Baby Hints & Tips

Cry it out method

mum trying to get baby to sleepI’m just wondering on other mum’s thoughts about routine sleeping and letting bub cry it out? I am trying to decide if it is right for our family… For those whose kids are older now, do you think the crying out has been a positive/negative thing for them?

  •  Both of mine only cried for 3 nights and only a long time the first night. Now straight to sleep for 13 hours! It is a positive effect because sleep is good for their health!!!! Not recommended for babies under 6 months. Good luck. Xx    Lisa
  •  I did this with my kids. They slept at the same times every day. Sometimes they cried sometimes they didn’t. I only let them cry if it was protesting or grizzlies. If they got hysterical or worked themselves up I would cuddle them till they settled down a bit and put them back into bed. Routine is awesome for helping babies sleep. My 4 week old is already starting a routine and sleeping great. My older kids (3 & 7) are now great sleepers. They occasionally try to fight bedtime on weekends or special occasions but they still to this day do at least 11 hours a night and are no worse for it. They don’t feel abandoned or unloved or any of the other crap people say. I don’t let my 4 week old cry it out but he “knows” bedtime and doesn’t really cry about it.   Bianca
  •  With my first born I did the cry it out method and it worked a treat. I think as parents if we are comfortable with all and any methods we have to try them all as one will work better than others. People will tell you that to just let them cry with no interaction from you is detrimental to that child, but I completely disagree. Remember that all our parents/grandparents etc used this method with all of us as kids. I know I’m not mentally distressed from crying as a baby! As long as your child is fed, clean nappy, good temperature and safe, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t use that CIO method. My 2nd born I used a different method as I couldn’t deal with the long crying session. Just do what YOU feel comfortable with.   Jayme-Lee
  •  Routine sleeping – definitely. I tried many times for bub to self settle but it didn’t really ‘click’ for him until he was 12mo and I had had enough…I walked out of the room and he cried so hard for 2min then it went quiet. He was asleep!! Self settled every night since then. He still cries sometimes, other times he just lies down. But we both know that I don’t need to be in there helping.   Emily
  •  With my first I ended up doing controlled crying, it worked short term, but long term its made her very clingy and full of anxiety. I didn’t do it with our 2nd who still happily breastfeeds off to sleep and we still get lots of sleep and she is a happy independent little girl. I’ll be staying in contact and co-sleeping with our 3rd too. Makes for much more confident and independent children who know its ok to ask for help sometimes. Also I didn’t do the controlled crying till she was over 12mths as prior she was just naturally a good sleeper, she just stopped wanting to go to bed, if I could go back and do over I’d go and spend time sitting/laying her room until she went to sleep as contrary to popular thought it’s such a short time they need you.   Suzannah
  •  I personally do not agree with the cry it out method.My daughter is 1 and I have laid down with her to put her to sleep since she was born. She is an excellent sleeper; she sleeps from 6:30-6 every night. I couldn’t do it, I’d feel to guilty and like everyone says “do what you’re comfortable with doing”. My daughter just lies down near me and goes off to sleep very quickly, 10.mins max she sleeps in her cot all night to!   Tiani
  •  For us this was the best this long we could have done. Our 2yr old now never protests bed time, we just take her to bed say good night and close the door! We have just started with our younger one as she was becoming very demanding and it’s only taken a week and more often than not she self settles.   Simone
  •  My ds is 5mths and of a night time its a struggle to get him to self settle i let him cry it out but go in to him if he gets really distraught.    Tash
  •  I did a routine with my ds as a first time mum. It involved letting him cry. He’s a wonderful sleeper now (no routine at all) but I started at 6 weeks and its one of my biggest parenting regrets. If I could go back I wouldn’t have started until much much later (6m +) and just cuddled my beautiful baby. If we have more I will gently teach self settling but will not do a strict routine and will not leave my baby to cry.    Vanessa
  •  I don’t believe in just letting them cry if its an emotional cry but if its protesting with pauses, that is bub self settling. Or learning to! There’s a big difference between emotional crying and protesting. Babies don’t have words to use so they will cry!   Wrin
  •  We did the cry it out method. Has worked a treat. Obviously we didn’t let him get to the point of distress. Now he sleeps 12 hours a night and 3-4 hours through the day. He is 17 months and we are currently taking the dummy off him so he has had to cry it out a little for sleep time but last night he only cried 5 mins and asleep. Good luck. U know whats best.   Felicia
