Community question: guilt after baby falls
Yesterday my 5 week old DD had a minor fall. We went straight to hospital where she was monitored over four hours and given the all clear. Even though she wasn’t injured, I am still feeling terrible as the accident could have been prevented by me if I had been more careful. I’m beating myself up to say the least. My question is has this happened to other mums and how long did it take for you to forgive yourself? I keep replaying the incident in my head and can’t stop thinking about it
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- Pretty sure every parent, mums and dads, have all made mistakes. We had a trip the to Hospital Emergency area a couple of weeks ago due to a preventable accident. Yes, we feel super bad but we have learnt a valuable lesson! She was completely fine but man what a whopper of a black eye and of course EVERYONE (including people I don’t know!) had to comment on it! My partner and I just told people it was from baby cage fighting and they should see the other baby. A polite way of saying “mind you’re own business” Casey
- Please don’t be hard on your self, when my DS was only 5 weeks old, I got him out of his bassinet & his wrap got caught, I accidently dropped him, he fell into a pile of blankets. I instantly took him straight to emergency. The fall resulted in 2 fractures on the back of his skull, he was in hospital for a week.. Guilt still riddles me daily, if he isn’t doing things when he should like walking etc. I didn’t carry him for 6 weeks after the accident.. I spoke to a counsellor while I was staying in the hospital with him which really really helped with the guilt after baby fell. But these things happen, that’s what I’ve come to realise. Sometimes you can’t prevent it, & beating yourself up doesn’t help.. I’m sure your a fantastic mumma, be kind to yourself xoxo Rae
- My DS is now 2.5 years old and it has happened multiple times since he was very little. You aren’t alone, you won’t be the last person (& definitely not the first) to do this, relax, forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, parenting is a learning journey. X Kylie
- I can laugh now but 8pm at night, bub fell off the bed, face first onto a tile floor. 6 hours being monitored at Westmead kids hospital we finally saw a Dr. I was sure they would call docs for being such a crap mum. Guess what they said? Baby is fine, might have a headache for a day or 2. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Babies are fast! I told the Dr my fears too and she laughed saying abuse looks much different. We all accidentally do it babe. Bub is fine so deep breath and let it go, let go the guilt after baby falls. Kathryn
- My 9 month old fell off my bed a few months ago. He suddenly decided he wanted to roll at the worst time. Accidents happen, don’t beat your self up on it. My dr told me babies may seem fragile but there extremely tough, lost of mummy cuddles! Emma
- Yes I dropped my little one face first onto a thin stack of cardboard on concrete. I felt like the worse mum ever and what made it worse was my CHN seeing it happen. Bub was fine, I was not! It took me a while to get over those moments of thinking about/recalling it. You just need to take some deep breathes and remind yourself she’s okay you are okay, it was an accident and these things happen to the best of us. Big hugs mumma you are doing a good job and move on from the guilt after baby falls. Katrina
- Try not to be too hard on yourself, kids sometimes get hurt. My daughter ran into a wall the other day and got a huge egg on her head. She just got over excited and started running, but now she is more careful when she runs through the house. Taking tumbles is all part of finding out their spatial awareness and reflexes. You are a great mummy, always remember that!! Alana
- My almost 6 month old rolled off the bed maybe a month ago, he was on the floor laughing! I learned to stop co sleeping! Danielle
- I dropped my little sister down the stairs when she was an infant and I was 8yo carrying her. She bounced the whole way down on her head. She’s about to turn 15yo and the smartest in our family. Babies are like rubber and extremely resilient. I felt awful for forever but she is very clearly perfectly fine. Emmalee
- Give yourself a break Mama! We’ve all been there and trust me, there will be more! Kids are very resilient! Alana
- Yes happen to both of my girls when young, I did feel horrible but it soon goes away when they smile at u and start bubbling to let u know they are ok Danielle
- You sound like a damn good mum, the fact that it’s rattled you so much proves that. Go easy on yourself….you’re human and it only takes the slightest distraction sometimes. Bubs will be fine and the good news is…it teaches us a good lesson without any serious consequences. Give yourself a break over the guilt after baby falls. Ange
- So far my 6mo has been dropped on stairs once has fallen out of bed twice and the dog has dropped his toys on her 3 times. And there are the numerous times my partner has knocked her head on the car while putting her in her seat. She’s a perfectly happy, smiling 6mo but I still feel a lot of guilt after baby falls, every time she has been hurt. Even the times that weren’t my fault. Babies are made to bounce, that’s why their bones are so soft. Amy
