Do You Even Need To Tell People You Are Trying To Fall Pregnant?
When is the right time to tell people you are trying to fall pregnant? Is there a right time? Tricky questions those…. Ultimately the answer is what is right for you and your partner. Telling people you are trying to fall pregnant may increase feelings of pressure if you do find conceiving taking longer than you expected. Or, by telling those close to you that you are trying, you will hopefully have an understanding support network on hand if it becomes apparent that you are struggling to fall pregnant or you suffer a miscarriage – without having to start a difficult conversation.
If you are already the proud parent of one or more then you might find you are asked when you will be trying again – I was surprised to have some people ask me as I was feeding my two day old newborn in the hospital bed! And the very next question asked is likely to be whether you want a baby boy or baby girl next time. It is a very personal issue and completely up to you whether people are told that you are trying to fall pregnant.
We asked Australian mums about their experiences telling people they were trying to fall pregnant.
You are not alone! We asked our community about their experiences telling people they were trying to conceive and here’s what they had to say.
We are about to start trying for another baby. How long would you wait to tell family and friends you’re trying to fall pregnant? Or would you tell them when you conceive?
- It depends on how much you want them to know Brenda
- Always waited till we were 12 weeks. After our 1st, telling everyone and then having a loss! Kaylee
- We didn’t tell anyone that we were trying for another bub except I told my big Sister and best friend Jess
- Don’t! It’s your business. If it takes a while you don’t want them hounding you , and it will be a nice surprise when you do fall pregnant. Amanda
- I would wait until after 12 week scan. Plus it’s too much pressure when others know/ask all the time, especially if it doesn’t happen straight away Teagan
- I wouldn’t tell anyone until I was pregnant again. I wouldn’t want people asking how the conceiving is going… Also I don’t really think it is anyone’s business as to what goes on in my bedroom Emma
- People were asking us and we said we were thinking of trying soon. Then told immediate family & very close friends once we were about 8-10 weeks along. Goodluck Kintara
- I would wait until you have conceived and have passed the 3 months ‘danger zone’ before telling people, even with a second baby, as less stress on you with family/friends pestering you, Jade
- I told my mum but that was it we just waited til we had conceived and told family then didn’t tell everyone else until the 12 week scan Emma
- I told a couple of close friends we were going to try again just so I had someone to be excited with or whinge to if it took too long and then told family and more distant friends once we’d conceived and had dating scan. It depends how close you are to them and how private you like to be! It’s a very individual thing Kelsi
- I find if you tell people you’re trying then they ask if your pregnant a lot and you can just tell they’re waiting for the news. It puts more pressure on you etc. Just wait until you’re pregnant and then tell them Wendy
- It’s totally up to you, hopefully for your sake it doesn’t take long! But if it does take a while the “are you pregnant yet” question gets old and emotionally exhausting Rebecca
- I wouldn’t tell anyone you are trying, takes the pressure off then if it takes longer to conceive. All the best with it Shannon
- It can take longer than hoped/planned/expected. If you tell people, this can lead to THAT question EVERY month. Don’t tell them. Just enjoy the ride Nikki
- We told family and some close friends we were wanting too try around a certain date. I wish we didn’t and just kept it to ourselves. MIL apparently was in too much shock to be happy. (Even though she knew it was coming and isn’t our first..) a.12 week surprise is nicer Erin
- I wouldn’t be telling anybody till we conceived. Too many questions otherwise Rachel
- Wait until your 12 week scan. . Danger period is over.. and you dont need the extra stress while trying Rosemary
- I suggest to wait til after you conceive. It took us nearly 9 months with our second (our first happened right away) and everytime someone asked if i was pregnant yet was a terrible reminder of the struggle we were having. Kirstan
- Don’t tell anyone otherwise you will cope constant questions Sarah
- I wouldn’t discuss it at all! For starters, it puts you under pressure as people will start asking if you’re pregnant yet! I think it’s a personal thing between you and your partner Fiona
- No one needs to know you are ttc Julie-anne
- I’m open and believe everyone knows risks in early stages and how long it can take. It may be hard to let people know you’re struggling but we all understand. Why hide things Michelle
- Both times I just waited until I was pregnant to tell them anything (didn’t want to jinx my chances lol). I told mum, dad, brothers & sisters once I had a dating ultrasound & then waited until 12 – 15 weeks before telling anyone else Shelley
- I would probably wait until I conceived, just in case it takes a while, you never know. I had my birth control taken out in August and didn’t tell anyone, just to see really. I’m 18 weeks now Sophie
- I would tell them after 16 weeks better that way . But when l had my first Bub I told family when I was around 8 weeks I couldn’t wait I was so happy Paula
- We only told one set of friends (next door) that we were trying to conceive #1 and he took us 3 months to conceive I was so glad no family knew but we told everyone as soon as I had a positive test, so for #2 we didn’t tell anyone but we conceived her in the first week and again told everyone at 3 weeks, then #3 told noone cause we didn’t actually get chance we decided to have another and fell pregnant instantly then told people as we saw them so some people knew at 4 weeks others not til she was born and her pics were posted on facebook Bec
- If someone told me they were trying to conceive.. it would weird me out. I know what your doing.. don’t need to know.. and I’d be scared to call or ask you to go out because you might be “busy”. I’d rather be told that you’re pregnant when everything is right. why do you need to tell someone your trying to conceive.. I don’t get it? Sammi
- We didn’t tell many people we were trying to fall pregnant. It took us a while and I didn’t want people asking if we were pregnant yet. Its hard enough when it doesn’t happen straight away Linda
- My partner wanted to talk to his mum about it before I came off the pill. Now nearly all family know and my 2 close friends know. Its good to tell them I think as we can talk to them about stuff. Like I’ve been getting reassurance because my first had gastroschesis, penial distorsion and had to be delivered prem by c section so I’m a bit nervous/excited Tash
- when you feel comfortable. But I’d wait until you conceive. I didn’t tell family until our first scan at 18 weeks. I wanted to know everything was ok. I’m not one for telling people… “I’m 3 weeks” “I’m 8 weeks”. I like to know that everything is absolutely fine before revealing. It’s bad enough getting asked “whens the next one”… I couldn’t imagine telling people we are trying to fall pregnant and having them ask “you preggers yet”? Tiffany