  •  We did something similar with our 1st when we took the dummy away at 3 months. He wanted his thumb but we’d been told to use dummy instead. After sleeping thru from 8 wks it got to the stage before 3 months that we were up 15 times per night when he lost his dummy. We were then told to control cry. So we re-entered his room every few minutes that gradually extended up to 8 mins. 1st night was hardest then 2nd night better & by 3rd night he was not crying at all. Turns out we never did that with our other children who are all totally fine & it is our 1st that has emotional issues & is seeing a therapist at age 8. Does it stem from those 2-3 nights of CC at such a tender age? Maybe / maybe not, I’ll never know but I sure feel guilty about following the advice I was given.   Nix
  •  My son is 10.5 months old and I’ve let him cry it out (naps, wanting to be picked up…etc) and we’ve been fine. He’s definitely learnt that he won’t always get his way!   Zoe
  •  Controlled crying is not for us – tried it on baby #1 and vowed never ever again. We have successfully parented our children to sleep (look up Pinky McKay and her awesome methods) and have wonderful sleepers. If bub needs you to lie down with them for tem minutes then do it – I play candy crush on my phone while my toddler goes to sleep at night. My Step Daughter was allowed to cry it out and she is the only kid with sleep issues – my husband swears it’s not from that, but I’m not convinced. Kids need love and closeness in my opinion – not abandonment.    Vanessa
  •  Positive!! After a few days of training we had no tears at nap times. I saw a more confident baby that was no longer freaking out because boobie, dummy or mummy wasn’t there to get her to sleep. Routine also was excellent for us as the scheduled nap and eat times went perfectly with her age, the witching hour disapered and I learnt to read her cues much more clearly rather than breast feeding to cure every squeak. Only advice if you do try it is to be consistent, if you are not you are sending mixed messages to the baby and makes matters worse. If you are happy with how things are in your family then continue doing what you’ve been doing – there are no rules, its your baby. But if you and baby are not happy then it’s an excellent time to start something new. Never too late.   Mary
  •  I did it with my daughter at 7 months old, she was waking up every hour during the night just for me to go and put the dummy back in, she went to sleep by herself but then at 11 it would start. The first night she cried for 33mins then slept through, second night was 22 mins then slept through, third night was 5 mins and from then on she slept through every night. She is 4 now & has no sleeping issues other than the usual ‘stalling’ at bed time, wanting to go to the toilet 3 times, wanting a drink etc etc. Was possibly the hardest parenting decision I’ve had to make but it did us the world of good. Every family is different though, remember to make the right decision for your family and don’t let other people influence you!    Emma
  •  Negative experience here!
  • We tried it with our now 3yr old and found it traumatised him about going to bed. He was upset and really didn’t like his bed and would scream every time he went near it. We found he only cried when he really needed something and if that was us sitting beside him whilst he was in the cot then that’s what he needed. So it was a negative experience for us. As they say little ones cry for a reason as the world is a very new place for them and we found this to be true for us.    Cassandra
  •  I’m not one for letting my baby scream until he was inconsolable but letting them cry a little won’t hurt them. We let our boys cry and found it worked i have to admit the first week was the hardest we have done it twice as we have a 2 yr old and a 9 month old, our sleeping issues started around 3 months. it hasn’t affected them in any way I have two babies that sleep 12 hours through the night and only wake if there is something wrong with them, they are very active healthy happy boys the only thing I will say is after 9 months my son has only started to stop fighting the night time sleep.   Alanna
  •  All you can do is give it a try, if your not comfortable with it or you see it’s not working then stop have you tried a sleep school? There really good.    Bethany
  •  It never worked for my kids an when I did try it made bedtime stressful and emotional and try NEVER had a good sleep when I did it… As you said it’s not for everyone.    Jacinta
  •  We used controlled crying when my son was little. And will again for our next bub (due in dec) I didn’t start too early and the age of my son dictated how long we left him to cry. I knew my sons cries and I knew when it was just a sook and I could leave him and when he really needed a cuddle. It has saved our sanity, and my son has slept through the night from 4 weeks old. He quite often puts himself to sleep when he’s tired, even during the day. Controlled crying hasn’t affected my son in any negative way. He doesn’t get upset at bedtime, he plays independently but still really enjoys cuddles and games/activities we can do together.    Katie
