Baby Hints & Tips

Dealing with New Parent Anxiety

Dealing with New Parent Anxiety1. I have a four month old and lately been suffering bad anxiety. My baby brings me so much joy but I can’t help but feel like I’m constantly feeling nervous/anxious, and like people judge me as a mother ( when the probably aren’t ).Is this normal feelings for a FTM or does it sound more like it could be heading into something more like PND.TIA

2. We brought our little man home from hospital on Thursday and ever since I’ve been panicked with anxiety every time he cries. I know that a 6 day old baby is going to cry, it’s the only way the communicate, but I’m more worried with my own reaction. I’m just wondering if anyone else has felt similar and how you handled it. It’s beginning to affect the way I feel and making me so anxious at the thought of him waking or getting distressed. TIA x

Both have been advised to see a medical professional to discuss their concerns.

** If you are feeling anxious please consider discussing with your doctor and/or maternal health nurse **
** Organisations like PANDA can help **

  •  I suffered from PND which started of as anxiousness and progressed from there. Hopefully you won’t get to that point but it is best to discuss it with your healthcare professional. All the best.   Amy
  •  don’t forget your body is going through a huge hormonal change, give yourself some time to get back to normal and get used to being a mum – it’s a massive change. However if the feelings persist, off to the Dr.   Lee
  •  See your dr and get a referral to see a specialist ASAP! Don’t let anxiety waste any of your precious time with your child. I have been there and I promise you, the only thing I regret about getting help is not doing it sooner. You wouldn’t put it off if it were a problem or pain in your heart/lungs/eyes, just because it’s in your brain/head doesn’t make it less real. There are specialists to help – let them do their job.   Liv
  •  I was the same with my first born. I think it’s common but not normal. Sleep deprivation escalated the anxiety too. It built up over the weeks to the point I couldn’t sleep and felt like I could drop my daughter like she was a spider crawling on me! Freaking out I went to my fab GP who explained anxiety to me as I felt like I was going insane! Also started on low dose Zoloft and felt better within a week! Seriously don’t waste precious time! Meds helped and I weaned myself 6 months later no probs. I’ve just had twins and am enjoying them so much! It’s what it should be like this time around. Please go see someone, anxiety is horrible!   Mardi
  •  I still think everyone is judging me as a mum but i don’t let it control me. I learnt to think that my son is healthy and growing and you know what, they aren’t perfect either. People are actually looking at you with knowing looks of what you are going through.     Tamyka
  •  PND definitely get dr help or tell community nurse at bubs checkup.   Kellie
  •  You sound a lot like me with my first. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety but it was triggered by a scary event with my first newborn. The lack of sleep involved with a newborn plus the Hormones & overwhelming sense of responsibility that comes with a newborn can distort your emotions. I remember feeling panicked whenever I heard her cry & couldn’t relax because I was exhausted & I knew that despite how wonderful my hubby was my baby needed me for food. The best thing for me was seeing a gp & getting help from the psychologist. Sleep did absolute wonders for me too! Please seek help now because even if it turns out to be just hormones, seeking help ASAP will get you where you want to be sooner. You want to really enjoy your baby & to do that you need to feel like ‘you’. I hope you can get the help you need .   Kathleen
  •  Perfectly normal and it does get better. So long as it’s just you being nervous about him being upset and maybe worrying your doing the wrong thing etc – I spent almost all of the first few days at home crying holing my baby – cause he didn’t cry if I was holding him when he woke up and it made me feel bad if he cried. If it doesn’t get better as you adjust to him being there then please go and see someone.   Amanda
  •  PND don’t be afraid to speak to your Dr.   Jodie
  •  It sounds like Post Natal Anxiety. You might not be depressed per se but it is actually common. I got a referral to s psychologist from my community health nurse so speak to them if you want to. Most community health places have a psychologist on site.    Lisa
  •  Wouldn’t hurt to let your doctor know, but also very normal to wonder if you’re doing everything right. I had 5 babies and went through a bit of that with each one. When I started to feel that way I would try to find a little quiet time with them to rock and cuddle. It always reminded me that the most important thing to do when you’re unsure is just love them!!    Angela
  •  I felt the same when I bought our baby home. The thought of him crying was awful. I still don’t like it. I felt judged by others and the more people came to visit the worse it became. I found lack of sleep made it worse and I was having trouble breast feeding. People kept giving their advice which felt like a personal attack. It took me until bub was 3 months to seek help. I think it can all be normal, depending on your personality, but if you get some sleep and the feelings don’t improve, seek some help now. I still get anxious when in public or when doing something new but I am able to push past those feelings to do it and enjoy it. At least talk to your GP and together you can decide if you need any further help. I also recommend finding other mums and doing something at least once a week. This will give you a support network and they help give you confidence when out and about. Trust me, you are not alone.    Jodie
