How have you coped with your baby in the later months, after the newborn stage has passed and your partner (and possibly you) are back at work? Do you sometimes feel like your in a rut and what have you done to overcome these feelings?
- I went back to work and worked weekends, so I had some time to myself. Belinda
- At the start it was really hard, but now our son is older we find it exciting to watch him learn new things, still has its hard days but the joy on our sons face when dad walks in the door after work is priceless definitely worth all the hard times..Plus on weekends we both have one day each to have a sleep in which helps a lot. Bethany
- With both kids the first few months were hard. We fought a lot as we were both run down. We don’t have family and friends around so we really had to rely on each other. Now that our youngest sleep has a pattern it’s gotten easier for me to cop. Dh and I are also both studying part time so I have one day a week where ds goes to day care so I can get more work done it does get much easier as they get older and more predictable. Kimberly
- I went back to work and it was great! 10wks in hospital n then went back to work 8 weeks after that and it was a nice break. Jackie
- I sometimes found it hard and I would be hanging out till daddy got home. But I LOVE being a mum and wouldn’t change it. We’ve had several health issues and surgeries so I haven’t been able to work really. But I didn’t want to anyway. My dd is 2 now and it’s awesome.We do DO a lot of stuff – mothers group, playgroup, hanging out with mummy friends so we keep busy. I wrap ally couldn’t handle sitting at home day in day out. Bethanie
- If you can, have regular “date nights” even if it is a nice dinner and snuggle on the couch after the little one is in bed… If you feel like you are in a rut, please, please ask for help… Get an aunty, grandparent or friend to watch the baby or help with the housework, or spend time with the baby while you get out and have your hair/nails done etc… Go to playgroups and get out and about with the baby, being stuck in the house when you are doing it mostly on your own, does nothing for your self-esteem…. And I can’t stress this enough – communicate with your partner about how you are feeling, what YOU need, and what you would like for the relationship and the family… Tracy
- I would go make a point of spending one day at home, one day out of the house whether it was grocery shopping, window shopping, at the park, meeting someone for coffee etc. you can’t be in the house all the time! The other thing was to let go in terms of mess – do painting outside with baby, who cares if they get filthy you can give them a bath. The fun and joy you will get out of it is so much better than anything else! Washing and dishes will always be there so if u want to go and have fun, go! Slow cookers are a great invention too so you’re not stuck in the kitchen! Rebecca
- I am a military wife with a husband that was away for 8 months of my pregnancy and has been away 7 of the first 12 months of my 12 month old son. Its super hard, I find routine helps a lot for you and the baby and also dad -with my husband away all the time he wasn’t sure what was happening with our ds when he would get back. So I would write out the routine before he came home so he wasn’t so lost in his own home. We also never feel guilty about needing our own time if that be together time or alone time. A happy parent makes for a happy child. Make sure you always communicate… If you aren’t on the same page you will find yourself being angry about something your partner has no idea about. Embrace your friends and family and let them help. You don’t need to be a super mum but you do need to be a sane mum….Renee
- We had 2 babies under 12 months apart. As a stay at home mum it is hard and you so sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a rut but it does get better, I started going out on a Friday night to my mums scrapbooking shop so I had some time to myself while my partner stayed at home with our kids. Sometimes dads don’t realise how hard it is on stay at home mums so we have to let them know and explain that we just need some time out. I was told by someone older that the chores can wait and when bub sleeps you rest and relax as well to give you that little break. I also ended up going to work for 6 months as we needed the extra income so had to send our babies to daycare and as hard as that was we both had to realise that we weren’t bad parents as we got to see our babies learn new things. Sonya
- I go with it. They are days but it’s worth it and just comes so natural my 9 month old son just started crawling and that’s fun haha Jasmine
- Mothers group was great for me. Also making sure I still saw friends, went for walks with dd. things like that. I just went with the flow and made sure I enjoyed every stage of my babies little life. They aren’t babies for long. Laura
- I go to work and their dad is stay at home dad but is now going to school but we stool struggle but work helps me a lot and school helps him so you just need some you time as well. Tarsha
- My sons 18months old and we expecting #2 at the end of November, we own our own business and hubby is working 18+ hours every day but manages to come home to have dinner with us. so our son only sees him for an hour or so at night before bed time and weekends, it is very hard. And I definitely feel like we are in a constant rut but we just keep soldiering on. It’s all you can do. Chantelle
- I feel privileged, and blessed. There are many people who never get the opportunity to be at home with their baby/ies. My husband works long hours and I often am home alone with both kids but I would rather it that way then never to have the opportunity to be a mum. It’s just the way it goes; you cope because you have to. I see the positive side of things; it’s easy to focus on the negative! I am so lucky to have 2 healthy, wonderful children. Katie
- I am a single Mum by choice. But I am sharing a house with my Mum who has been a wonderful help. I had wanted my son for 18 years, so now I cherish my time with him. It is all about balance and communication. Let people help if they want to, if you can’t get out of the house, bring family and friends in. Take your baby for walks, to playgroups, shopping. They are only this little for a short time. Tammy
