Baby Hints & Tips

What mums really want for Christmas

Sick of dropping hints to hubby for what you’d like to see under the tree this Christmas? Or dreading that he will hand over something that leaves you wondering if he even knows who you are? We consulted with Lisa from The Notorious MUM who slays at thoughtful gift giving and getting your man on the right track this Christmas. Read on!

Lisa and family from The Notorious MumWe have strict rules surrounding spousal Christmas presents in our house.

Number one, there shall be no lists. Hints, yes, lists, no. Lists – unless you’re five, and writing to Santa – are not in the spirit of Christmas.

Number two, gifts should be something that you’d never, ever buy yourself. By which I don’t mean that the gift should be something that you’d never, ever buy yourself because you’d never, even want it – like, a nasal-hair trimmer, or a hair crimper – but rather, something splendidly unnecessary. For instance, my husband bought me a box of my favourite crisps for my birthday. Splendidly unnecessary, but perfect.

Number three, vouchers and subscriptions are frowned upon. It’s like, well, here’s a suggestion of a present, but no ACTUAL GIFT. Yeah, nah.

With that in mind, here are my splendidly unnecessary gift suggestions, for you – good husbands and life-partners – to buy your lovely, lovely wives and baby-mammas.

Not-rubbish jewellery.

Like, don’t walk into Solid Gold and buy the shiniest thing in the shiny cabinet (unless your lady partner likes shiny things in shiny cabinets – in which case, go nuts). Instead, choose something personal and in-keeping with your lady’s personal style. For instance, my husband bought me a pair of earrings that look like Arnott’s Nice biscuits. NICE BISCUITS. On another occasion, he bought me a bangle engraved with a line from the song we got married to. HE WINS.

Excellent clothes.

Do not be overwhelmed by this. Buying clothes for ladies is not hard. Just look in their wardrobe – or better yet, directly at them – and work out what your wife likes to wear. Check her size, check her style, check the labels of the clothes that she dons, then choose something accordingly. DON’T CHOOSE WHAT YOU’D LIKE HER TO WEAR. Don’t be a deviant about this.

Pretty things for the house.

Not, like, a spatula or a food mixer, or anything remotely useful. I mean, rather, pretty things that mean something. For example, my good husband once bought me a Blur (as in the popular Britpop band) tea set. On another occasion, he presented me with a framed cross-stitch that read “In case of emergency, breakdance”.

Books.

Assuming, of course, that your lady friend can read. And if she can’t, how about an audio book? Or a recipe book? Don’t buy recipe books themed around cooking for children, or cooking with children, or anything children related. This is not the time to acknowledge the children. Forget the children. Someone once bought me a book about craft activities to do with children. I threw it at them.

Something that relates to their hobby.

FYI: motherhood is not a hobby. Do not – for the love of sweet baby Jesus – buy a gift relating to motherhood. Put down the nipple shield, Dave. Step away from that electric breast pump, Nigel. Your lady might enjoy macramé, or running, or line-dancing – buy her something that shows you endorse and encourage her hobby, however unusual it is.
Follow my helpful tips and you’ll win at Christmas. You are WELCOME.

Gifts for Him.

Love this article but still thinking of ideas to buy for the special man in your life? Click here to see our Gifts for Him gift guide.

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