are consistantly judged on every single decision we make about our children. My best advice is ignore all the negative and trust that you know what’s best for you and your baby. Because to be honest you are the only one who can make the right decision. So wether you decide to breastfeed or bottle feed good luck with your beautiful baby. Remember water off a ducks back! Trista

• I tried and did BF for about two months but my dd was topped up on formula. It was hard work. At the end of the day i didnt want to stress myself out and since she was already on formula i just switched to full formula. At times i do regret not persisting but she is 13 months now and happy and healthy. Do whats best for you. You cannot tell who was breast/formula fed at the end of the day! Good luck and ignore negative comments! You know yourself best! X Alifah

• I am 26 and pregnant with my 4th baby. I have never breastfed my boys and I won’t be breastfeeding number 4. I could have breastfed. I just chose not to. It wasn’t for me. When I had my first son midwives tried to convince me to breastfeed, same with my second and third.. when in hospital there was a breastfeeding thing happening and all the mums had to go.. I refused. I know what is best for my children. My 3 boys are now 7,6,3 and very healthy. The thing is don’t let people tell you what to do.. it is your body and your baby.. stand your ground! All the best xxx Brodie

• I think it’s always a good decision to at least try – but it’s all personal preference, it’s lucky that these days formulas have a lot of nutritional value for bubs, they just don’t have they natural antibodies like breast milk. I breast fed for the first two months but my little one was a lazy feeder so I ended up transitioning to formula – and we have a very healthy 2 year old who rarely gets ill. You can still have the bonding experience with bottle feeding. Victoria

• I didn’t breastfeed my firs born and he is a very healthy and happy two year old. I am currently pregnant with twins and will be bottle feeding the when they are born easier for me and my family. NO ONE should every judge a mother for her choices on how to do things with there children. All the best on your journey x Melissa

• Always trust your instincts! Only you know what is right for you & your beliefs as a mother will come naturally. Personally I wouldn’t rule anything out as a mother without giving it a go. I am a breast feeding mum and do thoroughly enjoy it & was lucky enough to not experience any dramas. Don’t get me wrong the first 24-48 hours is challenging and your whole world changes instantly. But it’s about adapting! Don’t rule it out as you may regret not trying it. Alicia

• Whatever decision you make is totally yours and no one else’s.. It doesn’t matter what’s ‘best’ because that might not be ‘best’ for you.. I formula fed both my daughters from birth and they were settled and sleeping beautifully from day one. Hubby could help with feeds and we never once felt guilty about our decision.. It’s everyone else’s opinions that make you feel guilty and to be honest your baby will be happy if you are happy.. In the end I know some brilliant, smart, wonderful women and men who were bottle fed from birth and they are no better or worse than the women and men that I know that were all breast fed. Good luck x Kirsty

• I bf my first cause “it’s the right thing to do” and hated every moment. Was so glad when she preferred the bottle. With just 2nd I decide to formula feed as soon as she was born. I have enjoyed every minute feeding her. Wish I formula fed my 1st as bf was not for me. My 2nd has a much stronger immune system also. Happy mummy means happy baby. Do what’s best for you. Samantha

• I breast fed my first 2 dd’s tried with my ds but he had medical problems so I couldn’t. And the truth I found bottle feeding better. Its your baby your choice. No one elses. Ive done both. Either way the baby still gets fed. Thats all that matters xx Tammy

• My mum has said this to me from when she found out I was pregnant. “it’s your body, it’s your baby. You do what you feel is right for you and your baby” I have listened and it has helped me in my down times. Good luck Janelle

• It’s okay. I had a very similar situation with our son in which we chose not to Breastfeed from the beginning. I felt pressured by midwifes, friends and complete strangers to do what society felt was best for my baby. Scare tactics used by various outlets such as Prenatal classes just made me depressed and pressured. I was told my baby would be mentally behind, he would have stunted growth, sleep issues, learning disability’s, medical problems, the list was endless. He is now 20mth old, in size 3, towers over most other children his age, will hold a conversation with you, follows instructions (when his selective hearing isn’t in use), he slept through the night from 5 weeks and is far more advance then other children we know his age. Once our son arrived I found the vast majority of people who actually had a problem with bottle-feeding were those without children of their own. I lost count of the times I felt looked down upon because I gave my son a bottle in public, there were instances where I would actually feed in a private cubical to avoid judgment. I also lost count of the times those closest to me told me not to let it get to me, don’t worry about it. Easier said then done. As a mother, instinctively you only what what is best for your baby and it is totally normal to feel the way you are feeling. Unfortunately nobody is going to be able to change that with a simple “Oh just ignore them” etc. It is something you will have to experience and discover yourself. We are 4 months out from welcoming our second baby into the world and I still have some anxiety over our decision to bottle feed once again, however I know this time as soon as my baby is in my arms, nobody else opinion will matter when it comes to parenting our child other then my husbands and myself. It does get easier, however it is an uphill battle, not only with others but with yourself. Trust your instincts, do what you feel is right for YOUR baby. Adrienne

