Baby Hints & Tips

Dealing with an unexpected pregnancy

Sad woman standing in a field

I have just found out I’m pregnant again. We have two children under two, I’m currently breastfeeding my 6 month old, and we were not planning to have any more children. My first reaction was absolutely shocked, then scared, then excited, then sad. My partner said to me “if we have another baby, it will ruin our relationship. But we will work something out.” I don’t think having another baby is fair on my two children, but I am against having an abortion. I can’t see how I will mentally or physically cope with having another baby. In this past hour I have thought about abortion, adoption, keeping this baby and risking ruining my relationship with my partner, keeping this baby and continuing to breastfeed both my 6mo and then tandem nursing. I have no idea what I’m going to do. Please, I really need to hear some words of encouragement, advice, positivity, negativity, anything. Thank you

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  1. AvatarRebecca says:

    I am 24, have 4 kids under 4, and have a great relationship with my hubby.
    I have personally found that life gets easier the more kids you have. I don’t go out a real lot, and when I do I need to be organised, but my kids are all the best of friends. Please don’t have an abortion! Children are such a blessing! Yes, they’re a lot of work, but they’re worth it!

  2. AvatarCourtney says:

    I am 25 and will have 4 kids under 5 in jan 2014 did I plan them no but wouldn’t change it for the world my hubby and I even know both young didn’t have a plan for this many kids so fast but could never abort obviously God had a different plan for us and although its tough its also made us appreciate the little things in life more all the best you will get through this just remember to keep communicating and get the partner to have snip or get tubes done you’ll be fine 🙂 smile and laugh and take photos cause before u know it there off to big school

  3. AvatarReggie says:

    Our son was six months old when we found out about our surprise. I was about 9 weeks when we found out. It was a huge shock as I had just started a new job and we had moved interstate. We thought about a lot of what you have and can understand how you feel. If I found out we were having a third now I would be in complete shock. I’m so glad we have our daughter because she is just what her brother needed. I’m sure your two are best friends so there is the concern of throwing another in the mix. I don’t know your personal situation financially etc perhaps it would be best to discuss with a professional. Can’t imagine how you are feeling but just remember not to put too much pressure on yourself with feeding. Not sure how far along you are but your first will be 3 when this one comes and hopefully your little one wil be more independent. Just a few thoughts to try and help you.

  4. Avatarsusi says:

    I believe everything happens for a reason this baby will be a blessing to you 🙂 everything always has a way of working itself out in the end . You wont have to buy anything new for this baby bc you already have everything from your first two and by the time they start costing you money you will be back at work anyway 🙂 I dont understand why another child would ruin your relationship tho? I think men get scared and say things they really dont mean once he sees this little baby he will change his tune I bet 🙂 good luck

  5. AvatarSam says:

    I have 2 children ( 4&2) hubby had a vasectomy and now I’m pregnant with number 3. We didn’t want anymore hence the vasectomy.

    It’s very easy to rush trying to wrap ur head around ur billions of thoughts and rush making a decision. U just want to solve it asap. I’m still undecided. We did go to a clinic only to be told it is too early to abort and were made to take another 10 days. Look into how far along you are and at what point u feel you could no longer abort. For me personally I couldn’t bare to think the baby would feel it and nerves start functioning week 8 so week 7 is my cut off. I hope to decide by tomorrow, then if I need to make an appointment ring the next day for it to be done 2 days after that so everything has time to sink it.

    Once u have a cut off date. Try working through ur emotions, writing them down, use online questionnaires, telephone counselling (make sure the first thing u ask is are they pro choice), think about life in 1,5 &10 years time. How would you cope with either decision?

    After doing all this myself I feel clearer minded and know I will cope either way but just need to force myself to finally comment to a choice. Good luck.

  6. I really liked how your partner said that you can work something out even if the unplanned pregnancy has the possibility of getting in the way of your relationship. To be honest, I feel the same way because this will be my first baby, however, I do think that something good will come out of it. In my case, I think what I need to focus on now is to keep the baby healthy. After all, it is still my baby.