Baby Hints & Tips

Considering abortion after relationship breakdown

Considering AbortionHi, I have just come out of a relationship two weeks ago. I already have a three year old to a different guy whom I was with for five years. This recent relationship only lasted 6 months. I’ve just taken two positive pregnancy tests. I’m unsure as what to do. I financially can’t afford another child on my own, I don’t have the option of getting back with the father, I’m also studying for my career which I am so close to and another child would push that further away. I haven’t told the father yet and i am booking a doctors appointment for tomorrow. I feel selfish for personal and family reasons for considering an abortion but I’m at my wits end and really don’t know what to do. Im asking for advice, not hate. Thank you all in advance.

  • Good luck with your choice, and it is your choice, only you know what is right for you and your existing child and you need to do what is right for you now and long term. I personally would make sure to get some counseling but all yr reasons are valid and you need to be comfortable with whatever yr decision is.
    I wish you the best would be very hard to have to go through this alone and at the end of a relationship, I feel for you and wish you peace with yr decision. Belinda
  • I personally would not go through with the pregnancy, and have one. I think you have valid reasons to not continue. Yes careers can wait but study will only get harder with two children.Try not to listen to everyone else and make your own decision! No one has to live with your life but yourself! Hollie
  • its totally up to you….i have done it for my own reasons, you have to do what is right for YOU! Jodie
  • I would go ahead with an abortion in your shoes. In this decision, you should consider only yourself. Exclude what others would think or say-they don’t even know and don’t have to. Tell your Dr that you need to speak to someone about your decision first. He/she can refer you to a councillor who can help you see which way to go. Jodi
  • Please don’t have the abortion. You will always wonder what if? You will be guilty for years after. Don’t you think your 3 year old would love a brother or sister. Careers can wait. Please reconsider. Yes the situation is not ideal, however how do you know what is going to happen? Much love ❤️ Dee
  • You know what’s right for you love… I’ve been there and done it myself; it’s hard but you’re thinking of everyone’s future.. Much love and best wishes for your future xxx Josie
  • I really feel for you, what a hard position to be in. You need to do what’s right for you and if that’s an abortion then that’s what you need to do. Every situation is different, no one can tell you what’s right they aren’t in your position. You don’t want to resent the child, so if an abortion is what you feel you need to do, then do it. If your unable to talk to the father to even tell him you’re pregnant then you obviously can’t rely on him to support you and as you’ve said you can’t afford another child you would at least need his financial support. Don’t beat yourself up if you need to have an abortion for personal reasons, you have my full support what is worth xxx Sarah
  • Sounds to me like you have already made your decision. Having an abortion is a personal choice and nobody should ever hold it against you. If u go ahead with the termination I advise u to say nothing to the father. This just causes more drama and hurt. You should move forward in your quest to better yourself and your child. U will always feel guilty for the termination it’s the way we are programmed as mothers but it would be worse to neglect your current child and yourself just to bring another person into the world whom you couldn’t look after. There is always the choice for an open adoption. It may be hard but then u don’t have to deal with the moral side of a termination. Whatever u decide to do, make sure you have someone to confide in, someone that will support you through your decision and you should be able to talk to this person in the future about your feelings as u can possibly fall into a depression, much like miscarriage or still birth etc. take care of yourself. Talk to someone- a dr, friend, parent or councillor. All the best. Vynka
  • If you feel like you can’t give that child the life it needs then you need to make the best decision you can. Whether it is adoption or abortion. Good luck, I can’t be him to understand your situation, but all the best with whatever you choose x Rebecca
  • Hi there, before i get started, let me first say that PERSONALLY i am dead against an abortion, however, i do believe that it’s not my place to push the whole “anti-abortion” pledge on people. If you feel that it is what would be in your and your families best interest, then do what is right for you, the only opinions that truely matter here are yours and that of the father whom you stated doesn’t know yet? Make sure that you don’t go into the doctors with your mind closed on abortion! There are lots of people out there that would kill for a baby, if you think you could handle the pregnancy but not the raising, maybe look at adoption, but i think you definitely need to talk to the father, you never know, He may be willing and wanting to be a father FULLTIME with or without you as his partner 🙂 Good luck! Krystal

 

 

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  1. Tiffany says:

    that is a hard situation to be in. only you can know what is best for you and your family. do you have someone you can speak to? any employee assistance programs for some free counseling before you decide? There is no rush. you have a few weeks. never let anyone tell you what is right, either way. saying a prayer for you. xo

  2. Name (required) says:

    You amazing woman. Having the courage to seek advice on an issue that I’m sure is tearing you up. You have to do what is right for you. Don’t listen to the negatives that I’m sure is out there. No one has walked in your shoes and no one will. Only you will. This is an incredibly hard decision and some may not agree with your reasoning but you are the one person who has to deal with whatever decision you make. And it is your decision and no one else’s. You will make the right choice for you. Stay strong for you and your 3 year old. You are doing an amazing job and will continue to do an amazing job with whatever decision you make. Just take your time as a decision like this can’t be reversed. My thoughts are with you.

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