  •  All you can do is give the method a go. This is the only way you will know if this method is right for your family. I personally am very uncomfortable with the cry it out method as I get very upset when my daughter gets really worked up. If you find this way isn’t for you and your family there are other methods you can try and use.   Couteney
  •  Personally I have never let my children cry themselves to sleep. My Husband and I discussed it very early on and decided that it would not be right for us. I did some research and found some studies that showed it had long lasting effects. I also have a friend who used the technique who has told me she is worried that it changed her child’s personality. Good luck with your decision.   Jeni
  •  Sleep schools do cry it out, they say they don’t but they do. My experience (was pushed into cc with my first) made bed time even harder and he has emotional issues now, at 10 years old. The first years are always going to be the hardest, don’t ruin their entire lives by letting them cry.    Simone
  •  I think Routine is very important for bubs. I started at roughly 3.5 to 4 months with hands on settling. Before that we were spending ages (hours) putting Bub to bed. So every sleep time I will stay in his room until he is about to fall asleep then leave. If he is not in the mood and wants to play I leave until he crys. Then go in to settle. I think you go with what works for you as a family. For us I know I wouldn’t be able to listen to bubs cry for an extended period of time and with CIO you have to be consistent. Good luck    Kristie
  •  I am ashamed to admit that we used CIO with our first born she is almost 5 now and I blame CIO entirely for her sleeping patterns now. I wish I could go back in time and just hold my baby safe in my arms until she drifted off to sleep. I wish I could lay in bed with her and cuddle while she goes to sleep knowing how loved and protected she is. We have 2 other children now and now that we know better, we do better. I urge you to seriously research the CIO method. I wish someone would have warned me before I had children, I will be forever guilty for the way we let our daughter cry it out.   Kristy
  •  Sometimes it’s so hard to listen to their cries it really does hurt your heart but you need to distinguish the distressed cry and the protest cry.are there breaks in the cries? Does it sound like baby is shouting for your attention? we decided to do self settling as I knew I would be going back to full time work and doing shift work so we couldn’t have a baby that needed mummy to rock her while standing on one foot facing north east and doing a jiggle at the same time it was really hard those first couple of times but it worked very well in our house and I have a baby that I can put down to go to bed just about anywhere without any crying. Personally I think it’s cruel to do something for your child like rocking them to sleep if you know you do not intend to do it when they are a little older (and heavier)-which I know I don’t have the luxury of being able to do our bub is 10 months old now and bed times have been easy and stress free for a long time!    Amanda
  •  I believe CIO is the reason my four year old suffers from separation anxiety.  And we didn’t even do it fully.  People need to remember that babies are too young to manipulate you into doing things (comforting them) by crying.   Alicia
  •  Personally we were not one for trying it, but after advice from others after a bad week with our daughter waking every hour or so we tried the controlled crying thing and moved her into her own room- she slept 6 hrs in one hit. It hurt me to listen to her upset but if we went into her she would want to play and get up and fight sleep all the time. Personally it has had a positive experience on us- she is now 15 months old and sleeps 11-14 hrs a night.   Rachel
  •  We did the tizzie hall routine with our 27 month old and our 6 month old. We started our eldest son on it at 12 weeks following just the feeding guidelines to start and the sleep just followed naturally for him. Our second son was a different kettle of fish!!! We started him the same age and pattern but he still sometimes protests when we put him to bed! Neither have a dummy but they both have teddies. Absolute positive experience for us! Good luck.   Kate
  •  I generally let them cry (to an extent) you know your baby enough to know if it’s a cry that won’t stop and that they may need a hug/comfort. Then there is the time you know they are tired but won’t give in so I let them cry;) there is no right or wrong it’s what works best for you and your family;) try both and see what works best;)    Lauren
  •  Toddlers need boundaries, so if you are going to do it, stick to it. I did it and it helped, especially when cutting down on feeds during the night and for self settling of day sleeps. I used Tizzie Halls “Save our Sleep” technique. However routines will get out of whack at times.    Karina
  •  I started doing the cry it out when my son was 4 months and he is 8 months now and I’m sooo glad I did it but I’m also glad I waited till he was a bit older. I’m so happy I had those first few months to just cuddle him to sleep.    Symone
