I just gave birth. I was terrified of the whole process, that was until I went into labour. Leading up to my due date I started to worry about what type of mother I would make, how my partner and I would cope with this new addition and how my life would never be the same again.
My labour begun when I woke at 4am to find what we later discovered was my water breaking. At the time it was pretty nerve racking as instead of clear water coming out of me, it was as if I had just gotten a period after 9 months of keeping it all in! My parents (bless them for being with me through ALL of this) rushed me to the hospital where they hooked me up to monitors making sure baby and I were ok. And there I stayed for the next 12 hours, having contractions every 10 minutes and being 1cm dilated. Eventually they moved me into a maternity room to stay the night and keep an eye on me.
My contractions were getting stronger at this time but still only 10 minutes apart. I was instructed to rest in bed and not to do any walking around due to the bleeding, they had no clue what was causing it at this point. At 8pm my parents and two close friends were whisked away as visiting hours had ended. Worried I wouldn’t be able to sleep with my constant contractions, my midwife gave me sleeping tablets – they lasted all of 2 hours. So from just after midnight on the 6th of November 2012 was the start of no sleep for me!
I have heard a lot of horror stories over waters being broken, but when mine were broken I felt nothing. We then discovered that my waters had already broken when I started bleeding. They were going to give me something to speed up my labour but decided to wait for a while, as it seemed the baby’s heart was dropping every time I had my 10 minute contractions. These then sped up to every 5 minutes, at which point I promptly insisted on getting gas. Gas was my friend, I’m not sure how I would of handled these without the gas!
The doctor advised me that my child would have a very hard time coming out and that the best thing to do would be a c-section. I happily agreed as I wanted what would be best for her, and had always felt from day one to just go with whatever the hospital recommends. While waiting for the operation I confided in mum through many tears my doubts. I was so worried that I wouldn’t love my child after him leaving us, I was so anxious and upset as this was not what I had planned out for my life. She comforted me and explained that I wouldn’t be getting this upset or doing what’s best for her if it wasn’t for the love I already have for her. The drs were ready and said they were going to take me down to theatre now, the hardest part at this point was leaving the gas behind while I put up with the pain!
This past week has been an emotion roller coaster. I can imagine it would be after just giving birth in normal circumstances, but after her father leaving and the fact that my child may not have survived without the c section really shook me up. For the next five nights I had no sleep, my little one decided she likes to cry at night and be an angel during the day! I’m honestly not sure how I managed to pull through with an hour sleep each night? She finally had a fantastic sleep on my last night in hospital only waking twice for a feed every four hours! It was a blessing to get the much required sleep.
What’s best for her is providing her a life she deserves.
Who is Louise? I’m a first time mum to my beautiful little Tessa. Every day I excitedly look forward to her smiles and developments while trying to hold it together as a single parent. I’m here to let you know how I’m honestly handling this scary but amazing life changing new direction in life. I’m hoping you can all relate and I’m not just going crazy! To see all of Louise’s articles, click here.