- Gosh yes!!! The first 12 months is a huge life adjustment! Even for myself who tried for 9 yrs and 8 Ivf cycles to have my beautiful and amazing little man…. My husband works day and night and I am on my own most if the time, I am truly blessed to have my son and a am thankful every day, however there are days where I just need some ME time, things do get on top of me and sometimes I feel like I’m going insane… Haha! I think it’s all a part of becoming a new mum and finding your new self….I’m am loving being a mum and trying for our 2nd one…..Kate
- Yes! I felt very overwhelmed & alone, my husband was & still is working 2 jobs & we have no family & few friends in the state. I went back to work, just casual, feeling like I wasn’t ready to but it turned out to be the best thing for me. We have also always tried to have at least one day a wk together as a family as me & my husband are rarely Home at the same time as we work around each other to keep bub out of daycare. Also now she is a bit older husband & I try to do something without her, like dinner/movies maybe once a month. I find all of this makes a huge difference for all 3 of us. Beth
- My dh works away up to 5 days a week. We have no family in Australia but great friends! I also work although its going to be only 2 days a week now as we just had baby number 4. I go to kindy gym, coffee, school stuff, window shop, BBQ at beach Etc. new babies are hard work. There’s no way around the sleep deprivation, monotony and general drudgery of chasing your tail to feed, care for you bub as well as siblings and housework! Just get in with it! Break it up with days out. Anja
- We are very lucky as hubby works rotating shifts si he works 4×12 hour days and then he’s off for 3-4-5 days in a row. So while it’s pretty much just me and bubs for those 4 days, we then get to have him all to ourselves for several days at a time. In that time I get a sleep in, and we work together to catch up on house work that I’ve fallen behind on, but mostly we just spend time together with our daughter. I have some days where I feel a little claustrophobic in the house so I just take dd to the supermarket and show her off, or go visit a family member or friend. It’s definitely hard in the beginning before your bubs is in a routine and your super sleep deprived but it gets better. I love every minute! Beck
- Oh yes defiantly!!! When I had my first, all I knew prior to the baby was working full time and being in a social environment, and then suddenly I’m home 24-7 fully caring for this buba?! By the time he was 3mths old I felt like the walls were closing in and had extreme cabin fever I even had this panicked fear that I was going drop him (Never did of course) just really anxious I kept trying to push through, stayed in my pj’s all day…. Just really hazed…Anyways I eventually figured out I had pnd…. And started medication, was the best thing i did, and could actually breathe and smile again I’ve had three more children since and am still needing to use medication now with my youngest being 4mths….. I think go see your doctor and have a chat all the best xx Ali
- No doubt it’s hard, especially on those challenging days. I try to get out most days, with only 1 or 2 days at home all day. Plus texting etc with other mums & having mums group helps too! Kintara
- I joined every baby/toddler group around It tired my Miss out and got me out of the house – then in the afternoon she would sleep and I could feel like me for a bit It does get harder as they get over the newborn stage and start moving – just enjoy the little nice moments as much as you can. Renee
- I heamoraged after birth & lost alot of blood resulting in a week in hosp, seperated from my little girl & having 2 blood transfusions. The road to recovery was a very dark & difficult one indeed! All family was overseas & it was just my husband & I. I felt little connection to bubs & constantly felt down. Eventually after 3 months hubby pushed me to join a mothers group. Within 2-3 weeks i had met some lovely ladies & a nurse who supported me thru my struggles. I learnt to bond with my little girl & learnt that, with time, things DO get better! I now have my beautiful 27 mo old girl & a 10 mo old boy, who I love both very much! Best thing to do from the get go is to get out & meet other mums!!! Anthea
- I found something that was for me to do “my time” that helped as yes sometimes I felt like a robot on auto – wake, feed, change, sleep, cook wash etc. Bianca
- My hubby is a wonderful husband and father, but he doesn’t enjoy the first 6 months or so as much as I do… He struggled to bond with such a tiny little baby who needs feeds, changes and sleeps but not a lot else… Once they’re more interested in the world around them and respond he absolutely lights up! He loves our babies so much, and they absolutely adore him too, but I do understand why it can be a bit tougher on the dads in the early days- mums have the whole pregnancy to bond with the baby, feel it’s movements and so on which daddies miss out on for the most part. So saying, we have four under 3yo now and love our little big family! We find people who don’t have children can struggle with the transition in our relationship with them to accommodate for our family, which can be challenging for everyone at times, but we’ve put our family first from the very beginning and will continue to do so. We also had a tough time with quite blatantly negative reactions to all of our pregnancies from close family or other dramas along the way, but we are so truly blessed to share four beautiful, healthy and happy children that the rest resolves itself really. Jo
- It can be a very tough journey to start with and there were many days where I felt overwhelmed and exhausted, but 2 years on and we’ve just introduced bub no 2 to the family and strangely I feel completely in control and calm. I’m really proud of who I’ve become and what my hubby and I have achieved as parents and this makes everything including lack of sleep worthwhile. To see your beautiful children grow happy and strong before your eyes has to be the biggest gift and we are so grateful. The first year though is tough. Kelly
- My son is 6mo and honestly, it varies. Some days are so hard and hormones just make it worse. Other days I really enjoy that I am able to stay at home with him. Either way, if he’s crying and unsettled or grumpy with teething, I just think about him playing with his dad or look at a favourite photo of him and my heart melts. It’s a huge adjustment and I miss my old life – being able to go out and spend the day shopping, or catching up with childless friends. But it’s totally worth it. Sounds corny, but suddenly the world makes sense when you feel that bond with your little one. Tabitha