  •  I tried cry it out one night out of desperation. I just couldn’t handle it. I know some people who have done it with great success and some who have done it with poor results but stick to it anyway because there’s still weirdly a lot of pressure to have a perfectly sleeping child. I say it depends on the child and the parent. Some kids are too sensitive and won’t deal with it. Some parents (like me) hate every second of cry it out and in turn hate themselves the next day. If you can do it and it works, great! If not, there are tons of other sleep methods and the good old “go with your gut” instinct too.    Rhiannon
  •  There is too much research that CIO is damaging.    Emma
  •  Read this post about controlled crying and research that shows that even if babies sleep more and settle after a few days of controlled crying techniques their cortisol levels (stress hormone) stays really high! Poor little munchkins! https://www.facebook.com/…/posts/541553479244637     Tenielle
  •  It was probably one of the best things we ever did with my now almost three year old. At 11 months he was still waking hourly, we had tried everything we possibly could before just letting him cry. It was damn hard, & I think I cried more than I did but the third night he only woke up twice. It’s not for everyone, but for us it was the only thing that worked. It taught us a lot and we learnt what bad habits we had set in and made sure we didn’t do the same thing with his baby brother.   Michelle
  •  I tried it, but he would get himself so worked up it lasted longer and longer. I gave up after 3 hours and by then we were both crying. Instead I switched to sitting in the room. Took 4 nights of reassurance and the odd patting and now he is able to put himself to sleep and he sleeps through most nights with the odd wake up here and there. He is about to turn 2 and we corrected all this behavior in the last 5 weeks.   Jana
  •  I don’t believe in it but everyone is different. I didn’t use cry it out at all as my son suffered with terrible reflux as a bub as I always had a great fear that if he went to to bed screaming and unsettled it would be worse and or he would be sick from screaming so much that he wouldn’t sleep at all (issues with pain and burning from reflux). I am very lucky in the fact that my son slept through from 7 weeks just after reflux was diagnosed and yes there have been a few sleepless nights here and there but he is happy to go to bed. He has just turned two and will quite often just lay himself down and go to sleep with no issues. Most nights he will go to sleep if I sit at the end of his bed other nights we need to lay down with him. In the end if he goes to bed in a calmer environment he sleeps all night with no problem. Whatever works for your family. Although I don’t see any harm in trying the cry it out method.   Cheryl
  •  I started my dd on the SOS method at 5 weeks. As we started so early it became routine straight away and the CIO method wasn’t really needed. Sometimes there was a little grizzle about being put down but it wasn’t emotional crying so I just left her to self settle. It wasn’t easy to start with but it was the best thing I could have done for her. She has thrived on the routine and now at 19 months she sleeps from 7pm to 7am and bed time is a breeze. No complaints. She just snuggles down and says nigh nighs and goes straight to sleep. Often falling asleep before I even walk out of the room. My dd’s behaviour is proof enough for me that there is no long term damage done. Reviews are great but usually are done to prove someone’s theory so take everything you read with a grain of salt and just make a decision that suits you and your child. Good luck!    Leanne
  •  I think it depends on the age or situation! I think over 2 years old, then definitely! But prior to 2, it’s a judge the situation basis. My son is 17 months and he isn’t one to cry a lot so I tend to deal with him crying when he does but if you know they are well, fed, dry etc and it’s just an attention thing then yes! Each mum to their own but you need to do whatever works for you!    Amy
  •  I did it with both my kids. I wouldn’t let them get hysterical but they would cry and grizzle. I think it was the best thing to help my kids learn that they don’t need to be in mummy or daddy’s arms to fall asleep. Every bub is different though and all you can do is try. My kids are now 2.8yrs and 13m. I started at 6m with both.   Louisa
  •  I would let your instincts as a mother guide you, they are the closest you get to a handbook and won’t let you down! I still let my one year old breastfeed to sleep and we co-sleep as well. I was worried this would mean he wouldn’t be able to put himself to sleep, but lately he is still wide awake after a feed, so I just lay down next to him, sing to him and pat his back. Usually he is asleep within 5-10 minutes! Seems he is growing out of feeding to sleep. Anyway, every baby is different and every family is different. I think if you’re going to try CIO then you will figure out pretty quickly whether its something you are willing to follow through with. If you do, persistence is key so as not to confuse you’re LO. There’s so much conflicting advice on this, as with everything to do with parenting! From my own research, CIO will give you fairly fast results, it just depends whether you feel its right for you. Personally I love the closeness I have with cuddling, feeding, patting, rocking to sleep, but I only have one child and don’t work so I understand that other people’s situation may warrant a quick sleep solution. Best of luck with whatever you decide!    Emma