  •  Yes I was like that and I’m a midwife! So different when it’s your own. Their cry is meant to evoke a response in you so you meet their needs. The anxiety response will settle down.    Emma
  •  I felt like that when my ds was that old. Its only now, (he turns 1 next week) that I don’t feel like that at all. And I never had PND. It’s something I grew out of as I became more confident.    Kai
  •  I felt like that with my first too… And yes it did lead to PND… Do go see your doctor the worst thing you could do is leave it to get worse all the best.    Ali
  •  Just because others choose not to see a Dr about these symptoms doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mate. Everyone is different. I bet you are doing a really wonderful job with your bubba, but if you feel anxious there is nothing wrong with speaking to your Dr. I did with my first born & would do it again if I felt that way again.    Jodie
  •  Have been there myself, can totally relate, it’s common but not normal, agree with all the advice above- you both should go see your Doctor.    Carolyn
  •  Post natal anxiety is so common and often ignored. You should definitely talk to your GP and have some counseling to develop good coping strategies when you feel anxious. Also try to get out and about- for a walk and also to interact with other mums and bubs. It seems sometimes easier to stay home but you will feel better for having got out and it’s good afterwards to be able to say “that was fun and I managed well with bub whilst being out” etc…. it helps to build your confidence. Remember that there is no right and wrong, whatever you do for your bub is right regardless of five differing opinions or advice! Go with your instinct and have faith in yourself. This will pass, you will get through it. But definitely seek some support. Good luck xx    Luci
  •  This is because your brain and all humans are hard wired to respond to our babies crying…trust your instinct not your fear…its normal post baby especially if it’s your first….i read Pinky Mckay’s Sleeping like a Baby was lovely read she talks about confidence, instinct and learning to be calm with your baby….just take a long breath out and trust yourself you will be a great mum.   Natalie
  •  Our bodies are designed to have a physiological reaction to our baby’s cries. It means that you have a maternal connection to your baby. My husband could never understand why I got all anxious and worked up when the baby cried – I was worst when we were in the car & baby was hungry or tired and there was nothing I could do because I was driving, I was desperate to get baby home so I could alleviate the crying! Don’t let the anxiety take over – just go thru list of what could be making baby cry – hungry, tired, dirty nappy, sore tummy, sometimes they just want a cuddle. Give yourself time to get used to your new relationship and your role as the centre of his world, try to relax and enjoy it. If the anxiety starts to feel like it is taking over you being able to function properly and enjoy this fleeting new born stage (he will be walking & talking before you know it); I would mention it to your health care giver – GP or even community nurse, they are trained to recognise PND or PNA. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job as a new mum!    Melanie
  •  Sounds similar to what I had and looking back I realised I had post natal anxiety. It is quite common but its best to go and get help. I know the difference now as I don’t have it with bub no2.   Kelly
  •  Hormones hormones hormones much of our hormones evoke hyper anxiety in us, as does lack of sleep. Be gentle on yourselves, give yourself time, get into a mums group or playgroup to help chat with others to balance your perspectives and go to your dr if you feel miserable with anxiety. It’s only a short season in your life but it’s a precious one. Fretting doesnt help.    Jo
  •  I would ask doc to arrange bloods to check your thyroid. Quite common to be over active post Partum and one if the symptoms is anxiety and feeling like the world is closing in, rapid heartbeat, hair loss, weight loss and loose bowel movements. If this sounds like a possibility worth getting a check as all things that could be similar symptoms of PND. Best of luck x    Leanne
  •  Please talk to your doctor and get a correct diagnosis. It may be nothing and completely normal, but it’s not worth taking that risk. Your health and that of your baby depend on it.  Give yourself time and trust yourself. Be gentle. It takes time to adjust. Baby crying does not mean you are not meeting their needs or are inadequate as a mother. My baby girl is 5 weeks old tomorrow and I constantly must remind myself of these things. You will start to instinctively know what each cry or action means because your confidence grows and you act without thinking instead of second guessing everything. Please share with someone you trust – talking can give you amazing perspective when you need it most. You are doing an amazing job and you can do this!    Max


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