Baby Hints & Tips

Feeling like a failure for not being able to breastfeed

Just wondering how other mums handled feeling like a failure for not being able to breastfeed? It was really important to me but due to poor supply I have to top up with formula.have tried medication to boost supply but so far its not working.

  • Try a consult with The Milk Meg she is on Facebook and she is awesome┬ánever feel like a failure you are doing the best you can for your baby Samantha
  • Even a little breastmilk gives them a boost over straight formula, it’s not a failure at all. Joanne
  • Bottle or breast, whatever you are able to do is what’s best Ebony
  • I did with all 3 of mine and I persevered and it end up my 3rd son got put in hospital for failure to thrive we nearly lost him. It hurt so much that I couldn’t feed my babies but I tried with them all and they are strong healthy boys now. Kathryn
  • I have just had to have my baby c sec at 31weeks and they had to do a hysterectomy at the same time due to placenta eccreta so I have had a hard time with feeding as my baby is too weak to feed so I have been expressing every 2-3 hrs, with a photo of bub I had advice from a lactation consultant and the ABA, I’m taking domperidone, fenugreek tabs from the health food shop, a breastfeeding support herbal tea, eating coconut oil in everything and have made lactation biscuits, I am determined to make this work so I’m not giving up, so get support, help and picture a full milk supply and successful feeding and keep going and be positive its hard but has to be done Rana
  • I felt guilty that I couldn’t with my first… I learnt after that and chose not to breastfeed for my second… without the guilt. A baby that has a full stomach and sleeps is better than breast milk that does not not fill his/her stomach. Feel proud you realised this Sue
  • You are feeding your baby, where that comes from your baby will not remember I’d they were breastfeed or bottle feed. It make no different to them…..put yourself in your baby’s shoes. Elita
  • Looking at my daughter wen having to top up with formula made it so much easier to deal with as I could see she was getting full and being more content my supply decreased more and more and once I decided to put her on formula exclusively I have Neva looked back as she was happier and putting on weight so I had no more guilt I felt so guilty that she wasnt getting her needs met with me bf she was always hungry ts her needs that need to be met most importantly not what was important to me I soon realised I wasn’t a failure I did wat I could and the best I could do. Don’t feel like a failure u have the most amazing blessing and as long as ur baby is healthy and gaining weight with formula ur no failure ur a loving mum. My daughter is now 8mths and is the happiest, healthy most content baby girl. Kristy
  • Couldn’t breastfeed both of my kids. The first time I had no idea she wasn’t getting enough milk so ended up being very malnourished and lost a lot of weight in the first two weeks. I felt terrible. But you work through it and I ended up just being okay with the fact that I could still give my baby what she needed through formula feeding. There are so many other judgemental mothers out there so every time I bottle feed I found myself having to relive my pain as I explained my actions to every person who looked at me. There is a definite level of guilt involved…. you just have to find a way to be okay with it. My second child I didn’t get milk through either so I was a little better equipped to deal with it as I had been through it all before and this time I offered no explanation, if someone else has a problem with it ….. I have a beautifully manicured middle finger nail that they would get to inspect. Lisa-Marie
  • I mix feed my 4 week old little girl coz Im not making enough milk. I spoke to my doctor about it and she has got me to start taking a pill called Motilium 3 times a day. I started it yesterday and have noticed my supply is starting to build as bub is lasting longer between feeds. Janie
  • Let’s just correct something. It’s not a failure not being able to breast feed. Every woman and child is different. We need to take the pressure off women that breast is the only way. Jane
  • Do not stress just take your time and offer the formula as well Cheryl
  • Don’t beat yourself up of your can’t. I had the exact same issue. I didn’t take medication to try and increase it though. I was borderline depressed although never admitted it. Ignore all the pro breast feeding people who make you feel like Crap and do what is best for you and bub Wendy
  • I felt guilty. But after a while I saw how great she was doing with formula and that helped. Nicolee
  • My midwife told me no baby ever died from being formula feed. Just remember at the end of the day if formula keeps your babe happy and feed that’s what really matters Kirsty
  • I got very emotional about not being able to breast feed! I lost a lot of blood during the birth of my daughter & was told my milk might take a little longer than usual . After 2 and a half days of trying to even syringe any little drop there was into her mouth the midwife suggested they try formula, she finally slept for the first time & it put my mind at rest that she wasn’t starving. After 8 days of trying to express, there was still nothing so I gave into it & kept her on the formula. I think a lot of it is the pressure that’s put on us to breast feed- I was being told to keep trying, keep trying, which was stressing me even more. Nothing wrong with a formula fed baby if that’s what mum has decided! Lisa
  • I tried with both my girls to breastfeed and was only abled to do 2 weeks I had no milk supply even with medication… With my second daughter the midwife tried to help by manually expressing and actually caused my nipples to start bleeding I was bruised for four days because of it… They made me feel like crap with both my girls… I loaned a breast pump from king Eddie’s for 2 weeks to try and get my milk flowing and it felt like I was always connected to it I felt like a cow lol…. But my girls are beautiful and well fed and even though I wasn’t able to breastfeed for long they at least got something…. Carmel
  • Breast fed or formula fed there is a common goal being met that is to provide nourishment for your baby. Don’t feel as though you are a failure. If you are still able to supply some just top up? Oat milk I found for me it really helped Alicia
  • Love your child that’s the most important thing. I found breast feeding easy with my first but so hard with my second but out of guilt I persevered! Society has these ideals but as my mum told me the baby hadn’t read the manual!! Think about it when you walk down the street and see other people do you know if they were bottle or breast fed? NO but what you do see is a happy or sad child love cuddles and safety is what your baby needs. Xoxo Pamela
  • It isn’t the best feeling In The world but you have to forgive yourself, you can only do ur best. I could only bf for 6 weeks first child and 3 weeks second child. Heather
  • Yes, as a first time mum i tried but i couldnt get passed the pain. All my gfs where bfing, and i felt like such a failure having to nottle feed. Then my bub got terrible constipation and i cried for days. I had no support. Second time round with naby number to i promised i wouldnt give up trying to bf and damn was it painful!! But 9mths later we r still bfing and bub is thriving. Its possible. I went through hell in the first wks, bleeding nipples, blickd ducts, the lot! The trick for me was to get through one day at a time. Danielle
  • Between having a low supply, rusty pipe syndrome, a regurgitating baby, expressing and living on two hours maximum of sleep .. no guilt here. Taryn
  • You have tried your best! Unfortunately not all mums get the privilege of being able to choose when they want to stop feeding their bubs. I had to top up with formula, but i felt blessed that I had been able to feed at all and for the time I was able to. Feel great that every feed they get from you is a win for them! Keep smiling and don’t feel down about something you can’t control! Rachael
  • It makes you feel super guilty I think from it being drummed in from day one. Trying to breast feed my little one was a horrible experience for him and for me and formula feeding just made feeding more enjoyable and we could actually bond instead of fighting but as my mum said to me at least you know how much he’s had and what he’s had! No worries about chocolate or orange juice making him crook! So long as your wee one is happy and healthy is all that matters in the end Brylee
  • I had the same problem with my first and third. I was completely in denial the first time. Got onto it quickly with the third because really the worst thing is when bub gets really skinny, its worse than not being able to breastfeed. No choice but to accept it just remember you did what you could Rebecca

Did you have difficulties breastfeeding? How did you overcome your troubles? Comment below

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  1. AvatarGen Fields says:

    I wasn’t able to breastfeed my twins, after successfully breastfeeding two singleton babies. My story here – http://perfectmummom.com/2015/04/12/breastfeeding-its-personal/

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