  •  We used save our sleep. It calls for controlled crying. We started at 5 months. The first week was hard but he got the hang of it really quickly. Now he is perfectly routine goes to bed happy wakes up happy. He’s 20 months now and haven’t looked back. I know it’s not for everyone but we swear by it. Good luck.   Katherine
  •  I did routines with my dd from about 3 months and never had any issues. I didn’t use CIO but taught her to self settle. I used bits from SOS but not too the letter. I’d let her grizzle but any actual crying and I would (and still do) go in there and sort it out. I slowly got her to learn to self settle- I always put her down awake, had a little routine for every sleep and started by patting her to sleep, the moved to just being present, then eventually could leave the room as soon as I put her down with no issues. I think a mistake people make is thinking the options are just co-sleeping/cuddling to sleep and CIO. There is a vast spectrum in between that preserve your sanity without letting your baby get overly distressed. You’ve just got to find what works.    Anneke
  •  My 2 year old has slept in his own bed since he was born, He is still in a cot because he sleeps all over the place and I’m scared of him falling out of bed. Ill be moving him by Christmas though. On the odd occasion that we did have bad nights, (night terrors, teething, sick), i just snuggled him in my bed until he fell asleep again and put him back in his cot. The only time we have let him cry is if he is over tired and just wants to stay up, after 10 minutes of crying/yelling/etc he is out cold. He has a dummy, but only at bed time. My hubby is a shift worker which is hard sometimes too, but i stick to what we both agreed is best for us all.    Lou
  •  We did the same control crying when he was close to 4 months and it was a matter of a week that he sleeps though the whole night, now he is 28 months sleep from 8pm to 7~8 am in a twin bed without waking up or crawling out from his bed.   Elizabeth
  •  I guess it depends on the age of the child and what you mean by cry it out. My 2 girls are now 5 and nearly 15 months. We start self settling at 2-4 weeks old. There is some initial crying involved but if you follow a good routine feed, play, sleep and the same nap time process they learn very quickly that its time to sleep. Learning to self settle at a young age prevents having to let them cry it out when they’re older. Both our kids are in bed by 7pm and have slept through from 3-5 months. Some nights i hear them wake but they just talk or sing to themselves and resettle. They are both very happy little girls. Our family is happy, everyone is getting enough sleep. So I haven’t had to let them cry it out because they are happy to go to bed.    Joelene
  • I did it with my first and have always regretted it. That was just my own personal experience.    Leigh-Anne
  •  It worked for us, but you really have to be committed to giving it a real try and not give in. We did it when our son was about 9 months old, as soon as we put him down he would stand up and cry. There were multiple occasions when he fell asleep in an awkward position but it was ok, and he slept! For a while he used the crying as a way to self settle, but the crying time reduced from 45min (intermittent, more of a protest cry) to 5min over about a month and then he stopped. He has since consistently slept through and is happy to go to bed, and recently at 22 months we took the side off his cot with no issues- I thought this would be a major problem 12 months ago! I am so glad we did it, but it was hard! If you decide to do it, make sure you have someone there to support you the first 2 nights and keep yourself busy rather than just sitting and listening. Good luck!    Lucy
  •  I think it depends on the baby/child.. We did try cry it out method but our dd developed a bad association with her bedroom and that’s why we stopped, she would scream as soon as we walked in there whether it was to change her nappy or sleep time. It doesn’t work for every child but if you want to try go for it and good luck!!    Melissa
  •  I didn’t really use it with my girls… I have to say, they were ‘perfect babies’…. It wasn’t until my 2nd was 18 months that I really did CIO and it was the best thing I ever did. My 10 month son on the other hand has been quite difficult and I have used CIO from 5 months….. Again, for me personally it has worked. Even if he’s been asleep for 20 minutes and wakes up, he will have a little gizzle but self settle and go back to sleep. I just wasn’t coping having 2 school age kids and a baby who wanted to be glued to me 24/7 so afyer trying other methods and failing, CIO was my last option and it worked.    Rachael
