Mention nurturing your relationship and most women will roll their eyes and tell you they don’t have time to worry about it. Between kids, housework, outside work, school drop offs and after school activities, there isn’t much left. We have 7 ways to nurture your relationship without having to exert too much energy.
The reality of course is that if you don’t nurture your relationship, you won’t be able to keep everything else running smoothly as you will end up taking on all of the burden for the house and kids. Relationship problems after having kids is common. When you take the time to spend quality time with your partner the rewards are not only in sharing time together but in restoring your partner’s faith in your relationship and giving them the nurturing they need along the way. In turn you will see a change in areas such as a willingness to help out more, reciprocated nurturing and an increase in intimacy levels.
Nurturing your relationship doesn’t simply mean sex. This is of course an important part but it’s not all there is to it.
Make your bedroom a device free zone.
If you need an alarm clock then buy an old fashioned alarm clock but remove all devices such as phone, tablets, laptops etc. Your bedroom is your space to be together without interruption from outside sources (other than the kids of course).
Create a sanctuary.
If your bedroom has seen better days and is becoming a dumping ground then it’s time to change things. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to make a big difference. Buy a new doona cover, clear away the clutter and add some lamps to create a warm and romantic sanctuary for the two of you. When you go to bed at night there is something very intimate about knowing you are in your sacred space for just the two of you.
Never go to bed without telling your partner you love them.
Let the last thing you both hear be the words “I love you”.
When you are lying in bed, spend a few minutes telling each other 5 things you love about each other. You can include things you are grateful for, the things that make you smile, laugh etc.
Make sure you schedule a regular date night.
Once a week, fortnight or month, whatever works for you but it has to be a regular occurrence. You don’t need to spend a lot to have date night, it can be as simple as sending the kids to the grandparents for the night and you enjoy a movie night at home. Buy your favourite takeaway and a dvd you haven’t seen and curl up on the couch together. Of course, the sky is the limit on this one and is only limited by your budget but it can be just as special whether you spend $10 or $100 or more.
Leave notes for each other.
Tuck little notes into your partner’s wallet, their car, lunch, underwear draw. Anywhere they are likely to go each day. Nothing brightens your day more than a little note of appreciation from your partner.
Involve the kids in a family night.
Once a week, cook a special meal or buy a favourite take-away, spend time telling stories, have an inside picnic, have a home movie night etc. This not only strengthens the family unit but also nurtures your relationship as a couple as you enjoy working together and spending quality time together as parents. A united team makes for a much less stressful life.
No matter what you do, remember that it was your love for each other that created your family and that above all else it is important to nurture that love and not take it for granted.
Always find ways to nurture your relationship, it is worth it.