A common question on baby hints and tips is what to do when baby prefers others over mum.
Community question: Baby prefers others over mum
My baby is 10 weeks old and I feel like he doesn’t prefer me to others. I’ve never been overly maternal so I don’t know if he picks up on this! He is breastfed with a formula before bed which his dad feeds him. My Aunty looks after him once a week for a few hours while I shop and it seems he smiles and loves being with her more than me. It has pretty much always been this way, it’s not a stage. Anyone else feel like this?
- I feel like you are needing to go talk to your doctor. It sounds like you might have a touch of the baby blues if you are feeling this way. Which is nothing to worry about if you go and talk to your doctor. Alecia
- That makes me feel sad you feel that way. There is no way your baby prefers anyone more than you! It can sometimes take awhile to ‘bond’ with your baby, especially if it’s your first time. As he gets older the more connected you will feel. He is only young too. Give it time, you will see. Jo
- Have you been stressed or upset? You’re baby could be picking up on that. Generally, your baby will reflect your moods. I had post natal depression and noticed that when I was upset, so was my daughter. Sometimes, she was happier and slept better when she was with other people. Also, he’ll start interacting a lot more as the weeks go by and he’ll give you small expressions and gestures and you’ll know that he loves you Lizzie
- I think sometimes it can seem that way when you are with them all day and they get excited to see a fresh face but ultimately, who does he want when he’s tired or unwell? Bec
- I felt like this with my first son. He always preferred daddy and Nannie over me from the start and unfortunately it still like that and he’s 4.5 years. He is happy to be with other people and happy most of the time and easy to care for. My second son on the other hand who is 9 months only wants me. He gets upset a lot more and it gets draining as he only wants me. Think of the positives that he’s happy within his environment and the people he is with and taking it all in his stride. Katrina
- I felt that way when my son was about the same age. After researching, doing a lot of reading and speaking with my maternal health are nurse it appears that this is not uncommon. Babies can seem to be ‘better behaved’ for anyone else, other than their primary caregiver because the relationship is very different. They have learnt to trust their primary caregiver and know they will meet their needs. So they will often be better behaved for others. I would see it as a positive sign! Lara
- I felt like my baby was the same up until about 12/13 weeks (would go for anyone’s boob, was happy to be cuddled by anyone and didn’t seem to notice me at all) and then all of a sudden she started smiling at me as soon as she could see me and always looking for me if I’m not holding her. I figured it was just cause they were still so young and still trying to figure out what’s going on out in the big world! Belinda
- My little one gets really excited when she sees her daddy come home, however, she doesn’t seem to get the same excitement with me. This is totally normal, your bubby thinks you and him are one person and you’ll feel more loved and appreciated once bubs is around 6 months and he is learning the art of relationships. Come 7-8 months and he’ll cry every time you leave his side. Try not to let those feelings enter your mind. You carried your little guy around for 9 months, you have a special bond that is yet to be revealed. Jade
- I’m sorry you feel that way. I hope with time you feel better about your relationship. I can tell you at 9 months my darling son cries when his dad takes him to bed and away from me cause he wants to be close to me all the time. I don’t remember ever thinking this at that age, but certainly now he doesn’t like to be away from his mummy. Missy
- It’s definitely not you. Your Bub is always with you so they get excited over others. I bet if he didn’t see you for days he would be the same. Don’t get down on yourself. Wait until he is older and never wants you to leave. I have a 1 and 2 year old and I can’t even go to the toilet without them getting upset if I leave them. And if I go to the shops for 10 mins when I come back they say mummy mummy like I have been gone forever and I’m with them 24/7! Don’t beat yourself up over it your doing great. He would be lost without you. Jess
- I did feel like this until he got a little older and started to show affection more. The most heart warming/reassuring was when I was at work all day and he tried to jump out of his great grandmothers arms to come to me. Another time I had been at work all day and he wouldn’t go to bed with out me cuddling him because he missed me. He will start showing more and more affection as he gets older.. Me and his father are the only ones who get kisses at the moment, I love it Samantha
- At 10weeks my baby’s were happy to be with anyone who cuddled or fed. It wasn’t till about 5months they became clingy to me. Mel
- At 10 weeks they are happy with whoever meets their needs. Talk to your doctor or baby clinic about what’s going on as I feel you might need some reassurance from them that things are ok Celeste
- Perhaps baby is just perfectly comfortable with you. He trusts you and is obviously very settled for you to leave him with Aunty and let dad feed him. I think the other side of the coin is that you are meeting all his needs and he is feeling loved and cared for by you and is therefore very settled with others. How lovely! The smiles and laughs will come, and in a few months when he’s older and then you won’t keep him off you. But it sounds like you are doing a great job! Pat yourself on the back hun, don’t stress, I felt like this with my second, it’s natural to question things but give it a bit more time Mel