  •  I did control crying with first, she was 14 months old. I dont think earlier than about 9-10months it will help, they have no understanding. I was devastated when we did start doing it, and it was 2am when i decided we would! We had 4 month of getting up every 1/2 -1 hour and we couldn’t keep it up, we were falling asleep when driving, at work, and i work in medical profession, i was scared i would hurt a patient. So i went in at 2, settled her again, then closed door over, not shut, just over, waited 30 secs, i hated myself, i knelt on the floor crying, and sent hubby in to resettle, then we did it again, and i went in. We took turns, and 2 hours later she slept till 7. We did it again the next night, and it took an hour for her to resettle and sleep. THE 3rd night, it lasted maybe 20mins, and that was it, she has slept through since, apart from the occasional nightmare or illness and she is now 3.5. We did also try before doing this, having her in our bed, no-one slept properly, one of us would sleep on floor in her room and sing to her and hand hold through cot, didn’t help she would still frequently wake, had a mattress on floor in our room. She used to be an angel when having a sleep at nanna’s or grandma’s, so think it was her just needing us close to her, but mentally and physically we could not keep it up. Her bedroom was right next to ours as well. We have a 9 month old now, who is a shocking day sleeper, but sleeps through most nights, when i can get her into bed! Have just started popping her in bed, letting her cry for a minute or so, then going in and settling to sleep, really hoping don’t have to repeat cc, but we will if we have to. My sister also does it, and her 3 children now sleep really well. A friend also does it and her 3 are also gd sleepers. Do what feels right for you and your situation don’t let anyone judge you, whatever settling method you want to try, it’s your baby and your lifestyle. I wish you best of luck oxox    Merridee
  •  Crying it out never worked for me, my eldest would become hysterical and cry for hours… My youngest ill let cry for a few mins while I have a breather as he becomes hysterical to and doesn’t fall asleep.   Kirraleigh
  •  I spent 6months (from 10months to 16months) lying by my daughters cot for up to 2hrs a night. It was hell at the time, left me with no ‘me’ time. However to this day I am thankful that I did it and didn’t leave her alone and upset. We have a video monitor and you could see what was going in etc. she’d almost drift off then jump up to check I was there. Separation anxiety I think. Even if she could see my foot she was often ok. One day she just stopped it and was ok. Check out safe sleep space by Helen Stevens. I found it very useful. My daughters now 25months and is a pretty good sleeper.    Kellie
  •  IMHO ‘cry it out’ is the wrong words for what I think most parents do when they use this method. Most of us, I think, don’t know the difference between whinging and crying. I think, there is certainly a misnomer in this case, and that if different words where used and a different, less negative stigma was attached to helping parents teach their baby’s to get to sleep and differentiate between the types of cries we’d have fewer of these types of heated debates and also perhaps less guilt ridden parents, and more settled baby’s.
  • I like to believe that most parents do not mean they are leaving a hysterical baby to cry themselves to sleep, more likely that its a protesting whinge, and that these studies etc that show negative results about this ‘method’ are when a child has been left to become hysterical.
  • My DD 11 was taught to self sooth around the age of 10-12 months. It took about a week for her to not protest at bed time. She never became hysterical and nor did she protest/whinge for long before we could see the cycle of noise to quiet start to lengthen, then we knew she was on the way. She is a happy healthy wonderful preteen. As for DD 21 months we have never been able to do something similar because she, when she’s not ready for bed, is hysterical from the moment we start the walk down the hall to her bedroom, but, when she’s ready to sleep she’s like a silent little lamb.    Melissa
  •  I lightly held my son down at bed time and tapped his bum cause when he started rolling he would not go to sleep only took 2wks and he did it on his own and is now 4 and is a brilliant sleeper would have a nap at midday with not much fuss and sleeps (even now) from 6pm -6.30am u got to find what works for u as it isnt for everyone, all I can say is u must be consistent if u try something don’t give up after a day try it for 2wks if it doesn’t work try something new. Goodluck.    Vanessa
  •  I did cio with my first baby at Torren’s House in Adelaide (he is nearly 18 now) – I hated it and tbh don’t think it worked all that well. I have since had two more and didn’t do cio with either of them. They haven’t been great sleepers even if we co-sleep but my middle is 5 now and in her own bed. They are little for such a short amount of time. Not to mention the horrible feeling I get in the pit of my stomach just thinking about crying it out – it never goes away and I feel guilty for doing it with my first – wish we never had.    Michelle