- Every parent goes through this at some stage. Most babies, despite vigilant parents, will suffer a minor fall/accident. Accidents happen, you got her medical attention in case of injury and she was ok, that’s what matters. Nicole
- I don’t know how bad yours was but this is my son from today! He was being stupid when he was meant to be asleep fell between the wall and the bed frame and took his face out on the window sill! Lots of blood and crying and he’s all good! Call me a horrible person but I no longer feel bad for my kids when they do stupid things after being told not to so many times! I will comfort them if they have a big stack but normally after little ones I’ll just tell them to brush it off and give them a high 5 Jessie
- I know how you feel. My 10mo fell and fractured his leg a few days ago and I feel like the worst mum ever. I suppose after time when we see our bubs are okay we will start to feel less guilty after baby falls. Rox-Anna
- I still feel guilty for my dd when she was 4 months old I made the huge mistake of not strapping her into the pram and my 5yodd was being ever so helpful and pushed the pram down the step, out came baby and landed straight on the pebblecrete. A little stone was lodged under her eye. Off to hospital we went and miss dd was charming the pants off everyone. You do learn to live with the guilt and it does subside. Many more accidents will happen, just like today she fell from a slide when she was half way down (nearly 1) she cried but she is fine. You will get over it and also learn to deal with all of the other falls/finger jams/ head bumps and the many thousands more to come. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are human and most of all you are a mummy. You are doing a great job. Emma
- It happens to everyone and it will happen again. Falls, tumbles, cuts and bruises it’s all a part of growing up and these little bubba’s are tougher then you think. Don’t beat yourself you about it Chloe
- My son had a fall at six weeks old and I rushed him to hospital he was completely fine but I cried and felt sooooo bad, the hospital staff were nice saying it was an accident and your not the only one it took me a few weeks to get over it but he’s 4 1/2 months now and I’m over it it was a mistake to learn from, your doing a good job mumma don’t let it get you down forever everyone makes mistakes we just have to learn from them xx Brittany
- This hasn’t happened to me but please try be kinder to yourself. A very good sign of you being upset is because you love your little bundle so very much. There are so many things that our kids go trough at any & all ages that we could prevent ourselves. You are not a bad parent by any account you made a mistake but the important thing to remember is your baby is ok and you will be too. Xx Jay
- You are a good mum! I’m a soon to be mum & work in emergency, we are always seeing bubs & tots that take a tumble & it’s no ones fault! It happens on a daily bases & as you can see you are not alone. It would be traumatic for you- quite often I’m treating not only the patient but the parent who often is more upset & needing reassurance than the child! I’m prepared to make mistakes & see my fare share of accidents in my children- it will be awful & I’ll feel bad but in the end they will bounce back (kids are amazingly resilient!) & will love you just the same:) time will make you feel better & don’t doubt you’re mothering! Xo Tiffany
- When my daughter was 3 1/2 months she fell off our change table and we did the same thing monitored at hospital for four hours and i felt so so so horrible. Took a couple months before i stopped thinking of it entirely but give it a week or two and you’ll feel better. Don’t beat yourself up accidents happen Maddy
- Don’t beat yourself up she is ok and accidents happen. You will be tough on yourself about it forever as mums do. I still go over my 18month old pulling my 3month old off the lounge, my fault. He was ok. They are now 19yrs and 20yrs. I still think about how I could have prevented it. Give yourself a break Mel
- I picked up my bub in her bouncer, not remembering she wasn’t strapped in… splat she went face down on the floor. One day babysitting my niece was putting her and my daughter into their jolly jumpers. My niece was all set up bouncing away was just about to hook my bub up niece decided to somehow become a jumbo jet and launched herself out of the jolly jumper. I was petrified on both occasions! When my sister came home here I was in tears at what had happened here she was laughing at what had happened… 17yrs later I can laugh too! My point being you can beat yourself up and make yourself feel bad but you know it was an accident and that you would never intentionally hurt your bub. Alison
- I think most of us have had that happen at some stage. Don’t beat yourself up. Sandra
- Once you realise that it does happen to everyone. *hugs* it really does. My dd fell off her change table as I was holding her. I softened the fall but she still fell at about 11 mo. She was fine. The nurse we saw said her dd fell out of a trolley on concrete at 11 mo. She was fine. A mother in our group dropped her 6 week old in the garage on his head. He was fine. We all have accidents. Chin up. It literally happens to everyone. Melissa
- My four month old baby tipped over in the pram on the bus. Same situation it could have been prevented if me or my partner had been more careful. Although the driver did take a turn way too fast. He was totally fine but I did blame myself for ages. These things happen, just learn from them and try not to let it happen again you’re not a bad mum and babies bounce! At least that’s what my partners mum told me haha Sarah
- Oh sweetie don’t be hard on yourself. I have four children & each of them have had their share of accidents. Most recently little miss 20 months fell out of the hammock (I didn’t even realise she’d gone outside). I felt like the worst mother on earth as we rushed her to the medical centre. Accidents will & do happen, your bubs is loved & that’s all that matters! Allison
- Baby will be fine you’re overthinking! But that just comes with the love a momma has for her lil one! You are a very loving mommy! you didn’t slam baby on the ground; you made a minor mistake. Hope baby and you are feeling better! Samantha
- Oh mumma, we’ve all been there, don’t be too hard on yourself. My boy had his first black eye before he was a year old after pulling a safety gate loose and knocking his head on the skirting board. He also arched his back and fell off the change table. Thankfully it was a table with drawers and he fell into a drawer, not to the floor, but still heart stopping. Use it as a learning curve. Now you know it can happen and how to prevent it. Accidents happen, to all of us Rebecca
- My 6 month old was sitting in a toddler seat when it collapsed on a steep hill he smashed head first into the cement. I rushed him to the hospital where he was monitored. Terrible bruising and cuts and grazing. I felt even worse when a relative said ‘maybe that’s why the seat was recalled…’ I had no idea and made me feel even worse. It has been 12mths and I still cringe and have heart palpitations even looking at that hill. For give yourself and give lots of kisses Joanne
- My exes mother dropped him out of her hospital bed when he was a newborn. Accidents happen, I know you’re feeling awful right now, but there will be many more bumps and bruises over the years. You did the right thing taking Bub straight to hospital Sallie
- This happened a few weeks ago to me, she fell off the bed when i was drying her after a bath, bubba was about 9 weeks old, i was hysterical, she was monitored in hospital for 12 hours but all was fine, took me about. A week to feel ok again but you get there, accidents happen hun you just have to remember that. Louise
- My daughter was in the capsule but not clipped in and I completely forgot. She fell out lucky not to far off the ground and she screamed not cause she was hurt but because it had scared her but I beat my self up over it for 2 weeks or more Katherine
- Every other parent I know has done something along those lines at some point or another. You will laugh it off when they are running around falling over and getting right back up. They are tougher then you think. You did they right thing. Your a great mum Elle
- When my son was about 11 months old he slipped over hitting his head on the corner of a bookcase. We rushed him to hospital where he had a stitch. I felt dreadful!! I was in tears at the hospital & so anxious that I was offered a sedative. I thought I was the worst mother in the world! At my doctors appointment a few days later my GP asked me how my son was because the hospital send a copy of the paperwork to your treating doctor. I sobbed telling him it was all my fault because I should have been closer so I could have grabbed him before he hit his head. My GP told me that when his youngest son was born he was working in a hospital. His wife was changing his newborn sons nappy & turned her back just as he very unexpectedly rolled over and off the change table breaking his arm requiring surgery! He assured me that things happen & you shouldn’t beat yourself up for it. His son got over his broken arm & mine would get over his stitch. Aster
- My little one fell off the bed when she was almost 1. She was a lot older than your little one but still I felt so bad, I think I cried more than she did! She was fine but I felt bad for ages! I think every mum/dad has one of these stories at some stage! Emily
- When my little one was starting to stand up, around 6 months, I used to have a portacot with a bassinet in the kitchen. One night, I was cooking dinner and her dad was standing next to the portacot making her bottle. I had my back to both of them. Hubby had just put her in for 30 seconds or so while he made a bottle. Next thing I know I hear a thud and turn around to see bub lying on the floor. Needless to say I freaked out, so did hubby. Only reason why we didn’t take her to ER was because hubby say her as she fell n couldn’t catch her. He saw that after she landed, she smacked her head. After 5 seconds of crying she demanded her bottle then played happily with us. I monitored all night to see if I needed to take her to ER. Don’t stress, crap happens, sometimes, you’re just not fast enough and sometimes what’s safe one day isn’t the next. Regine
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