• I’ve been scolded at for breastfeeding and scolded at for bottle feeding- the important thing is you are doing what you need to as a mum. Now if you were giving your baby cola in a bottle you’d be doing the wrong thing, but formula isn’t poison and there are millions of babies that have thrived on it so please don’t feel guilty. There will be plenty more opportunities for you to beat yourself up as a parent along the way trust me! A midwife once said to me as I was struggling with breastfeeding my second child- “If you go to formula, it’s ok. But be confident in your decision and stand by it”. Once I did that, life got so much easier & I stopped feeling sick with worry & guilt. Happy mummy= happy baby. Good luck with your new bub xx Gina

• There are plenty of reasons mums formula feed, and it’s no ones business but your own! Don’t feel guilty, I bet your baby will get more than enough nurturing in all facets of its life regardless. Miki

• I know what your feeling !!!!!! Bottom line is that your baby is fed , healthy & happy . Does not matter how you feed them ! Just keep reminding yourself your baby is being fed and that’s all that matters . I bottle fed my first born , currently breastfeeding 2nd baby. I always made sure when bottle feeding , I held my son , gazed at him , had that closeness that you do when breastfeeding & it was still a really lovely experience. Kim

• You do what you think is best. I formula fed my first 2 with no issues at all. I tried to bf number 3 and it was a disaster so she went to formula at 10 weeks. If bub is happy and thriving that’s all that matters. Rebecca

• Do not feel guilty you do what you feel is best. No matter what we do as mums someone will always have something to say. So just ignore anything negative and do what is best for you and your child. Jacinda–Caydee

• Do not feel guilty at all. I had our second baby 2.5 weeks ago and I made the decision to feed the first colostrum feed and then bottle feed, as I had such a traumatic time trying to feed after an emergency c section the first time. It was my decision, it’s my body and my choice. I was a mess with the guilts after not being able to feed the first time and decided to do what was best for me and my bub. Couldn’t be happier. Just make the decision and stick to it. I got no pressure from midwives or anyone this time. I had a c section again & I’m glad I didn’t have the added stress of everything else Good luck mumma – you know what is best for you. Don’t take any shit xxx Joanne

•  Mumma to be, you’ve made the decision that’s best for you and bubs and if the people around you love you, they will support you. The best thing for you new bub is for you to love and care for him/her how you feed them makes little difference to them. I had to give up BF for various reasons and suffered a lot of guilt but for the situation it was the right decision and haven’t looked back, good luck mumma xoxo Natasha

• Know that you are doing the right thing for your baby if it’s the right thing for you!!! Happy Mumma, happy bubba!!!! Good luck with it all!! Haley

•  Talk to your care provider before baby is born so you are on the same page. Emma

• Don’t feel guilty I put my daughter on bottle the day after she was born as it just wasn’t working for me n didn’t want to struggle like my first baby. I took bottles and formula to hospital n told ppl thats what I was doing n my baby my choice. My baby is 5.5 weeks old happy content so for us was best thing to do. Go with ur heart n tell ppl to keep opinions to themselves n please don’t ever feel guilty!!! Ashley

• You need to do what’s right for YOU and YOUR baby, as long as bub is fed there is no need to feel guilty. I couldnt breast feed, and those that argued I just asked them to please leave my decisions to me, I wasn’t starving my baby, and she is healthy and happy. Good luck x Kristin

• It is completely up to you sweet. NO ONE has any authority over if you BF or not BF. It’s your choice. I chose to stop BF 3 months in. Anyone who had a problem would get told to mind their own. You may feel guilty for awhile but It will pass. Don’t worry about what anyone says. Your body your child your choice. Miki

• Don’t feel guilty breast feeding isn’t for me either but I was happy to express but only managed it for 6 weeks I’m due in October and I’m going to try a double pump but I’m not going to stress about it, boob isn’t for everyone, I didn’t feel guilty I would rather be comfortable than uncomfortable just to please others. Sharron