  •  I only did this when my daughter was over 1yr old and could understand. I never let her become hysterical. It was used when she would more so have a tantrum because she doesn’t want to sleep which she still does now at 3. I never completely left her I’d come back say it’s bed time lay her down then the next time not say anything just lay her down. I think once they can communicate I’m comfortable with letting them cry a bit (not hours though). With my 4 month old I let her grizzle and whinge a little when i put but never get to the point of actually crying and I won’t leave the room because if it’s something other than I’m just cranky or don’t want to sleep she can’t communicate that and for all I know it could be teething or tummy pain.    Kerri-Anne
  •  I personally couldn’t do it. My husband was left to cry it out by his mother & he has serious self esteem & abandonment issues as an adult. My little girl has always been a clingy, cuddly kid & was a dreadful sleeper from day 1. So many people told me the only way she would get better was to do CC or CIO. At 12.5 months, she is now a much better sleeper. It still can take a while yo get her to sleep at times but she is sleeping through most nights now & sleeping 2-3 hours in the day. I am pleased that I went with my gut & the research I had done, that she would get there eventually without me needing to ‘train’ her by leaving her to cry. Go with your gut & font be pressured by others who tell you there is no other way.   Renee
  •  I’ve used cry it out with my 16mo coz she became reliant on me to get to sleep. It’s very hard to hear them cry but in my case she didn’t cry for long at all and it makes it a bit easier knowing that there’s not actually anything wrong. It definitely is worth a try it’s not like u would do it for months at a time coz it should only take about a week to work if not then stop or if it doesn’t feel right for u stop. I also strongly recommend Tizzie hall save our sleep self settling guide. Which is what i used.   Ebony
  •  I used attachment parenting with our now 2.5yo and while it meant a bit less sleep some nights and sharing our bed we have a almost perfectly behaved, intelligent and secure child now! No terrible twos in sight!!! We wouldn’t change a thing.    Brooke
  •  My eldest now 13 was a terrible sleeper, we did 2 sleep clinics using cc and cio, she put herself to bed last night at 8 because she was tired. She doesn’t seem to be ‘scarred for life’ because she needed to be taught the skills of falling asleep unassisted.  I would also add that my best sleeper (out of 5 kids) is my son who spent the first 3 weeks of his life in hospital; the nurses were not always able to settle him every time he cried. I brought home a baby who simply fell asleep when he was tired as he had already learnt there was no point making a fuss and it was ok because he would see mum and have his needs met when he woke IMO.   Andrea
  •  I think that a bit of crying is ok, never ignore an emotional cry. My DD is 8 now and I don’t think it had any effect on her…    Olivia
  •  Read my 18 month old to sleep, sometimes it takes one book, sometimes 5. She also slept with us for the first 9 months and in our room until 12 months. I don’t regret any of it. I don’t expect her to be able to go to sleep easily every night. I know I can’t.    Annika
  •  It worked for us. I was completely against CIO until i had kids! You don’t leave them for ages. At first we went in every minute or two, until he finally went to sleep (some times it didn’t work at all). as he got older the times got longer. he now goes to bed at night bang on 7 with no grumbles what so ever.   Bek
  •  99% of the time I do Not CIO. But every once in a while, due to utter exhaustion, I do. It rarely takes more than a few minutes and I always wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. You can tell when they are whingy-crying and properly terrified-crying. I never let it get to that stage.   Belinda
  •  We have done CIO with both our kids; our 1st now 17mth goes no bed no fuss. She never cries or mucks around, we put her in her cot she lays down and doesn’t move till she wakes up. Our 2nd 5mths old will mostly do the same as his sister occasionally he will cry but never more than a minute. If he is truly upset and cries for more than a couple minutes we get him have a cuddle to settle him check his nappy and put him back to bed and he goes to sleep. Both sleep right through the night.    Lauren
