Sibling Jealousy after the Arrival of New Baby

Did you do anything to help your child cope with the arrival of a new baby? Did they cope well? Any tips?

• Get them involved with the new baby’s activities as much as possible. “Helping” with the new baby makes them feel part of it all a bit more. Also, a gift from the new baby to their sibling doesn’t hurt! Melanie

• I brought a small gift from the baby to the older child. To say thank you and I am so excited you are going to be my older brother/sister. Also I made up a special box of things. Then while I was feeding the new baby the older child got with the special things in the box. It was like his reward. I also asked for lots of help. But didn’t demand it. I would just say “mummy needs your help, can you help me now or are you busy’ I didn’t really need the help but it made the older child feel very important. Even if it was a nappy the wipes or a singlet. Then I would say thank you so much you are such a great older brother. Never said things like what would mummy do without your help or stuff like that. Because I felt that put pressure on the older child. I made it sound like the baby was so happy she had the best brother in the whole world. I guess it also depends on how big the age gap is… Gill

• When our new bub arrived our daught came to the hospital and we gave her a baby doll of her own called toby she dose all the things im doing with bub with toby its worked really well as bub reaches new milstones so dose toby its so cute : ) Kylie

• My toddler came to ALL of my scans & appointments so she felt very involved from the begining and new all about her baby sister! She also chose a doll for baby & I brought a pressie for her from the baby too. Also as said above getting them to help is a huge thing – this way they don’t feel left out…Ask them to – choose which bottle to use or ask them to get a clean nappy, or take dirty nappy to the bin. Maybe even let them choose what clothes baby will wear for the day! The more they are involved the easier the new adjustment will be! J Tamara

• 6 months and still no jealousy. The main things i do is/was:
  • Involve the toddler in all things baby when he wants to help
  • NEVER blame anything on the baby or get angry when they are interacting with the baby
  • LOTS OF CUDDLES and bonding time when baby is asleep (at least 10 mins)
  • Always let them hold and cuddle when they want to with supervision even if its only for a min coz the baby is not in the mood

• We read a great book we read on and off until bubs arrived. My son also got a present from his sister when she got here. I have one rule don’t blame anything on the baby. Eg don’t say we have to go home from a fun place because the baby needs to sleep. I would rather he be upset with me for ruining his fun than thinking babies always do. It’s Aldo good to have grandparents and aunts and uncles on hand to shower love on the toddler then they think all the fuss is on them. Rebecca

• Dont tell them the baby is a form of play thing, prepare them for the fact that they mainly sleep n cry but will get bigger one day and be a good friend. Katie

• Another one a midwife told me was when feeding have a special activity that they are only allowed to do at feeding time. She had a feeding toy box, I used playdoh then later colouring in. Katie

• Yes what Rebecca said too about family, it reminded me that everyone who came to visit the baby first gave a present to toddler and 5 mins playtime. Very important I think. Katie

• If I’m busy doing something tea washing etc i ask my boys if they can hold him play with him or change his nappy of course i supervise but even my nearly 4 year old does a fantastic job it makes them feel so important . Bec

• I had a special gift for my daughter when her brother was born – she thought that it was great but I had also given her a baby doll to play with so that she had a baby when I did, it worked well – my mum did the same thing when my sister was born. The only problem we had was bed time, she didnt want to go to bed and if you put her to bed she would scream and scream until she was sick. it took 3 months to get it to stop. Kylie