• Motherhood is LOADED with guilt. It won’t be the last thing you feel guilty about. BUT. You have to remember that this is your baby. Not anyone else’s. Don’t make decisions based on those around you. They aren’t the ones raising your baby. You do what you need to do. If formula wasn’t ok for babies, it wouldn’t be sold. Kirsty

• Are you sure you have made the right decision? If you are feeling guilty and non-confident about your choice then is it the right one? Maybe you should seek some counseling from parenting support groups and or explore why you aren’t going to breastfeed to make sure it’s right for you. I didn’t feed my first child for very long and I’ve always felt guilty but not for what others think, it’s because I felt it was the best thing got her and I gave up on her because it was too hard. This is my experience and my feelings only. You should do what’s right for you and baby but if you are feeling horrible about it maybe you need to re-think. No one can reassure you here, it’s about you xx Kristy

• I was not able to bf more than 5 days, formula’s are very good now and as long as bub puts on weight and will drink it he/she will be fine. If it works for you don’t worry about what others think!!! It doesnt make you any less of a mother. Amy

• I am actually facing the same problems… Due to physical issues I couldn’t feed my first so I’ve made the decision not to feed my next baby. Just because I was so immensely stressed when it wouldn’t work and I put so much pressure on myself that I HAD to do it when you don’t… Definitely agree with happy mum= happy bub.. And don’t let ANYONE tell you you’re doing it wrong!! Kira

• You have to do what is best for you and your bub. Before my bub was born I was so set on breast feeding but when he was born I really struggled. I made the decision to stop at 6weeks. I felt extremely guilty and would often cry about it but now looking back I am glad I did because I was finally able to bond properly with my child and he stopped feeling like such a chore. People will always say breast is best but doing what ever works best for you and your baby is more important. Everyone is different. Good luck with everything xx Jess
• I have 3 beautiful, extremely healthy girls who have had formula since 2 weeks old. The eldest is 14 and none of them have ever had anything worse than a cold. Don’t let anyone make you feel more guilty than I know you are probably feeling, your baby will be happy, healthy and at least you know that the formula is designed to give them exactly what they need, you never know that with breast milk Kelly

• Do what feels right for you. I felt guilty with my 1st but by no#3 I knew it wasnt for me so decided to formula feed from birth. It worked a treat. Happy baby, happy mum. She is now a thriving 6 month old. Stand by your decision & dont feel have to justify why to anyone. Good luck! Belinda

• I personally think as long as your baby gets your colostrum.. that stuff before your milk comes in.. then preceed to bottle feed that their is no problem with your decision. . I have bf all 3 of my healthy kids but have friends with healthy babies who have bottle feed dont be put down by others.. do what is right for you.. but the colostrum is the important part for your baby.. xx good luck.. xx Kim

• I think if you have made the decision because it is what is best for you go for it whatever the issues are it doesn’t matter you need to do what is best for you your baby will be fed clothed and loved that is the important thing not if it is breast or formula as a mum we do our best with what we have and not everyone is going to agree with he decisions we make but it isn’t about them it is about you and your baby so be ok with the decision you make and don’t fell guilty as there is no reason to xxx Naomi

• Every mother should do wat they are comfortable for them a d the baby as for me I breastfed all of my six children as I found it so much easier than bottles could go out any were and just feed them and found bonding made me more closer all natural so wat suits the mother she wld no ways better I agree on both. Pamela

• For personal reasons I have also chosen not to breastfeed my bubs who is due in 2 weeks. I got the guilts also BUT if you feel you are making the right decisions for you and your family it is all yhe matters. Good Luck. Amanda

• My mother in law was never breastfed. She was entirely fed on formula in 1955/56 and she is the healthiest person I know. And imagine what the formula was like 50+ years ago. That’s what did it for me (the most, other things like the WHO guidelines existing mostly due to water quality in the majority of countries etc also helped). Don’t stress, there will always be something to feel guilty about Michelle

• I made the same decision. I had my own reasons which were fully supported by my obstetrician and family and felt comfortable with the choice I made. It was one if the best decisions I made for me and my baby. Be prepared that the nurses may put pressure on you and make you question yourself but it’s none of their business. Linda

• It’s your choice!! I have 7 children and never breast feed any of them!! It was never something I wanted to do.. It was not for me before I even had my children and I knew that! I have 7 extremely healthy happy children.. I never had guilt about it but I would assume that you’re doing for your own reasons and that should be enough.. If you’re happy with your choice then no one else matters.. Happy content Mumma = happy content bubba good luck