  •  We never bothered with #1 as she would just fall asleep at 7 and that was it even now at 4.5 she’s out at 7! With #2 she spent the first 4weeks in special care in an incubator and could only be held every 4hours so without meaning to we sort of did CIO/cc when she came home she was great till 18mo then wouldn’t sleep so we did CIO again and we also got her a nightlight as we found she was afraid of the dark, now at 3.5 she’s asleep bang on 7 just like her older sister, with #3 she also spent first 3weeks in special care but was never a whingy/etc child she would just go to sleep at the same time regardless of anything (no dummy etc too) then at 18mo she became difficult an wouldn’t sleep we swapped her room around gave her a night light and now at 2 she’s in bed at 7 and usually comes out 2-3 times but will be asleep by 8 now with #4 she was in nicu/special care first 8weeks but is just like #3 very rarely ever crys and bang on nap time she’s out even if not in bed! And just like #1 she’s out at 7pm for the night, I think you just need to find what works for each child and go with it! All mine preferred to be left alone to fall asleep but each had diff preferences beforehand i.e. #1 bottle then bed in quiet an darkness with dummy to fall asleep #2 bottle then bed with nightlight dummy an blanky to fall asleep #3 bottle in bed then take off her when empty and ‘play’ to fall asleep with nightlight #4 bottle in bed then take off her when empty, dummy and quiet music in darkness to fall asleep.   Amy
  •  I have 4 kids 1st one was painful it took a while to get him in routine he’s 10 now and still lays in his bed and won’t go to sleep for ages! second and third we did as well and successful went well eventually they went to bed didn’t cry at all and were asleep within 15 mins they are 8 and 5 now and still good and are asleep quickly. my forth is 10 weeks so not going to do it for a while but he’s pretty good anyways he wants to be in his cot to go to sleep! (Hopefully that lasts!) good luck on whatever you want to do every child is different and every parent parents differently there is no instruction manual so do what YOU feel is right!    Rebecca
  •  We started CC at around 7 months with our son. It was absolutely heartbreaking the first night and the crying lasted about 2 hours before he fell asleep. 2nd night half an hour 3rd night around 15mins 4th night nothing!!!! He’s 2.5 now and after a story in bed and goodnight kiss he’s straight to sleep no problem. Also when he went into a big boy bed he never got out once and sleeps 12 hours easily. I personally think it was harder for me than him and going in every 10mins to lay him back down reminded him I was there. Hope this helps just be strong and persistent and remember every child is different.   Sarah
  •  My son was the worst sleeper when he was a baby…..woke every 40mins wanting me to help him back to sleep. We tried everything……feeding, rocking, co-sleeping EVERYTHING but nothing worked for him……he would just scream. It got to a stage where I could not function on having 2-3 hours of broken sleep a night. I started getting depressed and could not function properly. I ended up following Tizzie Halls routine and it worked. At the time I cried and cried and hated hearing him cry…..it was hard! Though, it was controlled. We never let him just cry it out until he fell asleep….if he was stressed we would go in and cuddle/comfort him. He did NOT cry for hours (maybe 20 mins max) and he stopped after the 3rd night. He is now 2 and has been a PERFECT sleeper for a long time. I now get a full 8-9 hours sleep myself and have lots of energy to spend quality time with him and my husband. Looking back it was the hardest thing I had to do but it was definitely the best thing we did (for all of us).    Melissa
  •  I copped a lot of flak for doing controlled crying with my son when he was only 4 weeks old. It’s amazing how quickly they learn that if they cry they’ll be picked up. It got to the point where I had to hold him pretty much 24/7. He wasn’t wet, hungry or sick etc, he just wanted to be held all day and night. I know they don’t recommend it until 12 months or at the very least 6 but I was a mess with only getting around an hour/ 2 hours sleep a day and my mum suggested I at least try it as she did it with my brother and I when we were that age. Its heart breaking at first but within a couple days they are a completely different baby and my son has slept through from 7:30 – 7:30 since he was 6 weeks old. He’s only 6 months old now but is a very happy baby so it hasn’t had any negative effect on him.    Jessie
  •  My experience is the same as Bianca (just so I’m not writing out the same thing ) Our kids are well adjusted, confident and secure, so no ‘damage’ from being left to cry (grizzle and protest)    Kate
  •  I have used cc with all four of my boys. My eldest is 5 and so far there are no issues. They all sleep well, no attachment issues, no nothing. Being the massive differences of opinions, I believe that methods like this don’t have any detrimental effect on children – if they are going to have attachment issues or anything else, then they more than likely would have those same issues regardless of the process you use to get them to sleep. In saying that cc works for some, and not for others. You just find what works for you and your babies x    Sonia
  •  I used a CIO technique for my son from and early age and think its the best thing I did. He started sleeping thru at 8 weeks old. He is now 2 and a half and looks forward to his nap time and bed time ( never protests ). He is such a good sleeper too, sleeps for 2 and a half hours at nap time and 12 hours overnight. He rarely wakes during the night too unless he is sick. I will def be using CIO for my next children too.    Danilelle


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