We love this awesome guide for Dad’s on being helpful at your baby’s birth! Even better its a witty quick read. All the best for your own delivery!
The big day is looming. The nursery’s ready.
The cot is assembled, complete with a teddy.
You’re ready for fatherhood, rearing to go,
But before that happens there’s things you should know.
No, not about parenting. You’ll work that out.
That isn’t quite what this poem’s about.
This is about helping bring into the world
Your precious small boy or your beautiful girl.
But first, once again, just consider your luck.
You were born without ovaries, so you’re not stuck
With the job of delivering. Childbirth is TOUGH.
So be grateful – your job isn’t nearly so rough.
As if pregnancy wasn’t enough of an ask,
She’s now got in store a most difficult task.
Your job is as simple as simple can be:
Be her rock, her support, her loving devotee.
First think of how she is probably feeling.
The fear, the exhaustion, the fact she’ll be squealing
Her lungs out within the next hour or two.
So your first job: just be the best version of you.
If she’s chosen you as her birth partner, that’s good.
It means that she values you (as well she should!).
Give her reason to think she chose wisely and well.
Be supportive, be kindly, be patient as hell.
Perhaps I exaggerate. For some, I hear,
It’s not all THAT bad and there’s little to fear.
But for the majority of other girls
It’s the most excruciating job in the world.
So be patient and calm at all times with your wife.
It’s no straightforward task to bring forth a new life.
When she says “honey, I think it’s starting”, breathe deep…
And bid one last farewell to 8-hours-a-night sleep.
You may not have realised, but labour takes hours.
When it starts, many women have found that hot showers
And warm baths can help ease the pain. Try those things first.
But eventually she’ll feel like she’s gonna burst.
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for!
By now you should have your packed bags by the door.
Pack the car with the bags and the mother-to-be.
Now: RESIST THE URGE TO BREAK THE RECORD FOR SPEED.
Once she’s settled at hospital, your duty is
To do anything the expectant mother says.
“Get a nurse”. “Run a bath.” “Rub my back”. You’d best do it.
Just respond with “Yes, dear” and then quickly hop to it.
Assuming you’ve talked about it before now,
You could take a few photos, if these she’ll allow.
Put some music on. Get her a drink or a snack.
She might like a hot water bottle or ice pack.
To be honest, there’s not a lot for you to do.
You can’t share her pain, much as you might like to.
When she asks for your help then be quick on your feet.
In the meantime, be helpful, supportive and sweet.
There’s a long list of things you should not – SHOULD NOT – say.
Like “I’m tired, I might just go home for the day”.
Don’t say “this is boring” or ask “what’s that smell?”
If you do, she may strangle you with your lapel.
It may actually hurt you to see her in pain.
Be prepared for that. It can drive you near insane
To watch someone you love going through so much hurt
Whilst you’re standing there, wincing, but mostly inert.
If you’re looking down there, don’t yell out “OH MY GOD!”
Just be silent, and happy, and quietly awed.
It’s a miracle. A whole new life will soon start –
One you’ll love to the very last beat of your heart.
Like every mother, she’ll get there in time.
Squeeze her hand. Stroke her hair. Tell her she’s doing fine.
Tell her she’s doing GREAT, best a Mum ever did.
Wipe the tears from your eyes. It’s time to meet your kid.
Congratulations, Daddy! And Mummy too!
Your baby is born, and you both made it through!
And although I don’t want to cause any distress…
The easy part’s over. GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST.